


Smarty Smarty

by ddelusionall



Series: Naughty Naughty, Smarty Smarty [2]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Best Friends, Break Up, Changmin is a genius, Discrimination, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Finding love right in front of your face, First Time, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Junsu sees the light, Kim Jaejoong & Park Yoochun Are Best Friends, M/M, Pining, Post-Break Up, Religious Conflict, Religious Guilt, Seduction, hidden love, why won't you see me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-25
Updated: 2010-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 10:07:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 59,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23849434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: Jaejoong misses Yunho so much, but he still has his Yoochun, and they both are facing more challenges than merely trying to turn their roommates gay. Will being in college and away from Yunho tear them apart, or only push them closer?
Relationships: Jung Yunho (DBSK)/Kim Jaejoong, Jung Yunho (DBSK)/Lee Donghae, Kim Jaejoong/Park Yoochun, Kim Jaejoong/Shim Changmin, Kim Junsu (JYJ)/Park Yoochun
Series: Naughty Naughty, Smarty Smarty [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718539
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. In the Dorm Room

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

Title: Smarty Smarty 1/?  
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Junsu, Changmin/Jaejoong, Yunho/Jaejoong (and subsequent combinations), Yunho/Donghae  
Rating: NC-17  
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they'd all go to college and major in Sexy.

Summary: Jaejoong misses Yunho so much, but he still has his Yoochun, and they both are facing more challenges than merely trying to turn their roommates gay. Will being in college and away from Yunho tear them apart, or only push them closer?

Warnings: Older Yunho (40 yrs old), Younger Jaejoong (18)

A/N: This fic is a sequel to [Naughty Naughty](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/64987.html#cutid1). And because it's a sequel, and the original was dedicated to my loverly Jules ([](https://julili.livejournal.com/profile)[ **julili**](https://julili.livejournal.com/) ) this one will be as well. I love you, my darling. ♥♥♥♥♥

  
Poster credit goes to [](https://candybow.livejournal.com/profile)[**candybow**](https://candybow.livejournal.com/) for finding a cool picture to use and to [](https://markieyumeutau.livejournal.com/profile)[**markieyumeutau**](https://markieyumeutau.livejournal.com/) for actually making the poster. Thank you darlings!!! ♥♥♥

Part 1:   
**A/N: I hate to spoil the story but I am getting tired of defending this one in comments. Yes, this is a sequel to the Yunho/Jaejoong fic Naughty Naughty (which is more of a Yunho/Yoochun/Jaejoong fic anyway). Yes, this story's main pairing is a Yoochun/Jaejoong story. That is the FIRST pairing in the pairing list for a reason. Yes, there is some Yunho/Jaejoong, but they do NOT end up as a couple. In my defense, I actually started this story with the intent of having it end up as a Yunho/Jaejoong story, but Yoochun pled his case in my brain as the best friend who has been in love with Jaejoong and stood by him since they were children, and ... well ... if I've learned anything about writing it's to never argue with your characters.**

Sleep eluded him, teased and mocked him from just behind his closed eyes.

It was dark. That was it. Too dark.

And hot. Too hot.

Jae kicked off the blankets, frustrated.

It was not because Yunho wasn’t there. It wasn’t. Because they weren’t attached to each other like that.

_Liar, liar._

Jae curled up with his pillow, lying on his side. That’s how he slept the best. On his side. With Yunho behind him.

But there was no Yunho behind him to snuggle up with.

He gave up the pretense of sleeping and sat up, leaning against the wall. His new roommate stirred in his sleep, but didn’t wake up.

Kim Junsu was cute. Absolutely fucking adorable, and he had an ass that made Jae wish he was a top. But the kid was devoutly spiritual and even kneeled down to pray before going to sleep. Jae did his best to keep his scoffs to himself. It was hard. After exchanging names, and asking about fields of study, Junsu had practically demanded to know what religion Jae followed.

Jae told him he believed in cocks and vibrators; no god or religion could give pleasure like that.

The look on Junsu’s face had been priceless.

Jae brought the pillow to his face. It smelled like Yunho.

His heart lurched and he screamed into the softness.

Going to college was a stupid idea. Stupid. Why did he have to anyway? And what the hell was Yunho’s problem?

Jae didn’t care that they were so far apart in age, but Yunho sure did.

_And then the asshole goes and says he loves you. Through a text message of all things._

Jae sighed. It was too stuffy in his room.

Heechul, the RA for his floor, said they had a curfew, but Jae doubted he’d mind if he found Jae in the middle of the hallway. He left the Yunho-smelling pillow on his bed and went out to the hallway. He leaned against the wall and then slid down it, propping his elbows on his knees. He stared at his phone. At the last text message from Yunho telling him to have fun.

Jae didn’t want to have fun in college. Jae wanted to have fun with Yunho.

True, his ass still fucking stung from the spanking he’d gotten earlier that morning, but the pain would be gone tomorrow and the only thing he’d have left of Yunho was his smell (which would fade) and the ache in his heart (which would never fade).

Jae didn’t cry. He didn’t. Unless no one was around to see it.

He let the tears drip down his face and then said, “Fuck it.”

He sent Yunho a text message, sure the old man would be asleep.

**sexyBeauty** \+ Hi +

Jae was shocked when he got an immediate reply.

**sexyBeast** ~ Hi ~  
 **sexyBeast** ~ You should be sleeping ~  
  
 **sexyBeauty** \+ so should you +

**sexyBeast** ~ I know. I can’t ~

**sexyBeauty** \+ me neither +

**sexyBeast** ~ should I call you? ~

**sexyBeauty** \+ no, I’m in the hallway. +

**sexyBeast** ~ Jae, what’s wrong? ~

Jae’s throat closed. God, even through text messages, Yunho knew when he was upset.

**sexyBeauty** \+ I miss you +

**sexyBeast** ~ I miss you, too ~

**sexyBeauty** \+ Let me come home.+

**sexyBeast** ~ If that’s what you want, I’ll be there first thing in the morning~

Jae smiled, and his screen went blurry as more tears fell.

**sexyBeauty** \+ Liar. +

**sexyBeast** ~ :) Yes. You need to do this. For you. ~

**sexyBeauty** \+ blah blah blah-don’t need the lecture again +

**sexyBeast** ~ but you wouldn’t mind a spanking again ~

**sexyBeauty** \+ fuck you, don’t talk about it when I want it so badly and you’re not here to do it +

**sexyBeast** ~ sorry ~

The phone went dark. A few moments later, it vibrated again.

**sexyBeast** ~ in your words, this sucks ass ~

Jae laughed.

**sexyBeauty** \+ kkkkkkkk yes, it does +

**sexyBeast** ~ you need to sleep ~  
 **sexyBeauty** \+ I can’t sleep alone +

“Jae?”

Jae’s head shot up, and he sighed in relief. Yoochun slid down the wall next to him and put his arm around his shoulders.

**sexyBeast** ~ you have Yoochun, don’t you? ~

**sexyBeauty** \+ funny. He just sat next to me +  
 **sexyBeauty** \+ he’s like you. he knows when I need him +

**sexyBeast** ~ talk to him and try to get some sleep, okay? You have orientation tomorrow ~

**sexyBeauty** \+ I know. I will. And you too. Even if you have to raid the stash of whiskey that you don’t think I know about +

**sexyBeast** ~ :) already working on it, baby ~

Jae bit his lip. He leaned into Yoochun’s hold.

**sexyBeauty** +Thank you. For everything.+

**sexyBeast** ~ You, too. ♥♥♥ ~

**sexyBeauty** +The hearts come out. Yep, you’re drunk +

**sexyBeast** ~ Tipsy, thank you. Now. Go to bed. ~

**sexyBeauty** \+ Okay. +

**sexyBeast** ~ I love you, you insufferable bratty, gorgeous, sexy teenager ♥♥♥♥♥~

**sexyBeauty** +I love you, old man.+

Jae waited for another text. Anything, but didn’t get one. He buried his head in Yoochun’s chest and cried. Yoochun held him for a few minutes and then said, “Come on. You need to sleep.”

“Sleep with me?”

“Well, duh,” Yoochun said with an eye roll. “Your bed or mine?”

“Mine. My roommate is a bit too religious. We should shock him first thing.”

“Sleeping naked, then?”

“Ooh, good idea.”

Yoochun stood up and then helped Jae stand. He kissed Jae’s lips and then rubbed the last bit of tears from his cheeks.

“You’re amazing, Jaejoong,” Yoochun said. “Really, you are. Yunho knows that. He’s always known that. And he may be hurting and you may be hurting, but this is a really good experience for you.”

“Shut up, Dad.”

Yoochun smirked. “Role playing? Okay. I don’t mind you calling me Daddy?”

Jae laughed and quickly quieted it.

“I can’t punish you like Yunho can, but I’ll try if it helps.”

Jae hugged Yoochun close. “Naw. Being my best friend and always knowing when I need you is more important than getting a belt to my ass. Not by much, but it is.”

Yoochun kissed his cheek. “Come on. Bed time.”

Very quietly they slipped back into Jae’s dorm room. Junsu snorted and rolled over in his sleep.

“I so want his ass,” Yoochun whispered as they undressed.

Jae nodded. “God, even I’d hit that.”

Yoochun muffled his laughter. “Ooh, but I walked in on Changmin in the bathroom. I think you’d want his cock in your ass more than you’d want to fuck Junsu.”

“Well, duh.”

“So you seduce my roommate, I seduce yours?”

“That’s a deal.”

“Do we make a bet on a prize for who does it first?”

“Why? You’re going to lose.”

Yoochun opened his mouth to protest and then smiled. “You’re right. My charisma will never last against your sluttiness.”

“Damn straight.”

They climbed into bed and Yoochun settled behind Jaejoong, spooning against him, arm over his stomach. It wasn’t the same as Yunho, but it was enough. Yoochun always knew exactly how to hold him anyway.

“I love you, Jae,” Yoochun whispered, sleepy, mumbled.

“You too, Chunnie,” Jae replied.

It was a lot easier to fall asleep after that.

~+~+~+~

Jaejoong woke up to an annoying beeping the next morning. He burrowed into the body next to him and whispered, “Ten more minutes, Yunnie.”

Yoochun chuckled. “Sorry, darling. Not my fault.”

Jae opened his eyes, blinked and looked up at Yoochun wondering why the hell he was in bed with Yoochun, and then everything rushed back to him and he frowned.

“I hate this.”

Yoochun kissed his lips. “I know.”

“Oh my—what are you—Jaejoong!”

Jae winced. “Roommate must be up,” he muttered and turned his head.

Junsu was sitting on his bed, hands over his eyes.

“God, calm down,” Jae snapped. “Haven’t you ever seen a naked guy before?”

Junsu peeked through his fingers, eeped and immediately shut them again.

“Good luck with him,” Jae whispered to Yoochun. And then he pushed Yoochun’s shoulders to the bed and straddled his waist. The blankets fell off of them, giving anyone looking a good shot of their morning erections. Yoochun’s hands settled on Jae’s hips.

“Thank you, Yoochun, darling. I couldn’t have slept without you.”

“What are best friends for?”

“Early morning blow jobs.”

“Right.”

“Oh my god, hyung! What are you—“

Jae smirked over at Junsu, who’s eyes were wide and mouth open. Jae slithered down Yoochun’s body. “Watch and learn, preacher boy,” Jae said and took Yoochun’s cock in his hand and licked the top of it.

Yoochun moaned and tangled his hands in his hair.

Junsu practically screamed and bolted up and into the bathroom.

“God, did you see his ass shake,” Yoochun asked.

Jae hummed in agreement and then took all of Yoochun down his throat. Yoochun cried out and thrust up. Jae gagged, not expecting it, and he bit Yoochun’s cock.

“Sorry,” Yoochun whispered, fingers tugging his hair.

Jae gripped Yoochun’s hips and held them to the bed.

“Guess I should make a show out of this,” Yoochun said with a grin.

Jae chuckled.

“Fuck, Jae,” Yoochun practically shouted and moaned really loud.

Singing suddenly started in the bathroom, slightly panicked and a bit out of tune, but Jae could tell that Junsu had a great voice.

He laughed around Yoochun’s cock and sped up, focused on getting Yoochun off as quickly as possible. It wasn’t too difficult. Jae was damn good at giving blowjobs.

“Fuck,” Yoochun gasped. “You are damn good at giving blowjobs.”

Jae smiled and looked up through his lashes at Yoochun.

“Shit,” Yoochun said.

Jae felt that warning pulse and shoved Yoochun down his throat. The next scream out of Yoochun’s mouth was not faked as he came. Jae hummed in approval as come filled his mouth. He crawled over Yoochun’s body, and then kissed his open mouth, sharing the come with him. Yoochun moaned, arms went around Jae’s back and pulled their bodies together.

“Is it safe to come out?” Junsu whispered.

They both laughed.

“We’re still naked,” Jae said.

“Can you … cover yourselves or something?” Junsu whispered.

Jae sighed, but Yoochun pulled the blanket over their bodies. “Okay,” Yoochun said. “Your virgin eyes are safe.”

“For now,” Jae muttered.

Junsu came into the room and didn’t look at either of them. His cheeks were bright red.

“Oh, Chunnie, look. He’s blushing.”

“Jae, don’t be an ass,” Yoochun said. “Not everyone in this world is as slutty as you are.”

“They only wish they were,” Jae shot back and kissed Yoochun’s lips.

Junsu made a little scared meep.

Jae rolled his eyes. “Better get used to it, Su-ah.”

“If I leave you alone with him, do you promise to be nice?” Yoochun said and sat up.

Jae smiled at Junsu, and the other immediately looked away. “Define nice. Because you know I can be nice.” Jae dropped the tone of his voice to sexy.

Yoochun shoved him. “Don’t scar the poor kid. God.” Yoochun moved to the end of the bed and pulled on his clothes, careful not to expose himself to Junsu.

“On second thought,” Yoochun said as he pulled on his sleep pants, “maybe you should come with me, Junsu.”

Jae pouted. “Chunnie.”

Yoochun leaned down and kissed him. “What? I should trust you to leave the kid alone? Not likely. I know you too well.”

Junsu sort of laughed, but it was embarrassed.

“Come with me, Junsu. Bring some clothes and you can use my shower. We’ll see if my roommate is awake and then we’ll all meet at the Commons for breakfast before orientation.”

“I’ve already swallowed my breakfast, thanks,” Jae said.

Junsu blushed again, but he was quickly slipping on sandals.

Yoochun gave Jae one more kiss, and then the two of them left, Junsu with clothes in his arms.

Jae smiled and lay back on the bed. He gave Yoochun a week to get the churchy kid in bed. Yoochun wasn’t obvious like Jae was, but he was no less effective. Jae sighed, stood up and took a fast shower. It wasn’t until he was walking down the hall that he realized he hadn’t gotten off this morning.

Eh. Yoochun would owe him.

He knocked on their door, and then tried the knob before someone could answer. He came face to face with the tallest piece of chocolate heaven he’d ever laid eyes on. His face was young, and Jae immediately pegged him as one of those young prodigy types. His hair was brown, just falling past his ears. His eyes were adorably dark, and, those lips. Jae could already see them wrapped around his cock. And god, didn’t Yoochun say this kid had a nice cock?

Jae gave him a full body scan, unable to stop the little smirk dancing on his lips.

“You must be Changmin,” Jae said with a grin.

Changmin smiled. “And you must be Jaejoong.” And then he bowed.

“Already bending over for me,” Jae said. “I like that.”

Changmin rolled his eyes as he stood back up. “Please. If anyone is going to bend over, it’s you. Now come on. We’re going to breakfast. Yoochun hyung and Junsu hyung already left.”

Jae was surprised by the remark, and then realized that Yoochun must have helped his case along. “Why not just stay here and let me bend over?”

“Because I’m straight.”

“For now. Isn’t college the place for experimentation?”

“Seems like you’ve already done yours.”

“A fair bit. Let me show you what I’ve learned.”

Changmin smirked. “Can’t a man eat breakfast first? And dude, please don’t make a ‘I’ll give you something to eat’ joke, alright? First thing you should know about me is that I’m a bitch when I need food.”

Jae smiled, hooked his arms with Changmin’s and said, “Then let’s get you some food. I wouldn’t want you to pass out before I orgasm.”

Part 2: [In the Other Dorm Room](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/75252.html#cutid1)

.


	2. In the Other Dorm Room

“Here you go, Yunho-shi,” the adorable man behind the counter said and handed Yunho his latte.

Yunho hated that he didn’t know his name, but even after coming to the café every day for the last two weeks just to see his smile, he still couldn’t quite bring himself to ask.

“Thank you.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“Of course.”

Yunho headed to the door, not wanting to leave, but feeling guilty for wanting to stay. Jaejoong was still on his mind. The constant thought. The constant presence when Yunho went home, hoping to see him in the living room or the kitchen.

But Jae had been firm. If he was going to college and have some fun with people his age, then Yunho had to as well. Yunho didn’t think the man behind the counter was even close to his age, but he was older than Jaejoong. That had to count for something, right?

He dallied by the trash bin, and then made a quick decision. Someone had left a newspaper on top of it. He grabbed it and settled down at a table, turned in a way that he could spy on the man, but still have it look like he was reading the paper.

The man was attractive, with well muscled arms, and a small waist. He took care of himself, that much Yunho could tell. His skin was almost flawless (but Yunho was biased and compared it to Jaejoong’s skin). He spoke with an accent that pegged him as from southern coast. It was really cute. He was wearing ripped up jeans and a tight black t-shirt (god, his arms‼!).

Their eyes met and Yunho fought the blush down.

_God, you are not a teenager. Damn it._

Yunho smiled, and the man smiled back, and then someone shouted a name and the man jumped and headed to the back, and Yunho kicked himself because he’d been too focused on that amazing smile to hear the name that had been called.

Yunho finished his coffee and wondered if he should wait for the man to reappear, but decided that was borderline stalker-ish. He’d just come back the next day.

~+~+~+~

This whole ‘convince Changmin to be gay’ thing was really just a distraction from his homework. It was only two weeks into the term and Jae already wanted to quit. He wouldn’t though. He had two classes with Changmin, Musical Theory (bull shit) and Choir. There was no way he was letting that kid beat him at anything.

Rhythm, harmony, structure, form.

With vocabulary words like that, the only thing Jaejoong could concentrate on was sex.

Jae swiveled the chair from the desk. It hit Yoochun’s bed and Jae fell onto the mattress with a groan.

Changmin looked up from his textbook, and smirked. “Giving up already?”

“God, when all I can think about is sexual theory, there’s no point in looking at a book.” Jae grabbed his crotch. He was half hard already.

Changmin scoffed and looked back at his book. “What are you talking about?”

“The words, Minnie, the words.”

“Don’t call me that,” he muttered, knowing Jae would anyway.

“Rhythm, steady, slow, quick. And harmony, fuck, voices and cries and moans blending. Music is like sex, Changmin”

“Is that why you like it so much?”

Jaejoong laughed. “Yes, and that’s why I’m so good at it.”

“Music or sex?”

“Both. You’d be better at music if you understood sex, Changmin.”

“I understand sex just fine, hyung, thank you.”

“No, you don’t. You understand what you’ve read.”

Changmin looked up. “I’m not a virgin, hyung.”

“Too bad. I’d have loved for you to lose yourself for the first time in my ass.” Jae sat up and his eyes glinted. “But I bet you’ve never had a cock in your ass. I’d love to see what kind of music I could pull from your throat with my dick in your ass.”

Jae watched Changmin’s face for any kind of response, but got none. Damn this kid was stubborn.

He flung himself on the bed with an exasperated breath. “Who am I kidding? You’d never let me do that.”

“What? You don’t think I’d bottom?” Changmin asked.

Jae smirked. “No.”

Changmin frowned. “Why? Do you think I’m too scared to have some guy shove his cock in my ass?”

“No. It’s just that if you were gay, everyone is going to think you’re a top. You’re tall, handsome, strong.”

“That’s kind of stereotypical, though, isn’t it? To automatically assume something like that? Putting a label on me.”

Jae shrugged. “Maybe, but it’s true.”

“What do they think about you?”

Jae arched a single eyebrow. “Are you kidding?”

Changmin smirked. “Right.”

“Minnie, baby, I am a cock whore. I love having a cock in my ass, and every gay guy I meet knows it. Or in my mouth. God, I need to give someone a blowjob. Can I give you a blow job?”

“Um, no.”

“Fine. Whatever. But if you change your mind, let me know, okay, because baby, if you’d let me, I would totally be your whore.”

The door suddenly opened, and Yoochun walked in, smiling when he saw Jaejoong sitting on his bed.

“God, thank god, Yoochun.” Jae reached over and grabbed him by the top of his jeans. He started undoing his pants.

“Jae-fuck-what the-“

“I need a cock in my throat and Minnie won’t let me suck on his.”

Yoochun hissed when Jae’s hand yanked his cock out of his pants. And then he smiled over at a slightly, wide-eyed Changmin. “You should let him,” Yoochun said, eyes shutting as Jae’s warm mouth covered his quickly hardening cock. “He’s fantastic at it.”

Changmin watched a bit longer at Yoochun’s cock disappearing in Jae’s mouth over and over. But then Jae opened his eyes, met his, and Changmin stood up

“I’m … um, I’m just going to leave you two alone,” he said and bolted from the room.

Yoochun laughed when the door slammed. “What was that about?”

“Talking gay talk. Told him I’d be a whore for his cock if he’d let me.”

“Think he will.”

Jae nodded. “Oh, yeah.”

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Because you always get what you want.”

“Are you saying you don’t want this?” Jae asked and shoved his mouth over Yoochun’s cock again.

Yoochun sighed, hands tangling in Jae’s hair. “I think you sing so well because of all the come that has absorbed into your vocal cords over the years.”

Jae burst out laughing, falling onto Yoochun’s bed, in a fit of laughter. “Chunnie, you ass!”

Yoochun crawled over him, cock hard and sticking out of his jeans. “Little Christian, religious, annoying boy still won’t let me touch him,” Yoochun said. “Maybe you should go for him for a little while, let me handle Changmin.” Yoochun unbuttoned Jae’s jeans.

“No way. I want sex this week; not in three months.”

Jae lifted up and let Yoochun pull his pants off. “Don’t you have class soon?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“So we better be quick.”

Yoochun stripped his clothes from his body.

Jae reached for his hips. “God, Yoochun, you’re gorgeous. Why do we even need anyone else?”

Yoochun smirked. “Because of the challenge.”

“Right.”

Yoochun grabbed lube from his dresser and then climbed back to the bed. He slicked his cock up and then his fingers. Jae grabbed behind his knees and spread himself open. Yoochun pushed two fingers into him at once.

“Gosh, I want Changmin to do this to me,” Jae moaned.

Yoochun laughed. “One day.”

“Or Junsu, fuck, their innocence is just begging to be stripped away.”

“Poor things,” Yoochun said. “With you in their sights, they don’t stand a chance.”

“I’m losing my touch though,” Jae said. “It’s been two weeks, and I haven’t even kissed Changmin yet.”

“He’ll cave. They always do.”

Jae smiled and then his eyes shut with a moan as Yoochun pushed his cock into Jae’s body. Yoochun settled over him, slowly thrusting, as they adjusted for comfort. Their lips pressed together, and then Yoochun moved, fast and quickly. They only had a few minutes.

Jae’s phone rang. ♪♪ I wanna fuck you like an animal ♪♪

Jae whimpered. “Grab it, babe. It’s Yunho.”

Yoochun sighed, but reached over the edge of the bed and grabbed Jae’s jeans and took the phone from his pocket.

“Hello,” Yoochun said.

_“Yoochun? What’s up?”_

“Fucking Jaejoong at the moment.”

_“Really? God, I hate you.”_

Yoochun laughed. “Hang on, hyung.” Yoochun messed with the picture settings on the phone, and then took a picture of his cock half buried in Jae’s body and sent it to Yunho. And then he handed the phone to Jaejoong.

“Yunnie?” Jae said.

_“Fuck. Jae.”_

Yoochun fucked him harder.

Jae moaned. “Our roommates are still stubbornly straight.”

_“And you get to fuck each other instead? You poor things.”_

“Shut up. Changmin is hot. He’s seventeen though, too old for you.”

_“Fuck off.”_

“So what’s up?”

_“You want to chat while Yoochun fucks you?”_

“Yes. Not as good as having you with us, but I’ll make due and put you on speaker.”

Jae did, despite Yunho’s sudden protests, and he set the phone on his stomach, and started stroking his cock.

“You’re going to come all over your phone,” Yoochun said.

_“This is torture for me, Jaejoong, listening to you two pant and moan.”_

“Then hang up,” Jae said.

Yunho chuckled. _“I’d rather straddle your face and fuck your throat.”_

Jae whimpered. “Please, please. Come and visit. I miss your body.”

_“Is that all?”_

“At this moment, yes. I love it when you and Yoochun are both fucking me at once.”

_“With your hands tied above your head.”_

It made Jaejoong whimper.

_“A gag in your mouth.”_

“Fuck,” Yoochun said, “Stroke faster. I don’t have time, remember?”

Jae moaned as he sped up his hand, in time to Yoochun’s thrusts. His thoughts danced from Yoochun to Changmin, but settled on Yunho, the way he looked above him, below him, skin sweaty, muscles tight. He felt tears well in his eyes, and tried to shut them out, but only managed to let them fall down his face. He came with a cry that was more heartache than pleasure.

Harsh breath landed on his cheek.

“Are you alright?”

Jae shook his head.

“Do you want me to ditch class?”

“No. You need to go. Did I come on my phone?”

“No. I moved it.” Yoochun kissed the tear tracks on his face. “Love you.”

“Love you,” Jae said and his voice hitched.

_”You two pass out on me?”_

Yoochun smiled. He lifted himself up and away from Jaejoong. His cock slipped from Jae’s hole, white with come. Jae had no idea when Yoochun had come. Yoochun wiped himself clean with a shirt.

“Chunnie, that’s Changmin’s shirt.”

Yoochun glared. “If he doesn’t want me to use his clothes to wipe off my come, then he can damn well learn to pick up after himself.”

Yoochun tossed the shirt to Jaejoong. Jae cleaned himself up and then curled up under Yoochun’s blankets, his phone by his ear.

Yunho was panting.

“Are you jerking off?” Jae asked.

_“After that little show, yes, I am.”_

“Hmm, god, I love watching you stroke yourself. Your hand moving over the skin and spreading precome over the head of your cock. The best though, is when I’m tied up, and you won’t let me suck on you. All I can think about is having your cock in my mouth.”

_”Fuck.”_

“Licking at the head and wrapping my tongue around the base before taking you down.”

_”Jae, god, please._

Jae heard the hitch in his voice, the change of breathing, and knew Yunho was almost done. “Feeling the press of you cock on the back of my throat. But instead of letting me suck on you, you just run the tip over my lips, covering them with precome and still jerking until you order me to open my mouth. Come on my face, Yunho, let me taste you, please.”

_”Jae. Fuck._

There was a whoosh of breath, a moan and then silence.

Jae’s phone beeped with a picture message. He put the phone on speaker and then went to his inbox. The picture loaded, and Jae groaned. Yunho’s body, his cock hard. Covered in come.

_”I want you to lick me clean._

“God, I want me to lick you clean, too.”

Yoochun was suddenly there, looking at the picture. “Gorgeous, Yunho hyung.”

_”So are you two.”_

Yoochun kissed Jaejoong. “I have to go. I’m going to be late for class. You’ll be okay?”

“Yeah. I love you, Chunnie.”

“Love you, Joongie.”

_”Love you both.”_

Yoochun left the room. Jae snuggled deeper into the blankets, listening to Yunho breathe.

_”Do you have class today?”_

“In a little while.”

_”You sound tired.”_

“Orgasm sleepiness.”

_“Ah. I’ll let you sleep then. Call me after your nap.”_

“M’kay.”

_“I love you, Jae.”_

“Love you, Yunnie. Come visit me soon.”

_"I will."_

~+~+~+~

Yunho hung up the phone.

Coward. That’s what he was.

Then again, it wasn’t really his fault that the conversation turned the way it had. He meant to tell Jaejoong about Donghae.

But Yunho had heard the anguish in Jae’s moans when he came. He didn’t want to add to it. Telling Jaejoong about another man would definitely do that.

Yunho sighed and sat up. He needed a shower before his date with Donghae.


	3. moving forward

“Hyung,” Changmin whispered as the teacher droned on at the front of the class.

Jae blinked and looked at him.

“You okay?”

“No. Let me borrow your notes later?”

Changmin nodded.

Jae sighed and put his head on the table. His phone was in his hand, but under the table. The cursor poised over Yunho’s name. Every time the screen went dark, Jae touched it again to see Yunho’s name.

God, what the hell? He’d talked to Yunho two hours ago, had fucking phone sex with him, and here he was, almost crying, because he didn’t answer a text message?

Okay, so three text messages, but still. It was ridiculous. The phone was hastily shoved into his pocket. But he kept his head on the table, cheek pressed against one arm, face toward Changmin. What Jaejoong needed was something to keep his mind off Yunho for awhile. A distraction from the possibilities running through his mind as to why Yunho wasn’t answering his phone. Was he sleeping? Was he in the shower? Was he dead? Was he with someone else? God, Jaejoong hoped he was dead instead of with someone else. He hated the thought of Yunho being with someone else.

_And you want to be fucked by the kid next to you? How is that fair?_

Jae sighed again. It wasn’t fair, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

Changmin shifted, and Jae realized he’d been staring.

A slow smirk spread across his face.

_Well, hello distraction._

Jae faked a sigh and shifted, sliding a bit closer to Changmin’s chair. He turned his face away, so his forehead rested on his wrist. After a moment, he did it again, fighting a smile when their legs touched. Changmin shifted a bit, but didn’t pause in scribbling his notes.

Jae thought for a moment of being subtle and then almost laughed. When was he ever subtle?

And in the classroom, there wasn’t much that Changmin could do to stop him without causing a scene.

Jae put his hand on Changmin’s knee.

Changmin’s knee jerked, and he glanced at Jaejoong.

Jae gave him a wicked grin.

“Hyung,” Changmin whispered, voice low.

Jae shivered. “Is that what your sex voice sounds like?” he asked and gripped Changmin’s knee.

“Stop, please.”

Jae slid his hand up Changmin’s thigh.

“I’m about two seconds away from jamming my pen in your hand,” Changmin said.

Jae stopped his hand, but didn’t remove it. “Take notes.”

“Take your own, fucker.”

A couple students turned to look at their whispering.

Changmin shifted again and went back to the lecture. Jae put his cheek in his hand, elbow on the table and stared at Changmin. He kept his hand on Changmin’s leg, fingers flexing the stiff muscle. The only sign that Changmin gave was a slight tinge of pink in his cheeks.

“I’m sure you heard this all the time back home, Minnie, but you are incredibly attractive.”

“And straight.”

Jae grinned. “I won’t hold that against you.”

“You mean you won’t let that stop you.”

“That, too.”

Changmin snorted, but he also smiled.

“You can’t knock it until you try it.”

Changmin looked at him, once again aware of the stares they were getting. “I’m an impressionable teenager. Don’t you feel guilty for trying to corrupt me?”

Jae laughed, he couldn’t help it. He quickly stifled it as the teacher lost focus, and he buried his head in his arms. Changmin went back to taking notes and Jae watched him. He put his hand on Changmin’s thigh again. Maybe an inch higher than it was before.

And Changmin didn’t tell him to move it.

~+~+~+~

Knowing full well that Jaejoong was in class, Yoochun stopped in front of his dorm room and knocked.

“Come in.”

He opened the door and stuck his head in. “Is Jaejoong here?”

“Nope. He’s in class. You should know that.”

“Well, he wasn’t feeling well earlier, so I thought maybe he skipped.” Yoochun came into the room and sat on Jaejoong’s bed. Junsu did not turn to look at him. “So what are you doing?”

“Um … homework? Probably something you should be doing.”

“I’ll do it later. I’m too fucking horny to concentrate, and jerking off isn’t helping.”

Junsu scoffed and his cheeks went pink.

“Oh god. You haven’t even masturbated have you?” Yoochun asked, trying not to laugh. God, this kid was a piece of work.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it is not right to submit to your body’s pleasures. Only the righteous are strong enough to abstain.”

“Right.” Yoochun pondered his back for a moment. “So what’s with the whole religion thing, anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean … you obviously believe in this shit, but why?”

Junsu turned to face him. “What do you mean why? I believe it because it’s true.”

“Says who?”

“Says everyone.”

“I don’t say. I think it’s bullshit. Jae thinks it’s bullshit.”

“Well, excuse me for not taking your blasphemous opinions into account.” He spun back around.

Yoochun chuckled. “See. This is your problem. You can’t call my opinion blasphemous. It’s what I believe. And because I believe it, it’s not wrong. I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong. You can believe in what you want.”

“Well, you are wrong. And God will judge you after you die.”

“Better God than you. You have no right to tell me that what I think is right and wrong.”

“I think you’re wrong.”

“And that’s fine. You can think I’m wrong just like I think you’re wrong. But if for one moment you think you’re better than me, or you think I’m wrong because of what I do or don’t believe in, well, then what’s the point of trying to be your friend?”

Junsu didn’t reply.

“Fine. Fuck it. Fuck you.” And Yoochun stood up and left the room. Now he was horny and frustrated and pissed off. He went to his room, flung himself on his bed and fumed.

Who the fuck did that kid think he was? The need to fuck Junsu now was less about desire, and more about proving the asshole wrong. Yoochun would show him how much fucking pleasure the perfect, pure boy could have. It felt weird, to think of someone as a conquest like this, but Yoochun figured it was the way Jaejoong thought of most people. And Yoochun loved the thrill of it, because Junsu would cave.

The door opened and let in a laughing Jaejoong and Changmin.

Jae took one look at him and said, “What is wrong with you?”

“I’m fucking horny and pissed off and I swear I’m going to kill Mister Pious Preacher Kid.”

“What happened?”

“Later. Let me fuck you.”

“Ooh, angry sex. I am not going to say no to that.” Jae started taking off his clothes, Yoochun quick to follow.

“Um,” Changmin said.

“Stay and watch, Minnie,” Jae said and winked at him.

As soon as Jae was naked, Yoochun shoved him on the bed. Jae went to his hands and knees and immediately, two slick fingers pressed into his hole. Jae was hard in an instant.

“Oh, fuck,” Jae said, back arching.

Yoochun was harsh, rough, his barely lubed fingers spreading Jae open, but Jae didn’t need that much prep. It’s not like Yoochun hadn’t been slamming into him a few hours before.

“Now, Chunnie, now.”

Yoochun growled, removed his fingers and pushed his cock into Jae, halfway, before pulling out and slamming it back in.

Jae screamed, pushing back into his thrusts.

Yoochun grabbed Jae by the hair and yanked his head up, pulling a needy whimper from his throat.

“Stroke yourself,” Yoochun said. “If I come before you, I’m going to be even more pissed off.”

Jae didn’t need to be told twice. He wrapped his fingers around his cock and stroked. He spent all of class teasing Changmin so he was more than horny, although he’d much rather have Changmin doing this to him.

Speaking of which …

Jae pried his eyes open, searching for the younger kid in the room.

He was at his desk, eyes wide. Jae wasn’t sure if he was breathing. But god, it was hot that he was watching.

“Stupid, fucking, religious, fucking, hot, ass, fuck,” Yoochun muttered.

It made Jae laugh. He suddenly pushed to his knees, stopping Yoochun’s thrusts. Yoochun protested. Jae chuckled and wrapped his hand around Yoochun’s neck. He started riding him slowly, still stroking his own cock. Their lips met, and Yoochun transferred his irritation there.

“You feel good, Yoochun. You always feel good,” Jae said and moaned.

He could hear Changmin breathing, panting almost, and he wanted to see if the kid was jerking off. Jae shut his eyes, imaging Changmin inside him, imagining Changmin’s breath against his skin. His orgasm coiled through him and he sped his hand up, wanting to come with Changmin’s name on his lips.

“Fuck,” Jae whispered, “harder, Chunnie.”

Yoochun growled. He started shaking, and Jae knew he was close.

Yoochun pulled his hair again, and Jae hissed as his orgasm reached it peak. He bit his lip to keep from screaming Changmin’s name as come arched over his hand and onto Yoochun’s bed. Yoochun whimpered and shuddered and filled Jae’s body.

Their lips met again as their breathing steadied.

“Fuck.” A different voice said and it made them both jump.

Yoochun looked over his shoulder. “Oh, hey Min. Enjoy the show?”

Changmin shook his head. “Damn,” he said with a grin.

Jae smiled and lowered Yoochun to the bed. “Sexy, isn’t he?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Yoochun said and ran his hands over Jae’s abs.

Jae crawled over him, knowing he was giving Changmin a shot of his ass dripping with come. He kissed Yoochun for a moment, and then pulled away. “I am going to go take a shower,” he said, and then he smirked at Changmin. “Unless you want to go first and take care of that hard on in your pants?”

Changmin shook his head.

“You want me to take care of it,” Jae asked. “Blow job, if you want.”

Changmin swallowed. “Um, … I’m just … going to … yeah.” He stood up and went to the bathroom.

Jae’s mouth watered at the delicious sight of his cock pressed tightly in his jeans. He turned wide eyes to Yoochun as the bathroom door slammed.

“Told you his cock was amazing,” Yoochun said.

“So what happened with Junsu?” Jae asked.

Yoochun made a face, and told Jaejoong about their chat. “I think I’m done doing this the nice way,” he said. “I’m going to get him drunk or something.”

Jae shook his head. “He’ll say you raped him.”

“I know. Help me out?”

“Oh, baby, I thought you’d never ask.”

~+~+~+~

Yunho felt his phone vibrate and ignored it. He hated to do it, but he was not going to be on his phone while he was on a date, even if it was Jaejoong. Especially if it was Jaejoong.

Donghae sat across from him. They’d just finished lunch and were sitting in a tiny café. The table was too small, and Yunho’s long legs kept bumping with Donghae’s, but Donghae didn’t seem to care. He was in a nice pair of khakis today, a bright green button up shirt and a light gray jacket that Yunho had already imagined himself pulling off.

But before he could do that, he had to stop thinking about Jaejoong. Yeah, good luck with that.

“Hey. You spaced out,” Donghae said with his adorable accent. He was from a tiny fishing village outside of Mokpo. He’d shown Yunho pictures and if this went beyond four or five dates, Yunho wanted to visit.

“Sorry,” Yunho said with a smile. “Thinking.”

“That was a ‘comparing this to something else’ face.”

Donghae was incredibly blunt, like Jaejoong, but Yunho loved it.

“Yeah, sorry. Like I said, I just got out of a long relationship.”

“That’s always hard.”

“But sometimes it’s necessary. I don’t regret it. The relationship, or the leaving.”

“Any other secrets that may make me hate you?” Donghae asked with a smile.

Yunho grinned back. “I was married for twelve years.”

Donghae’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

“Yeah. It was a good marriage, up until the last month, and I found out she had been cheating on me for most of it.”

“When did you divorce?”

“Two years ago.”

Donghae’s grinned. “And? Two year relationship?”

“Jaejoong is the only thing that kept me sane afterward.”

“Why did you two break up?”

_Are we even broken up? How can we be broken up when we just had phone sex no more than three hours ago?_

“We wanted different things out of life,” is what Yunho settled with, and then asked about Donghae’s life. He didn’t want to talk about Jaejoong on his first real date in almost fifteen years.


	4. moving backward

Yunho called at almost eight.

Jae stared at the display and pouted. He’d been waiting all day, and now he didn’t want to answer it.

But that was the petulant teenager in him. He sighed.

“Hello?” he said, maybe a bit bitchier than he wanted.

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t call.”

“Well, I just did.”

“I know … but …”

“Jaejoong.”

Jae made a face at the voice, but Yunho was right. “Sorry, Yunnie. You didn’t answer my texts.”

“Well, I just got home.”

“From?”

“A date.”

Jae sat up and knocked his book to the floor. Both Yoochun and Changmin jerked in surprise. “With who?” Jae demanded, the bitchiness back before he can stop it.

“Lee Donghae.”

Jae’s mind was blank. It felt like his heart was being torn out. Yep, he wished Yunho had been dead.

_You were eating off of Changmin’s chopsticks at dinner, you hypocrite. You were practically fucking your mouth with them while Changmin watched you._

“Jae?”

“Sorry. I’m not sure I’m okay with that, but I also know that this is what we agreed on, but god, Yunho, I want to stab that guy’s eyes out with a fork and take you to bed and claim you as mine.”

Yunho chuckled. “Yeah. I know. I feel the same way as you gush about your conquest of Changmin. How is that going?”

Jae’s gaze landed on Changmin. Both he and Yoochun were still looking at him.

“It’s going well. Almost done actually.”

“I guess that’s good.”

“Yeah. How was your date?”

Yoochun choked. “He went on a date? Fuck, with who?”

“Shut up, Yoochun,” Jae snapped.

“It was good,” Yunho said. “We went to lunch and then a movie, and then had a couple drinks. And before you ask, no, I did not fuck him. Not everyone in this world is a slut.”

Jaejoong scoffed. “Fuck you.”

“I was kidding, Jaejoong. Actually, I spent most of the date thinking about you and how you were going to kill me when you found out that I went on a date.”

“Why would I kill you?” Jae asked as red burned behind his eyelids. “I’ve been telling you how I’ve been trying to convince Changmin to fuck me—”

Changmin snorted.

“—how is this different?”

He could almost hear Yunho’s smile. “You’re mad.”

Jae took a deep breath and felt tears well in his eyes. Damn it, he was not going to cry. “I’m not mad. I’m fucking pissed because this is all your fault and I hate it, and I don’t want to be here and I want to be home with you, and so yeah, I’m mad, and if you tell me I’m acting like I’m sixteen again, I’m going to be even more upset.”

Yunho sighed. “I’m sorry, Jae. I am. I was going to tell you when I called earlier but you and Yoochun were in the middle of fucking, and how am I supposed to stop that and be like, Hey, Jaejoong. I’m going on a date.”

“Do you like him?” Jae whispered.

“I’m going out with him again on Saturday.”

Jae swallowed around a lump in his throat. “Okay.”

“Is Yoochun there?”

“Yes.”

“Can I talk to him, please?”

Jae silently held out the phone to Yoochun. He stared, not really seeing anything, and then jerked in surprise when Changmin sat next to him.

“You going to tell me what’s going on?” he whispered. “Or do I have to keep guessing?”

Jae swallowed. “Guessing.”

“So this is the part when I hug you, right? Because … yeah.”

Jae laughed. “Shut up, Minnie.” He curled up against Changmin’s side, and very awkwardly Changmin put his arms around Jae’s shoulder. It wasn’t nearly as nice as when Yoochun held him, because he and Yoochun just fit together. Nor was it the same as when Yunho held him. The best part was Changmin’s racing heart and gasping breath.

“Is Yunho your boyfriend?” Changmin asked. “Or is he like Yoochun? Just a close friend who you take from when needed?”

Jae didn’t answer, because he didn’t know. Three weeks ago, Yunho was his boyfriend.

“Jae.” Yoochun held out the phone to him.

Jae shook his head and hid his face in Changmin’s chest. If he talked to Yunho again, he was either going to cry or say something he was going to regret or both. He heard Yoochun say goodbye to Yunho, and then Yoochun’s arms were around him, and Jae left Changmin and settled comfortably in Yoochun’s body. Changmin didn’t move though, their legs still pressed together.

“This is stupid, Yoochun. Why did we ever agree to this?” Jae asked.

“Because you need to go to college.”

“So? That doesn’t mean I need to fuck everyone my age in college while he fucks everyone his aged named Donghae.”

“He says Donghae is twenty six.”

Jae scoffed. “Way to date people your own age, Yunho. Good job.”

Yoochun chuckled. “Jae, you really have to be smart about this, okay? Yunho will drop this guy tomorrow if he feels like you’re upset, and you know it. It isn’t fair if you get to sample the pleasures of college and he can’t do the same.”

Jae looked at Changmin. God, he wanted him, wanted him so badly, but at what loss? Yoochun was right. If Jae said it, Yunho would do it. But Jae remembered all those lectures on how Jae needed to find balance in his life, normalcy and true love and all this other bullshit. But Yunho had a point.

Jae pushed away from both of them. “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and it feels like he’s pulling my heart out and stepping on it.”

“It’s not like you two have been exclusive, you know.” Yoochun gave him a self-satisfied smirk.

“You don’t count.”

Yoochun clutched his heart. “You wound me.”

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

“Do I get to know what you mean?” Changmin asked.

They both looked at him, and then Jae stood up. “No. I’m going to go to bed or something.”

He left the room without looking at either of them.

Yoochun sighed.

“So is Yunho his boyfriend?” Changmin asked, not quite masking the hurt in his voice.

Yoochun smiled. “No, Min. It’s complicated. Yunho is more like me with Jaejoong, but--God, I don’t know what to say without Jae’s permission. Jae likes you. The thing with Yunho is a completely separate thing for all of us.”

“I’m not sure I agree with that.”

“If you like Jaejoong, then you’re going to have to. Like I said, Yunho is like me. Just comes with the package that is known as the drama surrounding one Kim Jaejoong.”

“Jae likes me?”

Yoochun laughed. “Yes, Minnie, he does. If he didn’t, he would have already taken what he wanted from you and moved on to the next conquest.”  
  
~+~+~+~

Jae slammed the door of his dorm room. He ignored Junsu’s admonishment and landed face down on his bed and let himself cry.

“Jaejoong?”

“Shut up, you bigoted asshole. I don’t want to talk to you.”

Junsu inhaled sharply. “I’m-“

“Yoochun told me what you said to him, so just do us all a favor and fuck off,” Jae said, unable to stop his mouth from moving. It wasn’t Junsu’s fault he was upset, but he was definitely a good target. “What the hell makes you so much better than me anyway? You have no idea what Yoochun and I have been through, what my fucking life was like since I was eleven? Did you know that I was molested when I was twelve? I learned at a young age that I could use my body to get what I wanted and damn it, it works. You have religion, I have sex. And don’t you fucking say that yours doesn’t hurt people. You hurt Yoochun with what you said, all because you’re an ignorant mama’s boy who has no idea what the real world it like. People are sick and twisted, and they will take advantage of a situation and just when you think you’re in control, they pull the rug out from under you and go on a date with some stupid asshole named Lee Donghae who is twenty six, really too young for him, but if twenty six is too young for him, then how are you old enough and how can you even compare to someone that is older and god damn it!”

Jae curled up with his pillow, his Yunho smelling pillow that didn’t really smell like Yunho anymore.

“I’m sorry for what I said to Yoochun,” Junsu whispered.

Jae scoffed. “Not me you should be apologizing to, dumb ass.”

“I know … but … but what if he won’t talk to me?”

“Then I won’t blame him.”

“I … I like Yoochun. I like his songs and his voice and he’s really talented, but I … can’t agree with what you two do.”

“You don’t have to agree with it. I don’t agree with your God or your religion, but that doesn’t mean I hate you. But it’s like I told Changmin. Don’t knock it until you try it.”

“So you’re corrupting Changmin?”

Jae smirked, tears forgotten. “I’m showing him the light.”

Junsu rolled his eyes.

“Go apologize. He’s in his room. He might slam the door in your face, but he’ll also recognize the effort.”

Junsu nodded. As soon as he was out the door, Jae sent Yoochun a text.

 **sexyBeauty** \+ Junsu is coming to apologize. Be nice.+

 **sexyPianoMan** = great =

Only a minute later, before Jaejoong could really start wallowing in his anger, there was a soft knock on his door and Changmin poked his head in. “Can I come in? Yoochun and Junsu are talking.”

“Sure.”

Changmin sat down on his bed, smiling when Jae shifted and put his head in his lap. He ran fingers through Jae’s burgundy hair, and Jae smiled, eyes falling shut.

“Don’t you think I deserve to know what’s going on?” Changmin asked.

Jae stiffened, and then said, “I don’t know. Is there a reason why you should know?”

“I think there is,” Changmin replied.

“And what reason is that?”

Jae jerked in surprise when lips pressed against his. It was only a moment and he scrambled to sit up and look at Changmin. Changmin avoided his gaze, eyes down, another pink tinge on his lips. Jae ended up on his hands and knees next to Changmin.

“Did you just kiss me?” he asked.

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On if you’re going to tell me what’s going on. If you are, then yes I kissed you, and if you aren’t, then no, I didn’t.”

Jae smirked and shuffled forward. “I’ll tell you if you kiss me again.”

Changmin lifted his head and leaned back because of how close Jaejoong was. Jae waited, eyes on Changmin’s lips. Jae moaned softly when a pink tongue darted out and licked his lower lip.

“I like you, hyung,” Changmin whispered, “but Yoochun says you’re going to break my heart. So I want to know why.”

Jae nodded. He leaned forward, capturing Changmin’s lips in his. Changmin meeped a little, and then settled into the kiss, the soft press of lips over and over. Jae’s eyes shut, and he realized just how long it had been since he kissed someone who wasn’t Yoochun or Yunho. Someone new. Different lips that were rough and chapped. Shaking hands settling into his hair.

Jae pulled away and grinned at Changmin’s flushed face. “Not bad, maknae.”

Changmin scowled. “Don’t call me that.”

“Aren’t you?”

“So. I’m only a year younger, but I’m a lot smarter.”

“Straight, too, if I recall correctly.”

And his cheeks went pinker.

“Lay down.”

“Hyung!”

“Just do it, you fool,” Jae said and pushed Changmin’s shoulders to the bed. Jae settled next to him, curled into his side, fingers playing with his shirt.

“Yunho is my foster father.”

“What?”

“Hey, don’t interrupt. Questions after. Okay?”

“Sorry.”

Jae told him the shortened version of his parents dying after their car was hit by a dump truck and the shortened version of his teenage years in the foster house. He did give a detailed account of his original seduction of Yunho and then a brief shpiel of the last two years.

Changmin had grown tenser as the story went on, but Jaejoong kept talking and didn’t let him move away.

After it was done, Changmin was quiet.

Jae propped up on and elbow and looked down at him. “Any questions?”

Changmin shook his head.

“Are you going to run away?”

“Are you going to let me?” Changmin asked, motioning to the hand that Jae had clutched in his shirt and the leg intertwined with his.

Jae moved. “Yes.”

Changmin sat on the edge of the bed. Before he could say anything, there was yelling in the hallway.

Jae groaned. “Perfect timing, asshole,” he muttered as he recognized Yoochun’s voice.

They both stood up to see what was going on.

Junsu and Yoochun were screaming at each other.

“Fine, if you’re going to be a fucking bastard about it, then Jae and I won’t kiss in front of you anymore.”

“Good!”

“But then you can’t throw your religious shit at us! We do not need to be saved.”

“Yes, you do!”

Jae sighed and leaned into Changmin’s shoulder. “And here I thought Junsu was going to be cool.”

Yoochun looked over at them, and so did Junsu. He threw his hands in the air, “Great! Now you’ve gone and led Changmin astray.”

All three of them opened their mouths to protest, but the unmistakable sound of their RA broke in. “What’s going on? Why are you disrupting everyone on this floor?”

Heechul was beyond pretty (Jae knew he was prettier). But when he was pissed, you knew it. His red hair was long, almost to his shoulders. It was currently pulled back in a headband. He wore red plaid pajama bottoms and bright pink shirt with a cartoon character on it.

Both Junsu and Yoochun started talking to him and shouting and pointing fingers at each other at the same time.

Heechul held up his hands and they both shut up. “Sounds like a problem with respect. Yoochun, respect Junsu’s right to have religion, preferably without trying to convince him he’s gay.”

Junsu smirked in victory, but Heechul wasn’t done.

“Junsu, have respect for Yoochun’s right to not have religion and enjoy getting a cock shoved up his ass. It’s not your duty to save him. And that’s the end of it. If I hear about this again, you’ll both get warnings. You aren’t roommates, so leave off, okay? And Jaejoong, Yoochun, keep your sex and stuff to Yoochun’s room since Changmin doesn’t seem to mind.”

Junsu looked away, arms crossed.

“Really. Don’t let me hear about this again from either of you. Yoochun,” Heechul said and threw his arm around Yoochun’s shoulder. “Professor Lee says you already have some awesome songs. I want to hear them. I have a keyboard in my room.”

And just like that, Yoochun was led away.

Junsu stalked into their room and slammed the door, leaving Changmin and Jaejoong in the hallway.

“Guess we’ll take this to your room.”

Changmin swallowed. “Actually. I think I’ll go alone.”

Jae frowned.

“Just let me sleep on it, okay?” Changmin said, not meeting Jae’s eyes.

“Sure,” Jae whispered. He reached up and Changmin didn’t stop him as he cupped his cheek and placed a chaste kiss to his lips.

And for the first time in his life, Jae let someone he wanted walk away from him.


	5. different ways to worship

Yoochun wasn’t sure how he went from sitting at Heechul’s keyboard to spreading his legs on Heechul’s bed. Something about a hand on his shoulder, lips on his neck, a chair rolling across the floor and then a bed, but hell, he sure wasn’t complaining. Heechul knelt behind him, between his legs, hands cupping his bare ass, squeezing, spreading.

“I know you top with Jaejoong,” Heechul said, and Yoochun knew there was a smirk on his face, “but you don’t mind if we switch it up, do you?”

“Switching is my specialty,” Yoochun said, with an answering smirk over his shoulder.

Heechul chuckled. He laid his naked body over Yoochun’s, his cock nestling perfectly between the curves of his ass. Yoochun sighed in contentment, mewling when Heechul bit and sucked on his neck and shoulders. The bites got harder as Heechul continued down his back, pulling little cries of pleasurable pain from Yoochun’s throat. His hands gripped Yoochun’s ass again. At the first lick across his hole, Yoochun moaned and buried his face in his arms. Heechul teased him, dragging his tongue over his opening, followed by a well manicured fingernail, and then a tongue again. When he finally started prepping Yoochun with his fingers, Yoochun was an incoherent mess.

“Tell me about this mess with Junsu.”

Yoochun scoffed. Heechul said it so casually, like he didn’t have two fingers buried in Yoochun’s ass, like Yoochun was just there to file a complaint.

“Preacher kid,” Yoochun managed. “Arrogant, pissy.”

“With a nice ass.”

“Fuck yes.”

“And you are determined to show him the error of his ways.”

“Yes. Show him the blinding light of orgasm is brighter than the light of religion.”

Heechul laughed. After removing his fingers, he slapped Yoochun’s ass. “Hands and knees, horny bitch.”

Yoochun scoffed, but did as he was told. There was a crinkle of plastic that made Yoochun pause. God, he hadn’t used a condom in a long time, unnecessary when his bed partners were Jaejoong and Yunho. A bottle of lube snapped open and the fingers were back, warm and slick.

Yoochun lowered his head to his arms and moaned.

“Just don’t do anything else to Junsu that is going to be considered sexual harassment, okay?”

Yoochun made an agreeing noise and wiggled his ass.

Heechul’s cock prodded his whole and Yoochun pushed back, whimpering when the head of his cock forced its way into his tight body.

“Been awhile, huh?”

Yoochun grunted. “Like you said, I usually fuck Jaejoong.”

It took two more thrusts for Heechul’s body to press against Yoochun. He paused, asked Yoochun if he was alright and then started fucking him, steady, firm, when Yoochun said yes.

“God,” Yoochun said, voice hitching when the tip of Heechul’s cock slid against his prostate.

“Not my name, just my title.”

Yoochun moaned. “Such a fantastic god.”

“That I am.”

“And beautiful, and snarky and …” Yoochun stopped to moan, whimper when Heechul’s hand wrapped around his cock. His strokes matched the thrusts, and it was slow and Yoochun wanted it faster, harder, but Heechul seemed the type to do things his own way, so Yoochun relaxed and let his pleasure build.

“If you come on my bed I’m going to be fucking pissed,” Heechul said.

Yoochun chuckled, moaning as he thrust back onto Heechul’s cock. “Better let me turn over then.”

Heechul protested as Yoochun pulled away and flipped to his back.

“I hate looking at people when I fuck them,” Heechul said and crossed his arms.

Yoochun pulled his knees up, holding him with his hands. “Why? Because no one is as pretty as you are, and you hate looking at ugly?”

Heechul smirked. “How’d you guess?”

“I don’t want to look at you either, because you’re so pretty, it hurts.”

Heechul leaned over him, lips close. “Flatterer, and a liar.” His cock slipped back into Yoochun’s hole. “I guess you’re hot enough to look at.”

“Gee. Thanks.”

Heechul kissed him, speeding up, steady no longer his goal. Yoochun let go of one leg, wrapping it around Heechul’s hip. He stroked his cock with his free hand, whimpering as his orgasm built between them. It wasn’t much longer that he was shuddering and shaking into the kiss, and losing himself, covering his stomach in come. He felt Heechul smile against his lips, and the thrusts slowed. Heechul’s body was quivering, and while his movements continued to throw aftershocks along Yoochun’s skin, he shuddered, bit Yoochun’s lower lip, and groaned as he came.

Two deep breaths of recovering and Heechul pushed away from him. He pulled off the condom and got up.

“Don’t you fall asleep in my bed, bastard,” he said over his shoulder. “Come shower with me.”

“Yes, my lord,” Yoochun said, voice tired and sated.

Heechul smiled at him. “And obedient. You’re such a good disciple.”

“The best,” Yoochun said and finally rolled out of the bed and followed Heechul into his bathroom.

~+~+~+~

Jaejoong lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He wore his pajama bottoms and had brushed his teeth and made it look like he was going to bed, but he doubted he’d sleep.

Besides the three of them, Changmin was the only one who knew of their little threesome arrangement. It had been odd telling someone, telling someone practically everything about himself. Even the time before Yunho, when his foster father had threatened him with being tossed back into the foster house if he told anyone that he was fucking Jaejoong. Not that Jaejoong cared at the time. He let the man believe he had power over the quivering, scared act that Jaejoong had presented. The man was sloppy, and just like he knew would happen, the wife had caught them.

Of course, it was all his fault. It was always his fault.

“Jae-Jaejoong?” Junsu whispered.

“What?” he snapped.

“Were you really molested?”

Jae snorted. “What do you care?”

“Well, if you were, then it’s not your fault—“

Jae snorted again.

“—for how you are, and the Lord would forgive you if you stopped doing it.”

Jae sighed. “Can we not do this tonight, Junsu, please? I don’t believe in your lord or your god or in being forgiven. I’ve done enough stuff in my life that it’s going to take a lot more than just me no longer wanting a cock in my ass for your religion to bestow its forgiveness.”

“Everyone can be forgiven.”

“True. You’re forgiven for being a bigoted, ignorant, arrogant preacher kid, but only because you have a nice enough ass that I’m willing to look past your flaws.”

“Why do you think my beliefs are flaws?” Junsu asked.

Jae finally met his eyes. “I don’t. I think your methods are your flaws. Everyone has free choice, free will, agency. And everyone has the right to be how and who they are. When you speak against that right, then you are flawed, no matter what you believe. Now shut up before I feel like tying you to your bed and making you believe in my truth.”

Junsu took a quick breath, and Jae realized what he had said.

He sighed. “Fuck, Su, I’m not going to rape you. It was a fucking joke.”

“Excuse me for not thinking it was funny.”

Jae rolled on his side and ignored Junsu when he tried to say something else. Junsu got ready for bed, and then turned the light off. Jae sighed in relief and lay on his back again.

“Dear God-”

Jae groaned and muffled it quickly. Respect, Heechul had said, and if that meant he had to be silent while Junsu prayed then he would.

“I’m confused.”

_No kidding._

“I’m trying to spread your word, your love, but no one wants to hear it. Am I trying too hard? Or am I wrong?”

_Ding, ding, ding, give the kid a medal._

“I want to be friends and have friends, but Mother always said to be friends with those who are righteous. No one is righteous here, at least, not religious. It’s not like they’re bad guys. They’re nice and funny. Am I destined to be alone—”

Jae tried to ignore the sudden lump in his throat. How many times had he asked himself that question?

“—or can I be friends with them? It’d be easier if only they’d understand. You love them, I know it. But they don’t. I want them to feel that you love them, but they won’t listen to me, and now they’re all angry with me. Jaejoong and Yoochun say I’m arrogant, but I try not to be, am I falling into Satan’s prideful trap, thinking I am better than them?”

_Wow. Another medal._

“Please help me, guide me, so they won’t be mad anymore. And please help Jaejoong.”

Jae stopped breathing.

“I don’t have to know the details to know that he’s going through so much, too much, and even if he doesn’t believe in you, fill his heart with comfort, so he doesn’t have to suffer so much.”

Junsu started rattling off scriptures, and Jae stopped listening. He doubted anyone had ever prayed for him before. Yes, it was bullshit in his mind, but Junsu believed that there was someone up there to give Jae peace.

Long after Junsu climbed into bed, Jae lay awake. He was certain that the other wasn’t asleep yet. Very softly, he whispered, “Thank you.”

The only indication that Junsu heard him was a quick intake of breath, but for Jae that was enough.

~+~+~+~  
  
Jaejoong didn’t think that Yoochun would have had sex with Heechul until his best friend winced as he sat next to him in their Introduction to Composing class.

“Slut,” Jae said with a smile.

Yoochun grinned. “Disciple, actually. From now on, Heechul is my religion.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Sex all night long. I think I finally passed out at four this morning.”

Jae laughed, and then grew tense as Changmin sat next to Yoochun. Yesterday, he’d sat next to Jaejoong.

“Hey, Min,” Yoochun said, but Jae couldn’t even look at him. He turned away and bit his lower lip and stared at the table top.

Yoochun looked between the two of them and said, “Alright. Someone tell me what’s going on?”

Changmin remained silent, lips pressed together as he pulled out his notebook.

“I told him about Yunho,” Jae whispered.

“Ah. And?”

Changmin met his eyes for a moment and then Jaejoong’s and whispered, “And I’m thinking about it.”

“Guess that’s good enough, right Jaejoong?”

Jae stared hard at the side of Changmin’s face. “It’s more than I hoped for.”

Changmin’s cheeks turned pink.

Awkwardness fell over them as the teacher called class to order.

Jaejoong hadn’t slept much. He’d been awake most of the night, thinking of what Junsu had said in his prayer. Peace hadn’t come, but at least he knew more about why Junsu was acting the way he did. It’d been easier to greet him in the morning, and talk to him like he wasn’t a selfish, religious bastard.

The hard part was going to be convincing Yoochun.

Every time Junsu turned around, sneaking a glance at them from the front of the class, Yoochun scowled.

When class ended, Junsu was one of the first ones headed to the door, obviously avoiding the three of them, but Jae was quick and snagged his shirt at his elbow. Junsu stopped, eyes widening a bit, and then filling with dull panic when he met Yoochun’s eyes.

“Come and eat lunch with us later,” Jae said quickly.

“What?” Yoochun said.

Jae motioned with his hand to shut up. “Please?”

Junsu swallowed, and then nodded. “Okay. Commons?”

“Yeah.” Jae released him and Junsu bolted.

“What the fuck is that?” Yoochun demanded.

Jae smiled. “I’ll tell you on the way to class. Come on. Or we’ll be late.”


	6. different ways to cope

To put it nicely, lunch was awkward. Yoochun didn’t even show up and when Jae sent him a text asking where he was, Yoochun replied that he was worshiping his god.

Jae snorted.

“Where is he?” Changmin asked.

Jae showed him the text.

“‘Worshiping my god’,” Changmin read. “What does that mean?”

“He’s probably on his knees for Heechul.”

Junsu made a noise and Jae looked at him. “What you actually think Heechul took Yoochun to his room last night to talk about music?”

“Well, yeah. We are at a music school.”

“And music is discussed in class,” Jae said.

“I’m sure my parents aren’t going to be happy with the secondary education I’m getting at this place,” Changmin said.

“Are you happy?” Jae asked, biting his lip.

Changmin sighed and didn’t look up from his lunch.

“Problems?” Junsu asked.

“None that are your business, or that you’d understand,” Jae said.

Junsu frowned.

Changmin only ate half his lunch before getting up and leaving. That in itself was worrying. Changmin always finished his food.

Jae bit his lip and pushed his food away. “This is why you’re not honest with people, Junsu. It fucks everything up.”

“But if you aren’t honest, and a lie is found out, it’s even worse.”

Jae thought about that for a moment and then nodded, “Okay. So that’s true. Do you want this?” he asked and shoved his rice and kimchi over to Junsu.

“Sure. Thanks.”

Jae waited until Junsu finished eating and then led the way to the library to find Changmin. Jae learned the week before that when Changmin wanted some time to himself, he went to the library. And Jae made sure to never let him have that time to himself. Today though, Jae didn’t sit practically in Changmin’s lap, but sat across from him, ignored him and pulled out his books to study.

Being Friday, they only had two classes during the day. Yoochun would reprimand him for actually studying when they had all weekend, but getting lost in the history of ancient composers was better than thinking about what Changmin was thinking about.

~+~+~+~

Yoochun knocked on Heechul’s door. The door opened and the scowl on Heechul’s face turned to a smirk.

“Yoochun-shi, what can I do for you?”

“I’m a bit stressed, and I need a stress reliever.”

“Well, I’m sure we can figure something out,” Heechul said and turned around, leading the way into his room.

When the door shut, Heechul spun around and said, “Didn’t get enough of me last night, huh?”

“Nope. You’ve left me always wanting more.”

“You mentioned stress?”

“Jae has decided to be nice to Junsu.”

“And this bothers you, why?”

“I don’t know. The kid is an arrogant prick.”

“So is Jaejoong.”

“True.” Yoochun unbuttoned his jeans.

“Leave your clothes on.”

Yoochun looked up, hands stalled on his zipper.

“I’m more than just a cock for you to sit on, Yoochun. Talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk,” Yoochun snapped.

Heechul smirked and crossed his arms. “Well, do I look like I’m about to fuck you?”

Yoochun shook his head. “Whatever, man. I’ll go fuck myself with my fingers in my room if you’re not going to be helpful.” Yoochun turned around and slammed the door open. He stalked back to his room, slamming another door. He tossed his backpack onto his bed and then tore his clothes off.

He wasn’t really sure why he was so angry. But he felt betrayed, that Jae would try to be nice to this jerk that said bad things about them. Jae never put up with homophobia, and flaunted his sexuality in bigots’ faces. Why was this kid suddenly different?

He took a bottle of lube from their toy drawer and sat on his bed. The tension in his body was on full, needing release somehow. He leaned back on an elbow and stroked his cock with his other hand. His eyes shut with a moan, his head fell back. He fisted himself roughly for a few moments and then lay all the way back, feet planted, knees bent. He moved his other hand under his legs and teased his entrance with a slick finger. Groaning he pushed one finger in, speeding up his hand. One wasn’t enough, so he added a second finger, and then sighed. Fingers weren’t going to be enough. He played for a while longer, thinking if he wanted a vibrator or if he just wanted a dildo. He and Jaejoong had plenty to choose from.

Heechul’s voice permeated the vague pleasure surrounding his head. “The only problem with this picture is that your mouth isn’t full.”

Yoochun smirked, not even opening his eyes and said, “Then come and fill it up.”

The bed dipped, skin pressed against his and Yoochun moaned. Lips landed on his nipple and then his collar bone and neck. Heechul straddled his face. The soft head of a cock prodded his lips, smearing them with precome. Yoochun licked his lips, and the cock.

Heechul whispered, “Open wide, darling,” and forced his cock into Yoochun’s mouth. Yoochun gagged as it hit the back of his throat, and then he adjusted his head and relaxed his muscles and let Heechul fuck his face.

“I have a rule not to get too involved with someone,” Heechul said, “but god, I think I could make a habit of fucking your throat.”

Yoochun hummed around him.

“And coming on your face,” Heechul said, voice purring. “Want me to come on your face, darling?”

Yoochun whimpered and tried to take more of Heechul down his throat, but it was too difficult at this angle. Heechul stopped him and smiled. “Alright, alright.” He moved away. “Hands and knees, but don’t you fucking dare take those fingers out of your ass.”

Yoochun smiled and obeyed. While he was getting situated, his phone beeped, signaling a text message. Heechul snagged the phone from where it had fallen on the floor.

“Jae wants to know where you are.”

“Jae can kiss my ass.”

Heechul smirked again. Yoochun dropped his head to Heechul’s lap and took his cock back in his mouth. Heechul moaned, and buttons pressed on his phone.

“What are you doing?” Yoochun asked.

“Answering his text.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him you were worshiping your god.”

Yoochun leered and then licked Heechul’s chest. “May I continue?”

“By all means.”

~+~+~+~  
  
After dinner they headed back to their dorms. Jae couldn’t remember the last time he’d said so little throughout the day and not been gagged. But there was nothing to say, nothing to Junsu or to Changmin. He needed Yoochun desperately, so badly that he was speed walking to the dorms, running up the stairs two at a time. He had his hand on the doorknob to Yoochun and Changmin’s room and cursed when it was locked, and then cursed louder when he realized there was a school tie hanging from it.

“Fuck, Yoochun, I fucking need you,” Jae shouted, not caring that he was whining.

He heard a faint grunt from in the room and then a, “Busy. Come-fuck right there-back later, god Heechul, harder.”

Jae leaned his head on the door and sighed. He was too upset to cry, too confused to do more than force himself to his room. Ignoring Junsu and Changmin, he changed out of his school clothes and buried himself in his blanket with the no-longer-smells-like-Yunho pillow. He waited for Yoochun to come.

When someone sat on the bed, Jae knew it was Changmin, not Yoochun who he needed. A hand landed on his shoulder, and then after a few moments, a body curled around his. A tall body, shaking, and it made Jae even more uncomfortable and want Yoochun’s body even more.

So he did the only thing he knew how to do when he didn’t know what else to do.

He pressed against Changmin’s body, careful to keep his moan quiet.

Changmin inhaled sharply and his body froze, but he didn’t move away. His breathing increased. Jae kept his movements small, because he’d made a promise to Junsu not to do stuff like this in front of him anymore.

“Hyung,” Changmin said, voice quiet and pleading. His cock brushed against Jae’s ass. They both hissed.

“Jaejoong,” Junsu said in admonishment.

Jae laughed. “Sorry, Su.” He shoved Changmin away. “Not in front of the religious guy.”

“And why is he special? I’m a Buddhist.”

“Buddhists aren’t actively anti-homosexual, are they?” Jae asked.

“Well, no, but—”

“And Junsu is.”

“I’m not,” Junsu said quickly.

Changmin and Jaejoong scoffed as one.

Junsu had the grace to blush and then muttered, “Well, I’m trying not to be.”

“Then let me kiss him, right here, and you watch. No covering your eyes.”

Junsu winced.

“If I were a girl, you wouldn’t care,” Jae said.

“Not true. You should keep things like that behind closed doors.”

“Wow. How fucking sheltered were you growing up?” Jae asked.

“I—I wasn’t sheltered.”

Another mutual scoff.

Junsu glared at them. “Fine. Kiss.”

“You won’t look away,” Jae said.

“Why are you volunteering me for this?” Changmin demanded. “Who said I wanted to kiss you?”

“Little Changmin all nice and hard in your pants did.”

Changmin rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You were humping me.”

“Fine. Then if you won’t let me kiss you, then Junsu, let me kiss you.”

“No!”

Junsu looked ready to bolt as Jae moved to the edge of the bed.

“Oh come on. It’s just a fucking kiss. A kiss is nothing. It’s not like I’m asking you to suck on my cock or something.”  
Changmin grabbed Jae by the waist and kept him on the bed. “Stop it, Jaejoong.”

Jae turned his head and pressed his lips to Changmin’s. Changmin pushed him away. “You’re kind of a bitch,” Changmin said.

Jae smiled. “And to think, I’ve matured a lot in the last two years.”

“Oh my god, Junsu, can you imagine him worse than this?”

“No. It’s too scary.”

Jae pouted at Changmin, arms crossed. “Kiss me. Make me feel better.”

Changmin shook his head. “I have a feeling that I won’t be able to say no to you ever again.”

Jae smiled in victory. “No one ever can which is just how it should be.” He met Junsu’s eyes. “Don’t look away.”

“I said I wouldn’t. I don’t lie.”

Changmin still didn’t look convinced as Jaejoong leaned in to kiss him. “Do you really like me, hyung?” he whispered. “Or am I just a conquest?”

Jae sighed, lips so close. “I like you. If you were a conquest, I would have had you already and moved on to the next one.”

“That’s what Yoochun said.”

“Yoochun knows me best.”

“And Yunho?”

Jae shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Changmin thought about that for a moment and then nodded. He took Jae’s face in his hands and pressed their lips together. Jae clutched at his wrists as a desperate whine escaped his lips. He had thought that Changmin was never going to kiss him again.

Changmin’s hands slid down his neck, Jae put his hands at Changmin’s waist. He moaned as Changmin licked at Jae’s lips, pushing the kiss further, and Jae had to put his hand on the bed behind him to keep from being pressed down. He wanted that, god, he wanted Changmin on top of him, but he was still aware of Junsu’s breathing from across the room.

Reluctantly, Jae broke the kiss. He smiled at Changmin’s begging eyes, his lips red and shiny. He pecked those lips once and then turned to Junsu.

“You didn’t throw up,” Jae said.

Junsu’s cheeks were red, and he looked away.

“Well?” Jae demanded.

Junsu shrugged. “It was a kiss.”

“No, it was a fantastic kiss,” Jae said, wrapping his arms around Changmin’s neck. Changmin held him close, face buried in the crook of Jae’s neck. “I want another one. Junsu, can I have another one?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking me that?” Changmin said with a smile.

“I know what your answer is. Junsu’s the decider right now.”

“I guess it’s okay,” Junsu said. “Just keep it to kissing.”

Jae smiled brightly at him. “Thanks, Su-ah!”

Junsu turned around and went back to his homework.

As Changmin kissed Jae again, there was a knock on the door. Junsu got up and answered it.

“Hello,” Junsu said and bowed.

“I’m sorry to bother you but is—”

Jae pushed Changmin away and off him. “Yunho!” he shouted and flew off the bed, wrenching the door open. He noted Yunho’s smile, his jeans and button down shirt and then had his arms wrapped around his neck, holding him tightly and not caring that he was suddenly crying.


	7. physical drama

Yoochun panted, blinking his eyes against the blur of pleasure still zinging through him. Heechul’s face appeared in his vision.

“You still with me, little bitch?”

Yoochun nodded, moaning as Heechul shifted inside him. “Barely.”

A smirk. “Should give you more then. You want more?”

“Always.”

Yoochun moaned and his thighs tightened when two fingers pressed into his body along with Heechul’s cock.

“Is that enough?” Heechul asked as he pumped the fingers in and out of Yoochun.

“No, fuck, no.”

Something thicker than fingers pressed in next to Heechul’s cock.

“Oh fuck,” Yoochun said with a groan as the world around him swirled.

“Better?”

“Yes, fuck, yes.”

Heechul moved the vibrator in shallow thrusts, waiting until both his cock and the toy were deep inside Yoochun before flipping it on.

Yoochun practically screamed as the vibrations trailed along his skin.

“Definitely feels good,” Heechul muttered. He kept the toy still and started thrusting into Yoochun’s body. “Stroke your cock, darling.”

“I-fuck, don’t think I-fuck, can. Fuck!”

Heechul stopped until Yoochun whimpered and wrapped a shaking hand around his own cock.

“You don’t have enough come on or in your body,” Heechul whispered. “It needs more.”

“Give me more, fuck, please.”

“Thought you’d never ask.” Heechul slammed into him, using both the toy and his cock to stretch Yoochun’s body almost to its limits. Yoochun knew he was practically screaming with every thrust, but as he came closer and closer to yet another orgasm, he didn’t care.

“Fuck, Heechul. I’m …”

“Come all over your body,” Heechul whispered.

And he said it like Yoochun had a choice, and the thought was almost enough to stop it, but his orgasm crashed through him and he added to the mess on his stomach.

Heechul came shortly after, and in a bit more control of himself, only letting a ragged groan escape his mouth. After a moment of recovery, Heechul pulled the vibrator from Yoochun’s body and pressed it against his lips. Yoochun moaned as the vibrations traveled along his lips and throat as he licked the toy clean.

“Darling, that was—”

The door slammed open, and Changmin stalked in. He ignored the two naked men in the room and went right to his bed, curling up in a little ball. Yoochun and Heechul met each others’ eyes, and Yoochun shrugged.

A moment later there was a nervous cough and Junsu hovered in the doorway, cheeks bright red, and not looking at either of them.

“What’s up, Su?” Heechul asked.

“Someone named Yunho came over.”

Yoochun sat up quickly, wincing as Heechul slid out of him. “Yunho’s here ? Fuck, no way!”

Heechul frowned. “Who’s Yunho?”

“Practically Jaejoong’s other half,” Yoochun answered. He grabbed a towel and cleaned the come off his stomach.

Heechul shot a glance at Changmin’s shaking body. “And you’re running to him why?”

Yoochun smirked. “Because I get to share.” He pulled on a pair of sweat pants, and swooped in to kiss Heechul quickly. “Thank you, dearest god. Worshiping you is always a pleasure.”

Heechul laughed.

Yoochun left the room.

Heechul looked at Changmin again, and then at Junsu, still red, still by the door, still not looking at him. He stretched, smirking, and said, “You boys gay yet?”

~+~+~+~  
  
Yunho shut his eyes, arms around Jae’s waist and held him close, three weeks of wanting his body manifesting in his pants. He took a steadying breath against the lust running through him.

“Hey, Jae,” Yunho whispered as he tried to pry Jae off him. “Let me go.”

Jae shook his head. “I am never letting you go again. Ever.”

“At least introduce me to your friends.”

“Tall one Changmin. Short one Junsu.”

Yunho met Changmin’s eyes first. The kid was scowling, and his lips were red, like he’d just been kissed. Yunho tried not to think about that. Junsu bowed and greeted him formally.

“I’m assuming you’re Yunho,” Changmin said.

“Yes,” Yunho said carefully, noting the distrust and hurt and anger in his eyes.

Changmin scoffed. “Please excuse me,” he said, voice hitching. “I see I am no longer needed here.”

He brushed by them, and Jae tensed in Yunho’s arms.

“Um, Jaejoong?” Junsu said very carefully. “I … I’m going to go with Changmin.”

Junsu gathered a few books and with a curious glance at them, he left the room, too.

Yunho was going to get an explanation out of Jae about this, but definitely later. With soft fingers on Jae’s cheek, he tilted Jae’s head until he could press his lips against his.

Jae whimpered, his hold tightening, and moved back. Yunho went with him, breath leaving him in a whoosh as they fell to the bed.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” Yunho whispered, attacking Jae’s lips again. Jae whined and lifted his hips, slamming their crotches together. Yunho inhaled sharply. He grabbed Jae’s hips and yanked him further up on the bed, lips falling on his collar bone and neck. Jae whined again, hands unbuttoning Yunho’s jeans.

“Take me, fuck, take me now, please, god please,” Jae whispered, needy, and stroked Yunho’s cock roughly.

Yunho growled, and with too much force, flipped Jaejoong over. The sweatpants ripped as Yunho tore them off. He lowered his face to Jae’s ass only long enough to coat his hole in spit, and then he did the same to his cock, stroking twice. He gripped Jae’s ass, spreading him open and thrust into Jae’s body.

Jae screamed, arching his upper body off the bed, jerking his hips back, trying to meet Yunho’s thrusts.

It wasn’t the way Yunho had thought of their reunion, but it was good enough. Yunho was already too close to coming, too close because it’d been three weeks since he had fucked Jaejoong. Three long weeks, three weeks too long. Yunho bent over him, bit down on Jae’s shoulder and came.

Jae whimpered, shaking.

Yunho wrapped a protective arm around Jae’s chest. He lifted him up, sitting back on his feet in the same movement, until they ended up chest to back. Jae’s arms wrapped around his neck. Their lips pressed together between deeps gasps. Yunho held Jae firmly with one arm, and took Jae’s cock in his hand. He stroked slowly. Jae moaned, shifting his hips so Yunho moved inside him.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Yunho whispered.

Jae opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head and shut his eyes and leaned his head against Yunho’s shoulder. Yunho didn’t know how long they stayed that way, lips connected, breaths mingling.

The door opened.

“Yunho.”

Yunho broke from Jae’s lips and smiled at Yoochun. “Hey.”

Yoochun climbed on the bed and, kneeling, found his spot next to Yunho. Their lips met.

“Looks like I missed round one,” Yoochun said.

Yunho grinned. “Just my round one.”

“Can’t keep it up, old man?”

“Shut up. It’s been three weeks. How are you?” Yunho asked. He wrapped his arm around Yoochun’s back.

Yoochun grinned. “Okay, I guess.”

“Someone’s been sucking on you,” Yunho said and licked a hicky on his neck. “And fucking you. You smell like sex worse than we do.”

Yoochun laughed. “Heechul.”

“The RA?”

Yoochun nodded. “Yeah. You should see him. He’s almost prettier than Jaejoong, unless you’re talking to him, then he is prettier than Jaejoong.”

“No one is prettier than Jaejoong,” Yunho said and kissed Jae’s lips again. Yoochun joined a moment later, tongue twisting into mouths.

Yunho sped up his strokes on Jae’s cock. Yoochun moved his lips to Jae’s body. With a bit of twisting and maneuvering, they managed to get Jaejoong’s shirt off. With Yunho’s hand on his cock and Yoochun’s lips on his nipples, it didn’t take much longer for Jaejoong to come.

Jae was crying and shuddering and breathing deeply.

Yunho covered his lips. “I love you,” he whispered.

“Don’t say that,” Jae gasped. “Please don’t say that.”

“Why?”

Jae’s crying intensified and he moved, away from Yunho and into Yoochun’s arms. But Yunho was still buried deep inside him.

“Tell him not to say that, Chunnie, please.”

Yoochun held him and kissed his head. “It will still be true, even if he doesn’t say it.”

“I don’t want it to be true.”

“Why not?”

“Because it hurts too much.”

“Jae,” Yunho whispered, and Jae ignored him, holding onto Yoochun until his tears stopped. Yoochun shifted them, pulling Jae completely away from Yunho’s body.

Yunho sighed as they curled around each other. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come,” he muttered.

“I thought you were going on a date tonight,” Yoochun said.

“It's tomorrow night, but I called and canceled.” Yunho ran his hand up and down Jae’s side.

Jae shivered.

“Please talk to me, Jaejoong,” Yunho whispered. “Please.”

Jae shook his head, burying deeper into Yoochun.

“I’ve missed you so much, Jaejoong. I can’t sleep, and nothing I cook tastes even close to what you can make. I miss your warmth and your smiles and—”

“Then why did you make me leave?” Jae whispered.

Yunho sighed.

“Please don’t say it’s for my own good, please. I’m so tired of you saying that.”

“I know.”

“Jae-love,” Yoochun whispered. “What’s wrong?”

“Changmin doesn’t want me and Yunho’s being selfish and you didn’t come to lunch and if you had said you needed someone to fuck your thoughts away, I would have done it for you, but you went to Heechul instead and why did you go to Heechul? I needed you so much.”

“I’m sorry,” Yoochun said and kissed his forehead, “but I was upset with you because you were being nice to Junsu.”

Jae sniffled and then smiled a bit.

“What?” Yoochun asked.

“He watched Changmin and me kiss. And not just a—”

“You kissed Changmin!” Yoochun almost shouted.

“Yeah. Yesterday and today. But just a little bit. I don’t think he really wants to though. Sort of conned him into it both times a bit. You shouldn’t hate Junsu. He’s really trying to be nicer.”

Yoochun scoffed. He met Yunho’s eyes. “I’m going to leave you two alone. You really need to talk to each other.”

Jae clung to Yoochun, but Yoochun kissed him and pried his hands away. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you today, and I promise that when I need sex to take my mind off of things, I will come to you first, but we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

Jae shot a look at Yunho and then nodded. “Kiss me.”

“Whenever you want,” Yoochun said and leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Jaejoong’s lips. “I’ll send Junsu over to get his night things, but I’ll make sure he stays in my room, even if I can’t stand the bastard.”

“Thanks, Chunnie.”

“Anything for you. I love you.”

“I love you.”

Yoochun gave him one more kiss and then hugged Yunho. “Be nice to him. Hold him. He needs to know you love him less, and he needs to know you’ll always be here more.”

Yunho tightened his hold on Yoochun and whispered back, “You know I love you, too, right?”

“But in a different way.”

“Yes.” Yoochun kissed him, leaving him breathless. “I’ll probably see you in the morning.”

“Probably.”

After a soft touch of fingers on Jaejoong’s cheek, Yoochun left.

~+~+~+~

Junsu tried very hard to concentrate on his homework. But the words on the page just ended up looking like Jaejoong and Changmin kissing, and the fleeting image of Heechul naked invaded his brain when he closed his eyes.

Changmin hadn’t moved from the bed, but he’d stopped shaking, and his breathing had steadied. Junsu doubted he was asleep though.

“Changmin?”

“What?”

“What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?”

“Kissing.”

Changmin scoffed and rolled onto his back. “That depends. Sometimes it’s the greatest feeling in the world, and sometimes it rips your heart out.”

“How many people have you kissed?”

“Four.”

“Is that a lot?”

“Not compared to some. For you, yes, it’s probably a lot.”

“Do you really like Jaejoong then?”

“I don’t know. It’s confusing. I do, but so what? With his insane life, I just don’t want to get involved.”

“Why?”

Changmin looked over at him.

“I’m assuming you know who Yunho is?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And it’s Jaejoong’s secret, not mine.”

“Oh. He seems … older.”

“Again. Jaejoong’s secret.”

“Well … I’ve been thinking today.”

“And what?”

“I think I want to kiss someone. See what it’s like.”

“Go find a girl to kiss you then. You’re attractive, Junsu. I’m sure there’s a girl here that would kiss you.”

Junsu blushed and looked at his hands. “Girls are …”

“If you say scary, I’m going to laugh at you.”

“Intimidating.”

Changmin chuckled. “Same thing. So you want to kiss a boy?”

Junsu made a face. “No.”

“Jaejoong won’t mind. He’s pretty enough to be a girl.”

“God, no. If I kissed a boy, it wouldn’t be him.”

Changmin’s eyebrows rose. “Did you just say ‘if you kissed a boy’? What’s with the if?”

Junsu’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of red, and he shrugged. “I don’t know. You guys seem to like it.”

“Wow. Churchy boy. Preacher kid. What the hell?”

“I told you. I’ve been thinking.”

“And suddenly you want to kiss a boy? How is that thinking?”

Junsu turned around. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

Changmin snorted. “Yeah. Whatever.”


	8. more physical drama

Yoochun walked into his dorm room. “Junsu, go get your pajamas. You’re going to be sleeping here tonight. Yunho and Jaejoong need some time.”

Changmin scoffed and rolled over, his back to Yoochun.

Yoochun contemplated shouting at him, but then just left it. Changmin knew what was going on. If he was going to be a dick about it, then Yoochun wouldn’t stop him.

“Are they … covered?” Junsu asked.

Yoochun smirked. “I told them you were going to come in, so they should be.”

“Okay.” He slipped from the room.

“Are you willing to give up your bed, so Junsu can sleep there?” Yoochun asked.

Changmin looked over his shoulder. “What?”

“Well, I doubt Junsu is going to want to sleep with either of us, and I don’t want him sleeping with me, so—”

“Yeah, whatever.” Changmin stood up and went into the bathroom.

Yoochun contemplated him for a moment and then followed after him. He still had dried come all over his skin anyway. Changmin was brushing his teeth. Yoochun stripped down, noted how Changmin’s eyes traced over his body once, and then jumped in the shower for a quick wash.

When he returned to the room, both of the others were in bed, and the silence was thick.

“This is a lovely sleepover,” Yoochun muttered as he turned off the light. He settled in bed next to Changmin, and lay there for a few minutes, listening to the other two breathe. Changmin’s breath was labored, angry, and tense.

Yoochun knew the easiest way to calm him down. He also knew that Jaejoong genuinely liked Changmin. He thought briefly of what was going on in Jaejoong’s room, and then smiled. Jaejoong was going to be fucking pissed at him, but in this twisted mess of sex and who belongs to whom, Yoochun could always claim innocence. He rolled on his side, facing Changmin’s back and let a hand fall to the other’s hip.

Changmin jerked, but had no where to pull away to since he was between the wall and Yoochun.

“Please don’t touch me,” he whispered.

“Jae said he kissed you today,” Yoochun said.

Changmin tensed even further. He said nothing.

“How was it?”

Changmin scoffed. “Fine until Yunho showed up.”

“Left you will blue balls, did he?”

“Hyung, if this is some ploy to hit on me or get in my pants or something, just stop it. I’m not in the mood.”

Yoochun slid closer until he was spooning the younger kid. His hand slid around Changmin’s hip and he pressed his lips to the back of Changmin’s neck.

“You caught me. Shame on me.”

He licked a strip up to Changmin’s ear.

“Do I have to tell you no one more time?”

Yoochun lightly caressed the hard on tenting Changmin’s pajama bottoms. “If you want to.”

Changmin shuddered. “What about Jaejoong?”

“Jaejoong is fucking Yunho at the moment.”

Changmin didn’t reply, nor did he stop Yoochun from gripping his erection and stroking.

“You know things are complicated,” Yoochun whispered, lips against Changmin’s ear again.

“You said he liked me.”

“He does like you.”

“Do you like me? Or is this just—“

“—an excuse to get off?” Yoochun asked, thrusting his hips against Changmin’s body. “Yes to both.”

Changmin sighed and rolled to his back. “Jaejoong frustrates me,” he whispered.

“Yeah.”

“I really like him.”

“Then you’re going to have to get used to coming in second to Yunho.”

“Third. You’re after Yunho.”

“That’s true, but while they’re being together, there’s nothing stopping us from being together.”

Yoochun pressed their lips together. Changmin kissed him back, surprisingly dominate as he wrapped his hands in Yoochun’s hair and forced his lips open. Yoochun let him and sped up his strokes on Changmin’s cock. Changmin moaned, hips arching into the touch.

“One thing you have to learn, dongsaeng, is that pleasure and love are not the same thing.” Yoochun slipped his hand under the waistband of Changmin’s sweats. Changmin whimpered when Yoochun’s hand wrapped around his erection. “Pleasure is a necessity. Love is a burden. Whether Jaejoong likes you or not, never think it’s love. He loves Yunho. And as I’m sure you noticed, Jaejoong is a mess of emotions when it comes to Yunho. You should take pleasure from wherever you can get it, and from whoever is offering.”

“Sounds like you’re saying I should be a slut,” Changmin said even as he thrust into Yoochun’s hand.

“There’s a slut inside all of us. Including Preacher Boy over there.”

Changmin smiled, and then his eyes shut with a moan. “Fuck, Yoochun.”

“Confusing-Jaejoong-Lesson-Of-The-Day learned?’ Yoochun asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. Can I suck on you now?”

“God, please.”

Yoochun pressed his lips against Changmin’s and then down his jaw and across his chest. He only licked at his nipples for a moment, but based on the hitch of breath, Yoochun knew he’d be back to really pay attention to them later. Changmin’s cock was pulsing in his hand, ready to come, so Yoochun traced his tongue around the head, pressure all around, before sliding his lips around the head and taking half of Changmin into his mouth. Jaejoong would definitely be able to take all of him, but Yoochun wasn’t going to press his luck.

He sucked on Changmin’s cock, quick and efficient, stroking the lower half with his hand.

Changmin moaned, biting his lip against a shout that he didn’t quiet hold back as he came into Yoochun’s mouth.

Yoochun swallowed, sucked and played until Changmin tugged on his hair with a whine. He kissed up Changmin’s stomach and heaving chest.

“I want to do more,” Yoochun said and pressed their lips together, “but I also don’t want Junsu to wake up and be offended.”

“I’m not sure I could handle more, hyung.”

Yoochun kissed his shoulder. “Until tomorrow then.”

~+~+~+~

Yunho held Jae close. His shaking didn’t stop for a few long minutes.

A few knocks landed on the door, and it opened slowly.

“Is it safe to come in?” a quiet voice whispered.

Yunho tugged on the blankets until they were covering Jae’s naked body. “Yes,” he said.

Junsu, the religious one, came into the room, cheeks red, without looking at either of them.

“I’m sorry,” Yunho said immediately, startling the kid. “I should go.”

“No, no,” Junsu said, quickly, trying to bow and gather things and not look at them all at the same time. “I’ll sleep in the other room. Yoochun says Jae needs you, and I—it’s okay, please. Just … I’m just going to get my things, and—”

Yunho smiled at his nervousness. When he bent over, Yunho realized why Jae wanted his ass so much. It was perfect.

“Thank you, Junsu-shi, for letting me intrude.”

“Oh, it’s not problem,” Junsu muttered and then yelped when he looked up, lost focus and kicked an open drawer. “I’m … yeah, I’m just going to go. See you later, Yunho-shi. Take care of Jaejoong.”

“I will.”

“I’ll lock the door and make sure no one bothers you,” he said, blushing beat red, he held up a tie and then the door shut, the locked clicked and they were alone again.

“Jae, talk to me,” Yunho said.

“No. Just hold me, please.”

Yunho sighed and held him, let his face bury into his neck. “Can I talk, will you listen?”

“Yes.”

“I love you so much. The thought of you with Changmin really upsets me. And I know that you’re upset about Donghae. We can’t do this, to ourselves or to each other.”

Jae propped up on an elbow and stared at Yunho carefully. “The next sentence out of your mouth is either going to break my heart or make me want to kiss you forever.”

Yunho smiled. “Probably.”

Jae kissed him, pushed him to the bed. “I know you, Yunho. I know which one you’re going to say.” Jae crawled over him, straddling his waist.

Yunho frowned. He stopped Jae from kissing him again. “What do you mean?”

“You always try to protect people, and do the right thing,” Jae sort of smiled. “Well, except with me. You seem to do the opposite with me.”

“What? Two years and—”

“I know.” Jae’s breath hitched against his tears. “Love me,” he whispered. “Please.”

Yunho nodded. He gripped Jae’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. It was slow and passionate, steady cooperation of tongue and lips and teeth. It broke only long enough to pull Yunho’s shirt over his head. Jae’s hands gripped chest muscles while Yunho’s slid up and down his back.

There was familiarity there, for both of them. It wasn’t challenging to find the spots that made the other crazy with need. And they both begged for more with their kiss, not needing to actually say anything. Jae followed the well known path down Yunho’s body. Shoulders, collar bone, chest, stomach. Yunho lifted his hips at the right moment for Jae to finish undressing him.

Jae took Yunho’s erection in his hand. He licked around the head, and then down the length, falling immediately into the task of driving Yunho insane. He licked and bit and sucked, but never enough to pleasure, only enough to tease.

“God, Jaejoong, please.” Yunho’s hands tangled in his hair, pushing and pulling Jae up and down his cock. After one pull, Jae let his cock fall away. He kissed the bend of Yunho’s hip and then rolled out of bed, padding naked to his dresser. The top drawer was his toy drawer and he contemplated a gag or restraints for a moment, and then decided against it. The last time Yunho had restrained and beaten him, the sex had been almost too good. Jaejoong wanted to keep that memory.

He grabbed a bottle of lube and covered his fingers with it as he walked back to the bed. He stroked Yunho’s cock again, covering, and then straddled his hips. Yunho held his erection up, and Jae’s eyes shut at the feeling of it poised to enter him.

With a bitter sigh, Jae sat, lowering himself on Yunho’s cock. He didn’t stop until Yunho was completely inside him, and then he rocked, not lifting up.

Yunho’s hands fell to Jae’s hips, his moans filled the rooms.

This was Jae’s favorite thing. Less about sex and more about connecting. There had been times where he and Yunho did nothing else for hours.

Yunho’s fingers traced up his sides and twisted his nipples, pulling a satisfied moan from Jae’s throat. He kept his hips rocking steadily. He wasn’t sure how long it took for pleasure to build in him, the need for more to overpower the feeling of completeness he’d only ever felt with Yunho. Leaning forward, he pressed their lips together in a breathy kiss. He lifted his hips up and down, taking the rhythm from just the rocking and moving it to the fucking. Yunho’s hands went back to his hips, pushing and encouraging him to do more.

“Your cock has always felt so good,” Jae whispered to the shuddering lips below his.

“Everything about you feels good,” Yunho returned. “I’ll never find someone else like you, Jaejoong. Ever.”

Tears welled in Jae’s eyes even as the pleasure in his body grew. They said nothing else, but stayed connected with bodies and lips. Jae didn’t speed up, or shift for a different angle. They stayed together, for hours, days, years. Sweat gathered on their heated skin. Jae came without Yunho touching him, letting pleasure flow and ebb and build until it spilled between their bodies.

Yunho followed minutes hours days later, his orgasm no less insistent than the first one, and he filled Jae’s body up. They kissed through the aftershocks and then Jae pulled away, eyes shut. He lifted his body and let Yunho’s cock fall out of his hole before snuggling close. Silent tears ran down his cheeks as he found **his** spot against Yunho’s body.

Yunho waited until Jae stopped shaking. He waited for a few minutes longer than he should have. Jae wasn’t asleep. Yunho knew that tonight, neither of them would sleep. He kissed Jae’s forehead.

He slipped from the bed and stood in the middle of the room for a moment. Slowly, prolonging the inevitable, he dressed.

Jae’s body jerked when he opened the door.

“I love you so much,” Yunho whispered, and then left everything behind. Yunho couldn’t remember the last time he cried, but as he walked away from Jaejoong, he didn’t bother to try to stop the tears running down his cheeks.

~+~+~+~

Junsu lay staring at the ceiling, listening to Changmin and Yoochun whisper. They were talking too quietly for him to understand, but Jaejoong’s name had filtered through the whispers.

And then Changmin moaned, and the noises changed, kissing, muffled thwaps, moans, culminating in an agonized shout that made Junsu blush in the dark and his mind to start wondering what Yoochun had done to Changmin to cause him to make that noise. He squeezed his eyes shut and whispered a silent prayer for _that_ feeling to go away.


	9. emotional drama

Jae cried for a bit. He yelled into his pillow. He hit his pillow wishing it was Yunho’s face, and then whispered _I love you_ to it over and over and over again. He didn’t want to be alone, and without even the possibility of Yunho being next to him, he felt alone.

He sat up, and very carefully pulled on a pair of sweats and a tank top. He padded to Yoochun’s room, thankful that it wasn’t locked. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. There were two lumps on Yoochun’s bed, a single one on Changmin’s. He went to Yoochun’s bed, because he always went to Yoochun first. A stab of pain went through his heart from the way Yoochun and Changmin were intimately curled up together.

And he wasn’t sure if it was because Yoochun obviously had Changmin first or because Changmin was curled up in his spot next to Yoochun.

“Jaejoong,” Junsu whispered.

Jae gasped, startled, and then moved to the other bed. He sat down and Junsu slid over for him.

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” Jae whispered.

“I wasn’t asleep. Why are you here? Where’s Yunho?”

“He—“ A lump in his throat kept him from doing more than making a pained noise. “I don’t want to sleep alone,” Jae whispered, fighting back tears.

Junsu bit his lower lip. “Do you want me to come back to our room?”

Jae shot a look at the other bed, and shook his head. “No. I don’t want to be there.”

“Okay.” Junsu lifted up the edge of the blanket and said. “Here, climb in.”

“Su—“

“It’s okay, Jae,” Junsu said. “I … well, this is probably stupid of me, but I trust you not to do anything to me.”

Jae smiled. “I’m too tired and emotionally worn out to try anything, but I will make no such promises tomorrow.”

Junsu laughed and quickly stifled it, shifting over while Jae lay on his back next to him. Junsu threw the blanket over him.

“Try to relax,” Junsu said.

“I can’t.”

“Can I help?”

Jae smiled. “Sure. Suck me off.”

Junsu stammered something, and Jae chuckled. “Kidding, Su-ah.” Jae looked over at the other bed and sighed. “Did those two do anything before they fell asleep?”

Junsu swallowed. “Um, I think so, but … I don’t know. It sounded like they were kissing, and Changmin was moaning.”

Jae sighed again. “Great. Just fucking fantastic.”

“Changmin was really upset.”

“I know.”

Jae turned on his side, away from the others, toward Junsu. “Hey, Su.”

“Yeah, Jae?”

“Can I … can you just hold me until I fall asleep?”

“I—I don’t know if I know how to do that.”

Jae scooted closer. “Here. Lay back.” He pushed Junsu’s shoulders to the bed, and then lay against him, his head at Junsu’s chest. He maneuvered one of Junsu’s arms until it was around his shoulders.

“Just like that,” Jae said, and yawned.

“Oh. O-okay.”

He listened to Junsu’s heart race, his breath speed up and little shivers run through his skin. Jae smiled. If he was feeling better, he’d be touching Junsu already. But not now, and the kid was being awfully nice to him. Jae would ask about this sudden change in behavior tomorrow.

Now, he just wanted to try to forget about Yunho and sleep.

“Thanks, Su,” Jae whispered, and cuddled closer.

~+~+~+~

Junsu’s heart was racing, his mind going fifty miles a minute. Jae was lying practically on top of him, with a leg thrown over Junsu’s thighs. Jae’s breathing had steadied, body jerking in his sleep. But Junsu couldn’t relax. Again images of naked skin invaded his thoughts, though this time it was Jaejoong, on their first day, with Yoochun’s penis in his mouth.

Kissing, yes. He would try kissing because his mother always said that when he found someone he wanted to kiss, then it would be okay to kiss them, but to make sure it was someone worthy of that kiss.

But the thought of his mouth replacing Jaejoong in the vision in his head was not okay. Not, not, not okay. He wanted to get on his knees and pray and pray and pray until he calmed down, but Jaejoong was so peacefully asleep, that Junsu didn’t want to risk moving and upsetting him.

Junsu shut his eyes tightly and prayed, willing the images away. Begging the desire down even as it filled his body and made him shake. Oh, dear Lord. Junsu was in so much trouble. He was never going to be able to look his preacher in the eyes again.

~+~+~+~

The first thing Changmin noticed when his eyes opened was the extra head on Junsu’s body. He blinked, trying to clear the dream from his head, but the head and its burgundy hair stayed there.

The second thing Changmin noticed was the erection pressed against his ass and the lips pressed against his neck.

“Morning,” Yoochun whispered. “Want to get in the bathroom before those two wake up?”

_Those two?_

Changmin looked again and recognized Jaejoong’s hair. A stab of heartache shot through him. He pressed against Yoochun’s body, tilted his head back and allowed the other to press a kiss against the corner of his mouth.

“Sure. And what exactly are we going to be doing in the bathroom?”

A leer morphed Yoochun’s face and he said, “Let’s go and see. I’m sure something will come up.”

Changmin smiled. He rolled out of bed and practically pulled Yoochun out of it, too. Yoochun shut the bathroom door quietly. With their joined hands, he yanked Changmin’s body against his. Their lips met briefly, and Yoochun shimmied to the floor, using the door and Changmin’s hips as support. He yanked Changmin’s sweats down and engulfed his cock. Changmin bit his arm against a cry, and leaned on the door, forearm pressed against the wood, forehead pressed against his arm.

Yoochun did the same as he had the night before, went for quick and efficient, sucking on the top half, and rubbing the lower with his hand.

It was almost embarrassing how quickly Changmin was ready to come.

But then Yoochun’s lips pulled away.

“Look at me,” he demanded as he stroked, keeping Changmin’s orgasm right there.

Changmin managed to pry his eyes open and look at Yoochun on his knees, lips red and shiny. Yoochun wrapped his tongue around the head of Changmin’s cock, twisting his hand just enough with the right amount of pressure. Wide-eyed, open-mouth, Changmin watched as his cock jerked and come covered Yoochun’s face, landing in his mouth, on his chin and cheeks. Yoochun moaned and licked up the leftovers seeping from the tip.

“Fuck, hyung,” Changmin gasped as soon as he was able.

Yoochun used Changmin hips to stand back up. He kissed Changmin, smearing the come on his face. Changmin moaned and pressed Yoochun against the door. Yoochun’s erection dug into his thigh.

“Should I—“ Changmin didn’t know how to finish that.

“Should you what?” Yoochun teased.

“Shut up, I’ve never done this before. Am I supposed to suck on you now?”

Yoochun leered. “No. You’re not supposed to. It would be nice though.” Yoochun leaned forward and licked some of the come on Changmin’s chin. “Or we could get in the shower and you can stroke me off if you don’t feel comfortable with having a cock in your mouth yet.”

~+~+~+~

Jae rolled over when the shower started, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He felt betrayed and confused. Did he have the right to feel betrayed? Yoochun knew he liked Changmin. But had Jae given up any rights to him by tossing him away as soon as Yunho showed up?

And who was the instigator in this? For all he knew, Changmin could have been upset and gone to Yoochun. And Jae knew his best friend. Yoochun wouldn’t say no.

“At least it’s Saturday,” Junsu whispered. “No classes.”

Jae scoffed. “Just a major test Monday on seventeenth century composers that I have to study for.”

“Oh. Right.”

Jae sighed.

“I want to ask you something,” Junsu said.

“What?”

“Um …” Junsu scrambled up and left the bed. “Sorry, but I—more comfortable—“

“Su, please. I’m not really in the mood.”

“Well, I asked Changmin but he was all pissed off at you so he wasn’t very helpful.”

“Ask away.” Jae shut his eyes and put his hands behind his head.

“What’s kissing like?”

Jae’s eyes flew open. “What?”

“Kissing. What’s it like?”

“You’ve never been kissed?”

Junsu was blushing. “N-no.”

Jae sat up slowly, trying not to smile. “Kissing is amazing. Especially when you’re kissing someone that knows how to kiss well. If they don’t, well, then you just have to teach them.”

“But—“ Junsu looked up, and then looked down again. “What’s it like?”

“I can tell you all about it, Su. I can tell you about how your head goes light and your fingers tingle where they’re clutching the other person’s hands or body or clothes. Or how everything narrows down to nothing but the press and feel of lips against yours. But you’ll never know what it’s really like until you’ve actually done it.

Jae watched him. He rubbed his elbow with one hand, eyes still glued to the floor.

“You’re attractive, Su-ah,” Jae said. “I’m sure there are any number of girls at this school who would love to kiss you.”

“That’s what Changmin said.”

“Well, Changmin is pretty smart.”

There was a sudden shout from the bathroom. Junsu went a deeper shade of red. Jae rolled his eyes.

“Let’s get out of here,” Jae said as he stood up. He went past Junsu to the door, and Jae did not miss the shiver that wracked Junsu’s body when their arms brushed.

Jae held out his hand, and to his surprise, Junsu took it. They walked down the hall to their room. Jae let go as soon as they were inside, trying not to look at his bed, and almost tripped over something on the floor.

“Fuck,” he muttered when he recognized Yunho’s wallet. He picked it up and flipped through it. There was a picture of the two of them in one of the little sleeves. It had been taken the year before, when Jae was still adamantly against going to college. They were smiling like dorks.

“What is it?”

“Yunho’s wallet.”

“Oh.”

Jae met Junsu’s curious eyes.

“You’re awful at concealing your feelings,” Jae muttered. “I told Changmin, might as well tell you, too.”

“You don’t have—“

“Shut up and sit down. I told Changmin so he’d kiss me. I’m telling you so you understand. And I’ll leave out the sexy details.”

“Sexy details?”

“Yeah. Like the first time Yunho fucked me I was tied up with a gag in my mouth and a ring around my cock.”

“A what around what?”

Jae laughed. “You don’t know what a cock ring is?”

“A-and, ti-tied up? How do you have sex tied up?”

Jae laughed harder.

“Shut up!” Su said, bright red face buried behind his hands.

Jae gasped, trying to control himself. “Sorry. I’m sorry, it’s just … man. It’s funny. We are definitely going through my toy drawer to educate you.”

“I’m not sure I want to learn.”

“Well, if you learn from me, you learn from the best.”

“And that’s something to be proud of?” Junsu’s voice cracked.

Jae contemplated him for a moment, and then looked back down at Yunho’s wallet. “Maybe not. But I’ve survived. I can survive. You can’t. Outside of a controlled environment, also known as the real world, you’re going to fall to pieces.”

Junsu turned away, arms crossed.

Jae sighed and took his phone from his table.

 **sexyBeauty** ~ you left your wallet here ~

With his eyes on his phone, he told Junsu the brief story of his life, the brief story of Yunho, and how he managed to go to college.

His phone buzzed ten minutes later.

 **sexyBeast** \+ fuck +

 **sexyBeauty** ~ I can mail it to you if you can wait for it ~

 **sexyBeast** \+ naw, I’ll leave right now to come and get it +  
**sexyBeast** \+ I’m not doing anything else today +

Jae’s heart fluttered, and he didn’t respond to that message.

“What’s wrong?” The bed dipped and Jae leaned into Junsu’s body.

“He’s coming to get his wallet.”

“You don’t have to be here, you know,” Junsu said. “You can take off and I’ll give it to him.”

“Thanks, Su.”

“So are you two broken up or—“

“I think so. I … I wasn’t planning on talking to him ever again.”

There was a knock on their door, and it opened and Yoochun stuck his head in. Jae met his eyes for a moment, and then looked away.

“Someone wake me up when life doesn’t suck any more,” Jae whispered and moved away from Junsu. He curled up on his bed, facing the wall, and went through Yunho’s wallet, emptying the pockets and slots, and then putting everything back. A different body sat behind him and Jae tensed when Yoochun touched his arm.

“You’re mad at me,” Yoochun said. “I knew you would be, but you don’t blame me right?”

“No,” Jae whispered. “I lost my chance.”

“Not entirely,” Yoochun said with a shrug. “Give him a day or two.”

Jae sighed and rolled over so he could look up at Yoochun. “You don’t understand, Chunnie. I … that’s not all I want from him. I really, really like him.”

“Oh.” And Yoochun bit his lip. “And now I feel like an utter bastard.”

“No. Maybe … maybe it’s better this way. I just need to be alone for a little while.”

“Yunho’s wallet?”

“He left it. Probably fell out of his pants pocket. He’s coming to get it.”

Yoochun frowned. “What happened?”

Jae felt his eyes well with tears and he turned away, curling in a ball as they fell. Yoochun was right behind him, holding him, stroking his hair, trying to get him to talk.

From across the room, Junsu said, “They broke up. More or less. Jae says they—“ He cleared his throat and his cheeks went pink. “—you know, had s-sex, but it was the last time, and Yunho left.”

“Fuck, Kim Jaejoong, why the hell didn’t you wake me up?” Yoochun demanded.

“You were all cuddled with Changmin,” Jae whispered. “I didn’t—”

“So what? No one, no one, is more important to me than you are, never forget that.”

“Yes. But I was so angry.”

Yoochun nodded. “I know. And I’m sorry. I knew you were going to be upset with me fooling around with Changmin, and I did it anyway. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Chunnie. Love me?”

“Of course. Love me?”

“Always.”

Yoochun leaned down and pressed their lips together briefly. He pried Yunho’s wallet from Jae’s fingers and then settled them down on the bed. Jae sighed. At least there was one person who he could always claim as his.


	10. kisses

Jae could not relax, or concentrate. Yoochun had sent him a text a half hour before saying that Yunho was almost there. Yoochun told Jaejoong in no uncertain terms was he seeing Yunho again so soon, and that he would give Yunho his wallet back. He sent Yunho a text before Jae could stop him, telling him that Jae wasn’t ready to see him again.

Yoochun had held Jae after, and Jae knew that he was right.

But now he was more than freaking out. He paced their dorm room, back and forth between their beds. Junsu was at his desk, trying to study, but shot irritated and then concerned eyes at Jaejoong.

“Jae. Sit.”

Jae pouted and crossed his arms. “I can’t sit.”

“Please. You’re driving me crazy.”

Jae stuck his tongue out at him and then smirked. He took two steps to Junsu’s chair and sat in his lap. “There. Better?”

Junsu swallowed and blushed. “N-no.”

Jae leaned back, using the desk as support. He hooked his fingers around the back of Junsu’s neck. “You didn’t specify where, now did you?”

“Please move,” Junsu said, barely a whisper. His eyes were shut tight. Jaejoong knew the signs of someone trying to control themselves.

He sighed and said, “Normally, I’d exploit this situation to my advantage and take what I want from you,” Jae said as he climbed off Junsu’s lap.

Jae flopped on his bed.

Junsu sighed. “I think I just want to get it over with,” he muttered.

“What?” Jae said.

“This whole kissing thing. I just …”

“No girls in this room, Su-ah.”

“I know. Will you kiss me?”

Jae scoffed and propped up on his elbows.

Junsu was looking anywhere but him, cheeks a bright red.

“Are you fucking serious?”

Junsu lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I-I’ve been thinking about it, and …”

“And suddenly being gay is okay?”

“It’s not okay, but …”

Jae snorted and let himself fall back to the bed. “Yeah, no thanks.”

“Didn’t you say college was time for experiments? Maybe I’ll like it.”

“Oh, Su, that’s the problem,” Jae said, propping up again. He waited until Junsu nervously met his eyes. “If I kissed you, you would most definitely like it.”

“So kiss me.”

“Um, excuse me, who are you and what have you done with Junsu?”

Junsu put his face in his hands and growled. Jae watched as he ran his hands through his hair in aggravation.

“I don’t know. I have no clue!” He suddenly stood up, upending his chair and took Jae’s spot pacing. “I was fine and dandy until you started being nice to me, and then you went and kissed Changmin and I saw Heechul and Yoochun naked, and like, in the middle of s-sex, and then you all curled up with Yunho and listening to Changmin and Yoochun last night and then laying with you and I know it’s wrong, I know it is, but I can’t help it. I can’t help this need or whatever you want to call it that comes from thinking of you sucking on Yoochun’s p-peni—I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed for the feelings to go away, but they’re still there.”

Jae stood up. He wanted to laugh, but he’d laugh later. Junsu frustrated and pissed off was adorable.

He stopped Junsu’s pacing, and said, “You can’t ever take it back, you know. Once your first kiss is gone, it’s gone.”

“I-I know,” he whispered.

Jae stared at him for a long minute. Long enough that Junsu dropped his eyes and tried to get away from the hold Jae had on his shoulders. Hesitation was not what Jae did. And yet he hesitated. He’d corrupted and been fucked by enough religious people in his life (including a pastor), but taking this poor, confused boy’s first kiss felt more than wrong.

“Su-ah, I can’t—”

Junsu tore away from him.

Jae winced when the door slammed. He stood in the middle of the room for a moment and then screamed. The one time he did what was right and he felt like the biggest jerk on Earth.

~+~+~+~

Yunho stopped in the hallway, in front of Jaejoong’s door. He touched the door with his palm and then sighed. He went to Yoochun’s room and knocked on the door.

Yoochun smiled when he opened the door and pulled Yunho into the room.

“Hey, Chunnie,” Yunho whispered. “Is Jaejoong okay?”

“He will be, but he needs more than a few hours.”

Yunho sighed. “God, this is stupid.”

Yoochun nodded. “Yes, it is. But you’re still going to be stubborn about it.”

Yunho hugged him tightly. “I’m going to miss you, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll miss you, too.”

Yunho pulled back enough to kiss Yoochun softly.

Yoochun smiled against is lips. “I thought you came for your wallet.”

“I didn’t get to say goodbye to you last night.”

Yoochun moved to his dresser where he’d put Yunho’s wallet. He sighed as he picked it up. “Jae is … Jae loves you, Yunho. More than I thought Jae was capable of loving anyone. Or anything.” He turned around and glared at Yunho for a moment and then said, “I hope you’re prepared to lose him forever.”

“That’s what—”

Yoochun shook his head. “I know him better than you, remember that. Right now, I’m going to have to try to keep him from being a slut again, from sleeping with everyone on this floor and in this building because he’s hurt and when Jaejoong is hurt, he fucks around. But after he calms down, he may find someone and then what will happen?”

“If I lose him forever, then it wasn’t meant to be. I should have ended this a long time ago.”

“Saying no to Jaejoong is impossible.”

Yunho nodded.

“Well, here,” Yoochun handed Yunho his wallet.

“Thank you. Yoochun, you’ve … god, I always feel so old when I say shit like this, but you’ve grown up from the shy, little shadow that always followed Jaejoong around.”

Yoochun grinned. “It happens. I’m definitely going to miss you, but what … what is Jae going to do during vacations? Where is he going to live between semesters?”

Yunho frowned. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Neither has Jaejoong. So the two of you either need to fix this, or you need to find a solution.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Now kiss me goodbye.”

Yunho smiled and wrapped Yoochun up in his arms. He kissed him slowly, deeply, and he felt Yoochun’s body melt against his.

“I want one more time with you,” Yoochun whispered, “but Jae’s already a bit upset with me right now, because of the whole Changmin fiasco.”

“What happened?”

“Changmin got pissed off and came to me instead and well … you’ve seen Changmin. I wasn’t going to say no.”

“Not as bad as breaking his heart,” Yunho muttered.

“No. Which is why he’s still talking to me.”

They kissed again, and then Yunho sighed and pulled away. “Good bye, Chunnie. I’ll … well, I’ll call you when I figure things out.”

“Okay.” Yoochun opened his door.

Junsu, the religious one, was on the other side of it, hand raised to knock. He met Yunho’s eyes, bowed and greeted him and then came into the room. He flung himself on Changmin’s bed with a muffled scream into the pillow.

Yoochun and Yunho met each other’s eyes. Yoochun shrugged. They hugged again and with a kiss on Yoochun’s cheek, Yunho left. He again paused briefly by Jaejoong’s door. He wanted to desperately to comfort him, and see if he was alright, but that wasn’t his position any more. He took a letter from his back pocket, the one he’d agonized over writing the last few hours and slipped it underneath Jaejoong’s door.

~+~+~+~

Junsu stomped down the hall, hurt and anger running through him as he prayed for the plagues from heaven to destroy Jae’s perfectness. He didn’t really know where to go, but he didn’t want to be around people, and he didn’t want to talk and Yoochun hated him, and Yoochun would ignore him, so he found himself outside of Yoochun’s room, hand raised to knock when the door opened.

He stopped and took a deep breath. He bowed. “Hello, Yunho-shi. Yoochun. Excuse me please.” He pushed by them and threw himself on Changmin’s bed with an aggravated scream.

Why didn’t Jae kiss him? He offered himself up and Jae said no? Jae wasn’t supposed to say no. Jae was supposed to kiss him.

Dear God, he wanted Jaejoong to kiss him, to know what it felt like to have those plump lips against his.

He bit his lips, chewing on them, wondering what it would feel like, and he could see it happening in his mind, as Jae leaned in and kissed him.

He groaned.

“Alright, Preacher Boy,” Yoochun said. The bed dipped. “What’s wrong?”

“Fuck off,” he snapped and then eeped and mentally whispered a prayer of repentance.

“Ooh, such language.”

“Please, Yoochun, leave me alone. You hate me. I came here so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone, so please just ignore me and leave me alone.”

“I don’t hate you.”

Junsu scoffed and rolled over. Yoochun sat on the edge of the bed, closer than Junsu wanted him. “Please. Spare me the lies.”

Yoochun shrugged. “Not a lie. You’re kind of an ass, but so am I.”

“Truer words have never been uttered.”

Yoochun laughed. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No. You’ll laugh at me.”

Yoochun smirked. He leaned closer. “I know you were awake last night. Listening to me suck Changmin’s cock.”

Junsu’s cheeks when bright red. “Shut up.”

“Did you like that?”

Junsu rolled on his side. “Again. Fuck off.”

“Maybe that’s why you’re so pissy. Because you did like it and you just don’t want to admit it. Did it make you hard?”

“Oh my gosh, shut up!” Junsu said, face red.

Yoochun laughed. “It did! Did you jerk off? Did you wrap your fingers around your cock and stroke until you came? You were all curled up with Jaejoong this morning. Did Jaejoong take care of it for you? Did he wrap those pretty lips around your cock and—”

“I hate you!” Junsu shouted and rolled over completely, burying back into the pillow. He fought back tears of self-disgust and shame. Because everything Yoochun said was true. He had been hard last night, and this morning, and he had been thinking of Jae’s lips.

Yoochun phone beeped across the room, and Junsu sighed in relief when he got off the bed.

Yoochun laughed. “Oh my god. Is this for real? ‘Junsu asked me to kiss him and I didn’t’. You asked Jaejoong to kiss you?”

Junsu groaned in mortification, trying to bury himself deeper into the pillow.

“Oh god, too funny,” Yoochun crowed. “I asked him why he didn’t kiss you and he said he couldn’t, that he’d feel guilty for corrupting you. Oh god. Jaejoong, feel guilty? What the hell?”

Junsu moved his head enough to say, “I would really appreciate it, if you’d fuck off.”

“How about I kiss you instead?”

“No.”

“Why not? Jaejoong isn’t going to. I’ll do it. I have no problem with being right about this.”

“Please, shut up,” Junsu whispered, suddenly overcome with guilt.

“Let me kiss you.”

“No.”

“Yes. You want someone to do it. So I’ll do it.”

Junsu shut his eyes. That was true. He did want someone to do it, but he’d rather have Changmin or Jaejoong do it than Yoochun.

“Come on. Jae can make you fall in love with him just by kissing you, and Changmin is too confused himself right now to do it properly. Let me.”

“You’ll do it bad just to spite me,” Junsu muttered, but Yoochun heard.

The bed dipped again. “No, I won’t. I want to prove to you that there’s nothing wrong with it. That it’s okay to like other men, and that they kiss the same as a girl, and even better sometimes. I’ll make you deal though. You let me kiss you, and I’ll let you ask me all the sex questions you want without laughing at you.”

Junsu rolled onto his back, and then sat up away from where Yoochun was sitting. “How is that a deal?”

“You don’t like being laughed at. Who does? And I won’t.”

Junsu thought about it for a moment. He curled his legs under him. With cheeks bright red, he blurted, “What’s a cock ring?”

The corners of Yoochun’s lips quirked, but as promised, he didn’t laugh. “It’s a ring of silicone or metal or leather that you put on the base of your cock to keep from coming.”

“Why?”

Yoochun shrugged. “Depends. Makes you last longer, but most of the time it’s like a form of torture.”

Junsu bit his lip and looked away, not understanding at all.

Yoochun smiled. “Deal, or no deal, because if you don’t let me kiss you now, I’m going to start laughing because this is incredibly amusing.”

“One more question.”

“Okay.”

Junsu looked away from Yoochun’s steady gaze. “I … Is … I don’t … Will this make me gay?”

Yoochun frowned. “No. Kissing a guy doesn’t make you gay. Fucking a guy doesn’t make you gay. Being gay is something you have to decide for yourself. Sure you can say you’re not and do everything gay guys do. That’s called denial. But there’s nothing wrong with experimenting, Junsu. If you decide you don’t want to kiss boys anymore, then fine. If you want to try everything, and then decided to be with girls, then fine. It’s up to you, you know.”

Junsu nodded. His heart was thumping against his ribs. He couldn’t breathe, but he looked up at Yoochun, heat spreading through his cheeks.

“You sure about this?” Yoochun asked, as he scooted closer.

Junsu swallowed, but managed to nod. “Ye-yeah. Please. I—I’m so confused.”

“This will probably make it worse.” Yoochun reached for him, and Junsu’s eyes shut as fingers caressed his cheek.

“Probably.”

Another hand touched his other cheek, and then they tensed, lightly holding his face, and tilting. His eyes flew open when lips pressed against his, and he yanked back, gasping. Yoochun did not let go of his face.

“Sorry,” Junsu whispered.

The pad of Yoochun’s thumb smoothed over the heat in his cheek.

“It’s okay. You want to try again?”

 _An out._ Yoochun was giving him a chance to change his mind. But as Jaejoong said, once it was gone, it was gone, and well, it was gone.

Junsu nodded in Yoochun’s hold. Yoochun grinned, leaned forward, and pressed their lips together again. Junsu froze. He didn’t know what to do, should he move his lips should he move closer should he … oh, god, what—

Yoochun pulled away a tiny bit. One hand fell to his shoulder, and then wrapped around his neck. “Kissing is an art, Junsu. But it also takes two people. It’s not difficult, just try to follow my lead okay.”

Junsu nodded again. “What-what if I do it wrong?”

Yoochun smirked. “Then we kiss over and over again until you get it right.”

Junsu blushed and tried to look away, but Yoochun held him firmly, drew him closer, until their lips were again together. Yoochun didn’t move for a moment, and then his lips parted, only a bit, and Junsu copied the move, heart racing, breath still short. It felt like nothing that he was expecting. He was expecting it to be dirty, obscene, wrong, but it was soft, and gentle and it made Junsu feel like he was floating.

Yoochun opened his mouth a bit more, and again, Junsu followed each kiss, each movement and caress of lips on his. He shuddered when he felt the barest touch of a tongue on his lower lip, but it felt so good, so … so … good. It was the only word his befuddled brain could come up with.

Sooner than he wanted, Yoochun pulled away, and Junsu’s cheeks went red after he whimpered.

Yoochun smiled. “So? You like it?”

“Yes,” Junsu gasped. “A lot.”

“Well, you did pretty good, but I think you should practice a bit more. What do you think? More practice?”

“Please.”

Yoochun took Junsu’s hands and put them around his neck. Junsu blushed, unable to look up, as Yoochun’s arm went around his back, and then Yoochun’s lips were against his again, his tongue lapping at his lips. Junsu followed it all, followed as the tongue invaded his mouth and followed as Yoochun lowered them to the bed. Yoochun was shaking, or Junsu was, maybe they both were, but Junsu didn’t care. His mind was gone, swallowed in confused bliss growing stronger with every kiss Yoochun gave him.

It was the greatest feeling in the world.


	11. moving on

Jae continued to pace after Junsu left their room. He chewed on his fingernails, a habit he thought he’d outgrown, but it calmed him down a bit.

God, he should have just kissed the kid. But he couldn’t. There were already too many feelings crowding his head to add guilt and maybe something else for someone else to it. Maybe after he figured out what was going on with Changmin, he’d do it.

After a few minutes, he picked up his phone and texted Yoochun.

 **sexyBeauty** ~ Junsu asked me to kiss him and I didn’t. ~

 **sexyPianoMan** = OMG! WHAT? =

 **sexy Beauty** ~ I’m serious. I couldn’t do it. ~

 **sexyPianoMan** =OMG WHY THE FUCK NOT=

 **sexyBeauty** ~ he’s … so innocent, Chun. I’d feel guilty for corrupting him. He doesn’t deserve to have his first kiss taken by someone like me ~

 **sexyPianoMan** = what about by me *waggles eyebrows* =  
**sexyPianoMan** = he’s here you know, freaking out on Changmin’s bed, it is rather fetching and adorable =

 **sexyBeauty** ~ whatever man, just make it good for him, and don’t rape him ~

 **sexyPianoMan** = I won’t. Not yet anyway. *laughs* =

Jae pouted at the phone. Yoochun had fun with Changmin, and now he was having Junsu first, and who was Jae left with?

“Stop it,” he said aloud. “It’s not like Yoochun’s dating them.”

He turned to fall on his bed, but a piece of paper by his door caught his attention. He picked it up, and almost dropped it when he saw his name written in Yunho’s handwriting.

Shaking, he opened it and tried to read past the ache in his heart and the blurriness filling his eyes.

_~To my heart, my soul, my love  
Jaejoong, please, read this. I know you, and in a pouting fit, you’ll burn it. So if you feel like that, please just put it down and read it later._

Jae wiped his eyes. If Yunho had left this last night, he probably would have burned it.

_I’ve done the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life and walked away from you. I’m sorry. I know you’re hurting, I know you’re sad, and god, I want to hold you and make everything better, but I don’t think it can be better. At least, not with the two of us together.  
I remember the first time we fought about this, how your eyes were so cold and hard, but it didn’t last long, and you broke and cried and then wouldn’t let me touch you until I said I didn’t mean it.  
And then the second time, when you shouted at me for lying to you, because I said I didn’t mean it when I did mean it.  
You’re young and beautiful, Jaejoong. Nothing in this world is going to stop you from doing everything you want to do._

_But this is something that I need, too. You were always so focused on how I was trying to get rid of you to really listen to this part of my defense. You’re not the only one that needs to find themselves. I don’t know where I’m at in my life, or where I’m going. I had a great marriage while it lasted, and plenty of experiences before that. And the best love I could ask for after that. And yes, if you were older, or if I were younger, this letter would be pointless, but you’re not and I’m not, so it’s here.  
I’m going to quit my job, find something else that gets me out of the office and more involved with people.  
If we were meant to be, then we will be, but please don’t wait for it. Have fun. Changmin is incredibly attractive; be good to him. He likes you._

_I will always love you, you insufferable, bratty teenager. Work hard.  
Jaejoong Fighting!  
Sarangheyo ♥  
From your slightly senile old man~_

Jae cried. He curled up with his No-longer-smells-like-Yunho pillow and cried as he read the letter again and again and again. When he could see properly, he took out his cell phone and sent Yunho a text.

 **sexyBeauty** ~ I read your letter ~  
**sexyBeauty** ~ as soon as you realize that you don’t have to look for your place because you already have one, come find me ~  
**sexyBeauty** ~ I love you ♥ ~

Jaejoong blocked Yunho’s number.

~+~+~+~

Changmin stalked down the hallways. He was still so upset and he couldn’t tell who he was upset with. Himself, Yoochun, Jaejoong. All of them. He barely ate, he tried to study. But after the third time he’d been quieted by the librarian for grumbling too loudly, he left. At least in his room he could grumble all he wanted.

Neither of the two people on his bed noticed when the door opened. But they both jerked up when Changmin scoffed.

“God, at least fucking make out on your own bed,” Changmin snapped and then slammed the door again and leaned against it. It seemed that everyone he was kissing was kissing someone else the next time he saw them. The thought that it was Junsu underneath Yoochun didn’t really register until he was halfway down the hall.

Figures, though. Junsu had to cave sooner or later.

Changmin found himself in front of Jaejoong’s room. He sighed, raised his hand to knock and then let it fall. He liked Jaejoong so much, and the pain in his heart was his fault anyway. He’s the one who kissed Jaejoong first.

Changmin knocked.

“Come in.”

He opened the door and went right to Jaejoong’s desk and sat in the chair, spinning around to face him. He crossed his arms.

Jae bit his lower lip. “Um, hi.”

“Hi.”

They stared at each other and then Jae looked away. His eyes were puffy, his cheeks red.

“Have you been crying?”

“No,” Jae lied.

“What’s wrong?”

Jae shrugged. “I’m not sure I know anymore. But you’re mad at me, Yoochun is making out with Junsu, Yunho broke up with me and there’s a test on Monday worth twenty percent of our grade that I haven’t even started studying for.”

Changmin sighed. “I’m mad at you.”

“I know.”

“But I’m not sure if I have the right to be. You should be mad at me.”

“I’m not.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. I guess I should be mad at someone right now, but I’m really just upset with myself for fucking everything up with Yunho and you and Junsu.”

“Junsu is pretty happy right now,” Changmin said. “I mean, he’s kissing Yoochun, and Yoochun is a fantastic kisser.”

“Yeah, he is.”

“You’re better,” Changmin said with a smirk.

“That’s because I taught him.”

“Someone may have mentioned that you’re also better at sucking cock than he is.”

“Again,” Jae said with a smile, “that’s because I taught him.”

“And when was the last time you had someone compare, huh?”

Jae laughed. “Want me to suck your cock, Min?”

“Maybe.”

“I can’t do it when you’re all the way over there.”

Changmin raised a single eyebrow. “And why do I have to move?” He uncrossed his legs, slouched in the chair and put his hands behind his head. “Looks like there’s a perfect spot for you right there.”

Jae smiled, but bit his lip. “You sure?”

“Why not?”

Jae stood up and walked across the room. He kneeled between Changmin’s legs and put his hands just above Changmin’s knees. “I don’t want this to be just about sex, Min. Maybe it was at first, maybe it was all about teasing you and seeing if you would do it, but I like you.”

Changmin stared at him for a moment, and then said, “So because Yunho’s gone, then I’m okay to date now, not just to kiss and play around with.”

Jae sighed. “I’m sorry, Min. I hadn’t seen him in three weeks, and I love him more than my heart can handle. But I’ll get over it. I’ve always been a bit shallow.”

Changmin scoffed. “Well that’s helping your argument.”

Jae smiled. He leaned his head on Changmin’s knee and shut his eyes. Changmin looked at him for a moment, so docile, so hurt and confused. He ran his fingers through that burgundy hair. Jae sighed, arching into the touch.

“Kiss me,” Changmin whispered.

Jae’s eyes opened. “I like this though.”

“I can run my fingers through your hair while you kiss me.”

“True.” Jae straightened and leaned over Changmin’s body. Their lips met in a chaste kiss. Changmin ran all of his fingers through Jae’s hair as the kiss slowly evolved to include tongues and teeth.

“Much better than Yoochun,” Changmin whispered.

Jae grinned against his lips. “I know.”

Changmin sat up a bit and wrapped his arms around Jae’s waist, pulling him into his lap. Jae whimpered when his thigh brushed against Changmin’s erection. His fingers found the buttons of Changmin’s shirt. When Jae’s fingers fumbled on the fourth button, Changmin growled. He pushed Jae away and just pulled the shirt over his head.

Jaejoong grinned, eyes sparkling, and Changmin felt like he was being devoured by a gaze. And then Jae licked his lips and swallowed. Before Changmin could say anything, Jae’s mouth covered one of his nipples and he sucked hard.

Changmin cried out, and tangled his hands in Jae’s hair again. His breathing echoed harshly in his head as Jae’s mouth moved around up and over his chest and then slipped down to his stomach.

With only two fingers, Jae unbuttoned his jeans.

“I want to learn that,” Changmin whimpered as his zipper was lowered.

“All in good time, Minnie.”

Jae hooked his hands at the waistband of his jeans and tugged. Changmin lifted his hips and Jae pulled off pants and boxers at once.

“Holy mother of all that is sexy,” Jae said and before Changmin could be embarrassed at the look in his eyes while Jae stared at his cock, Jae leaned forward and licked him. Changmin sighed, moaned and slouched further, spreading his legs.

Jae took Changmin’s cock in his hand. Almost reverently, he wrapped his tongue around the tip, pulling another moan from Changmin’s throat. The pressure stayed light, only teasing licks around the head and slit. His hand shook as it settled on Jae’s head, fingers tangling in his hair. As soon as he could breathe properly, Jae added more pressure, and slipped the tip into his mouth.

Changmin cried out and tugged on his hair. He wasn’t sure why, but Jae’s mouth, even just at the tip of his cock, felt amazing, like the muscles in his mouth knew exactly when to constrict and relax to give Changmin the utmost pleasure.

A bit more slid into Jae’s mouth, and then more, and more, and more and Jae’s tongue kept moving and swirling and it felt like every single square of skin on his cock was being licked at the same time.

Yoochun had only taken a little more than half him, but Jae didn’t stop, didn’t stop moaning and whimpering as more and more of Changmin’s cock disappeared into his mouth and throat, the tip scraping deliciously against muscles and slickness and firmness.

“Oh, fuck, Jaejoong.”

Jae hummed in question, and Changmin cried out, hips thrusting up, cock pushing deeper into Jaejoong’s throat.

“Oh god, oh shit,” Changmin said as his orgasm twisted through him. “Jae, please, it’s too much.”

Jae met his eyes, and even if his mouth was full of cock, he smirked.

Without looking away from Changmin, Jae relaxed his throat and pushed his head down, taking all of Changmin. Changmin yanked on this hair, bucked up until Jae’s lips touched his body and with a slight tightening of Jaejoong’s throat, Changmin came, practically screaming as Jae moved his mouth up and down his cock, swallowing Changmin’s release.

Changmin fell boneless against the back of the chair. His fingers traced around Jae’s cheek in a lazy circle while Jae continued to suck on him. He shivered and said, “Too sensitive.”

Jae grinned and let him fall from his mouth. “Told you I was better than Yoochun.”

Changmin nodded. “Much better.”

Jae stood up and took Changmin’s hands in his. “Come on. I’m going to teach you how to do it.”  
  
~+~+~+~

Yunho’s phone vibrated. He checked around him for traffic or errant drivers and then fished his phone out of his pocket as it vibrated again. He glanced at the name and smiled.

 **sexyBeauty** ~ I read your letter ~  
**sexyBeauty** ~ as soon as you realize that you don’t have to look for your place because you already have one, come find me ~  
**sexyBeauty** ~ I love you ♥ ~

He quickly typed a reply of I love you and put the phone in his lap. It vibrated again almost immediately

_Status: Undeliverable. Please try again._

Yunho tried again, and received the same reply. He had full bars, he knew there was reception in Jae’s dorms. Well, he’d wait until he wasn’t driving.

A few minutes later, it hit him, and he gasped and had to blink and clear his vision to keep from wrecking.

Jaejoong had blocked him.

He didn’t want to believe it, but when he reread Jae’s messages that had sounded like a goodbye. He’d try again, and then text Yoochun to confirm.

In the meantime, he sent another text to the newest number in his phone.

 **Yunho** \+ call me if you’re not busy +  
**Donghae** ^ give me ten minutes ^


	12. losing innocence

“You okay?” Jae asked from across the room.

Junsu’s eyes were shut tight, his chest rising and falling quickly. He managed a nod. God, it’d been three days. Three days of kissing Yoochun whenever they could, holding him and falling asleep with him and Junsu wanted more. He knew that Yoochun was getting frustrated with him, not that he’d ever admit it, but Junsu sort of freaked out a bit whenever Yoochun tried to do more than just kiss him.

“Liar. Out with it,” Jae demanded and the bed dipped.

Things were … awkward with them, but not. Yoochun had explained the reasons why Jae hadn’t kissed Junsu when he had asked, but it didn’t make it better.

Junsu opened his eyes. “Yoochun’s getting impatient with me.”

Jae nodded. “A little, but he understands. Scared?”

“Very.”

“Well, do you want more than kisses?”

Junsu swallowed. “I think so, but when … when he touches me, I panic.”

“Why?”

His eyes shut with a sigh.

“You’re still battling your moral dilemma, huh?”

“Yes, but … it’s more that I don’t know what he’s going to do and it’s scary.”

Jae smiled. “Then you need to practice.”

“What?”

“Practice. Come on, you’re a singer. Same thing. You have to rehearse before the big show.”

“Jaejoong, this is totally different.”

“No it’s not. Budge over.” Jae shoved him and lay next to him.

“Um, Jaejoong, I—”

Jae rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to kiss you or anything, just show you what to do. Straddle my lap.”

“Jae—“

Jae grabbed Junsu and pulled his body over his. “Do it. I’m trying to help you.”

Junsu swallowed nervously, but straddled Jae’s lap. Yoochun had been over him like this just yesterday, and that’s the worst Junsu had freaked.

“If you’re afraid of what Yoochun is going to do to you, then you’re going to have to do what you’re comfortable with, okay? You can’t always let him control things.” Jae settled his hands on Junsu’s hips. “Unbutton my shirt.”

“Why?”

Jae rolled his eyes again. “Just do it.”

Junsu bit his lower lip and with shaking hands, unbuttoned Jae’s shirt, revealing his amazing abs and chest.

Jae took his wrists and very carefully pressed Junsu’s hands to his chest. “Always start with touching,” Jae said and moved Junsu’s hands until Junsu was doing it himself. “Most of the time, guys nipples are sensitive. It’s an erogenous zone, turns them on. But if you really want to drive Yoochun insane, concentrate your fingers tips right here, just below his ribs. He loves that. Or kiss him there, lick him, but only if you’re comfortable with it.”

Panic built in Junsu’s body as he felt what Yoochun had called lust coil through him. Jae’s body was amazing.

Jae shut his eyes with a whimper as Junsu trailed his fingertips up and down Jae’s stomach. “Yeah, that’s good.”

“Then what?”

Jae grinned. “Then you kiss him. I know you can do that.”

“I like to kiss him.”

“After that, well, it’s up to you how far you want to take it, but always take your time, Su. Yoochun may be getting impatient, but he’s not going to force you.”

“I … I don’t know what else to do though.”

“Kiss his skin, Su. Right now, that’s all you need to do. Even along his arms is sensitive. If you want to, unbutton his pants. That’d be the next step. You don’t have to stroke him off or anything, if you don’t want to, but just doing things like this will let him know that you want more. Now, get off me before you make me hornier.”

Junsu blushed and hastily retreated from Jae’s lap. Sure enough, there was a bulge in his pants.

“Go wait for Yoochun in his room, and tell Changmin to come here,” Jae said as he stood up. He discarded the shirt, tossing it over the back of his chair.

Junsu bit his lip as he watched Jae take his pants off, leaving him in tight blue boxers briefs. He climbed off the bed as Jae fell into his. Jae cupped his crotch, moaning, and Junsu shut his eyes for a moment. He left quickly, panting a bit, and barreled into Yoochun and Changmin’s room.

“Jae wants you,” he said to Changmin.

Changmin scoffed and didn’t look up from his textbook. “So? I’m studying.”

“He’s practically naked on his bed, touching himself,” Junsu said as a blush rose through his cheeks.

Changmin looked up at him, and then smiled slowly. “Oh, that kind of wanting.” Changmin slammed his book shut, and then winked at Junsu. “Have fun with Yoochun.”

Junsu blushed.

He stood in the middle of the room after Changmin had left and wondered what the hell he was doing. At times like this, his moral conscience got the best of him, reminding him of the sins he was committing, just for wanting to kiss Yoochun. But then he’d remember kissing Yoochun and want it even more, pushing his morality aside.

He took a stabilizing breath, and then made a decision. He wasn’t sure what he was comfortable doing with Yoochun, but Jae was right. Yoochun would never force him, and Yoochun had no problem showing him how things were done.

Junsu unbuttoned his shirt and lay down in Yoochun’s bed.

He was so nervous.

Jae had said that nipples were sensitive. As an experiment, he brushed a fingertip over one of his nipples. It ripped a gasp from him as his skin shivered. He did the other one, adding more pressure. His head spun as he imagined Yoochun doing this to him.

He jerked in surprise when the door shut. He looked up and then blushed, looking away from Yoochun’s smile as he tried to cover his chest up.

Yoochun was quick to move to the bed, grabbing his wrists to stop him. He didn’t say anything, which Junsu was eternally grateful for, just leaned down and kissed him, softly, belying the shaking grip of his hands.

Junsu swallowed, nerves on high alert. But Jae had said, be firm, be in control, so Junsu pulled away and said, “L-lie down.”

“Why?”

Junsu blushed deeper as his said, “J-just do it.”

Yoochun smirked. “Okay.” He rolled over Junsu’s body so he was between him and the wall. Junsu took one more stabilizing breath and then straddled Yoochun’s waist. Just like Jae had done, Yoochun’s hands immediately landed on Junsu’s hips.

Junsu couldn’t do it, yet, couldn’t unbutton that shirt, so he leaned down and kissed Yoochun. Yes, kissing he could do, but as their lips moved together, Junsu realized there was something different about this kiss. It was like … like, Yoochun was waiting for him.

He was in control. He’d never been in control of their kisses before. Testing his theory, Junsu tentatively swiped his tongue over Yoochun’s lips. Yoochun whimpered, opening his mouth and responding to the kiss, following what Junsu did, the speed and intensity.

Junsu didn’t think it was possible for his head to get any lighter or his body to get any more on edge. And suddenly he couldn’t kiss Yoochun anymore. He broke away and sat up, hands on Yoochun’s chest. And not until he shifted did Junsu realize that he had sat right on Yoochun’s crotch, his erection pressed against Junsu’s ass. He’d felt Yoochun hard before, but always on his leg or side. And he’d been hard before, but not like this, strained so tight against his clothes that every movement of his body made his penis jerk.

His cheeks turned bright red and he couldn’t open his eyes.

“Su?” Yoochun whispered, hands tightening at his hips.

“Minute,” is the only word he could mutter.

Yoochun’s hands slid up and down his hips and sides, making it even more difficult for Junsu to think. A little voice that sounded like Jaejoong said, “Sometimes it’s okay not to think, to just go with it.”

So Junsu went with it. He opened his eyes and hands shaking, unbuttoned the first button of Yoochun’s shirt.

Yoochun gasped, but said nothing, hands continuing their path over his hips.

Junsu bit his lip in concentration as the second and third buttons were released, but by the forth, his hands were shaking so badly that he couldn’t continue. He figured it was good enough, and did as Jaejoong suggest. He pressed his lips to the patch of skin he’d revealed under the shirt.

Yoochun moaned. “Fuck, Junsu.”

His hips rose from the bed, pressing his erection into Junsu’s body again. Junsu squeezed his eyes shut and moved his lips along Yoochun’s collar bone. Yoochun’s hands left his hips and slid between their bodies. He leaned into the kiss and then slipped his shirt from his shoulder. Junsu whimpered as the hands that had been on cloth now landed on skin. He jerked away from Yoochun’s lips for a moment and stared at his body. A body he’d already seen naked so many times., but now it was so much different, under his fingers, begging to be touched.

Junsu followed Jaejoong’s advice, just touching, over his shoulder and chest, down his stomach. And then he dragged his fingers over the area just below Yoochun’s ribs. Yoochun moaned and shut his eyes, neck arching as Junsu followed fingertips with finger nails, scraping over the skin.

“Someone has been talking to Jaejoong,” Yoochun said with a smile.

Junsu flushed, and wouldn’t meet his eyes, but he kept touching. Junsu had no idea how long he did, how long his hands were against Yoochun’s skin. He was hyperaware of the whimpers and deep breaths escaping the man below him.

Junsu leaned down and pressed his lips against Yoochun’s collar bone again. His tremors were now more from pleasure than from nerves, but they were no less violent.

“Lick, lick and suck and bite, Su, don’t just kiss,” Yoochun whispered.

With barely a thought, Junsu did as Yoochun said, licking down his chest, biting at the muscle. Yoochun cried out when Junsu’s tongue went over his nipple, and then he swore, bucking up into Junsu’s body as Junsu bit down around the bud. When Junsu’s lips finally found the sensitive spots of Yoochun’s stomach, Yoochun’s hands slid under his shirt.  
Junsu whimpered as the cool skin pressed against his heated body, rubbed up and down his back, and then Yoochun yanked at his shirt, until Junsu moved and let him take it off.

“Okay, fuck,” Yoochun said, dominate again. “That’s enough, fuck, Su.”

Junsu sat up, hurt in his eyes, and Yoochun quickly touched his face in apology.

“I need to stop now, because if you keep being all innocent and cute and sexy like this, I may not be able to stop myself later.”

“Was it okay?”

“Yeah.” With hands on Junsu’s hips, Yoochun rocked him back and forth. “Anytime a guy gets an erection means it was okay.”

Junsu smiled. “I … I was scared.”

“I know, but you did great. So great that I am going to jerk myself off.”

Junsu blushed and his eyes went wide.

Yoochun chuckled. “You can stay and watch if you want to. You seem to be about two strokes away from coming anyway. I can show you how to do it.”

Junsu swallowed.

Yoochun sat up, arms around Junsu’s body. “Look, Su. All this pent up pleasure is going to drive you insane, you have to release it. Just watch me okay? You don’t have to do anything, and you don’t have to touch me or touch yourself, but you should know how it’s done. Is that okay?”

Junsu shut his eyes for a moment, Yoochun kissed him softly. He whimpered and then nodded his head. “It’s not like I haven’t already seen you naked,” Junsu said.

Yoochun laughed as he moved out from under Junsu. He lay between the wall and Junsu, unbuckled his pants and took his clothes off. He shut his eyes with a deep moan when his fingers wrapped around his cock.

“Fuck that was hot, Su. Remind me to thank Jaejoong for telling you what to do to me. Fuck.”

Junsu tried not to look, listening to Yoochun breath, and the sound of his hand rubbing his penis. He tried not to look, but he did anyway. Yoochun’s penis was long and hard in his hand, the tip a deep red, and glistening in the light. Junsu had the strongest urge to touch it, just to see what it felt like. Whenever his cock grew hard, he did as he was taught and didn’t touch it at all, because that made the feelings and the temptation worse. Swallowing, he reached out, tentatively and touched the head of Yoochun’s penis.

Yoochun moaned, hand faltering and Junsu snatched his hand back.

“S-s-sorry,” he whispered, and tried to move away, but Yoochun snagged his arm.

“God, don’t be sorry,” Yoochun said, and his hand sped up. “You can touch me all you want, Su.”

“Does it hurt?” Junsu asked.

“No.”

“It looks like it hurts.”

Yoochun smiled through his deep breaths. “If I wasn’t doing anything to my cock, then yeah, it would hurt, but right now, with you watching me, it feels so good. It felt really good when you touched me.”

Junsu’s own erection was trapped in his pants, and it hurt, and ached and he wanted to touch himself. “Mine hurts,” he whispered.

“That’s because you’re not touching it. Think of it as … fuck,” Yoochun stopped stroking. “I can’t fucking concentrate when I’m jerking off.” He took a few deep breaths, and said, “Think of it as a soda bottle, Su. You shake it up, and the pressure builds up and what happens when you relieve that pressure?”

Junsu opened his mouth, and then closed it as the images filled his mind.

“The pressure is just going to build and build unless you release it.” Yoochun put his hand back around his cock.

Without taking his eyes away from Yoochun, Junsu nervously put his hand against his crotch, hissing when the cloth rubbed over his erection, but the hiss was good, not one of pain and that feeling he spent most of his life trying to get rid of, filled him up. He rubbed again, a small moan escaping his lips.

Yoochun echoed his moan. “Feel good?”

“Yes.”

“It’ll feel a hundred times better if you have your hand on your cock, and not through clothes.”

Junsu bit his lip. He met Yoochun’s eyes, and then looked away at the feral lust in them.

“I—I … can I touch you again?”

Yoochun scoffed. “Fuck yes.”

Junsu reached out and touched the tip of Yoochun’s penis again. It was surprisingly soft as he pushed down. His finger caught on the clear liquid and slid over the head, and into the slit at the top. Junsu blushed at the moan that came out of Yoochun’s mouth, but he didn’t pull his hand away. He rubbed the entire top of Yoochun’s cock with his finger, his own body pulsed, eager, and then there was pressure against his front and he moaned as Yoochun pressed his palm on his crotch.

“Come on, Su,” Yoochun whispered. “It will feel good. I promise.”

Junsu met his eyes briefly and then lay back on the bed. Shaking, he unbuttoned his pants and slipped them down his thighs. He stared at his own erection, no less red and hard than Yoochun’s. He’d never really looked before, but kept his eyes shut and his hands away from his body.

“Touch yourself, Su, come on.”

Junsu swallowed again, and looked at Yoochun. Yoochun was looking at Junsu’s body, licking his lips and Junsu blushed, embarrassed, and he tried to cover up, but Yoochun’s hand stopped him.

“Just try it.”

Junsu nodded, and took a deep breath to steady himself. He looked at Yoochun, how he had his hand wrapped loosely around his penis, and tried to copy it, thumb on the underside, fingers curled around the rest.

“Oh,” Junsu said, eyes widening at the foreign feeling of pleasure.

“Stroke, up and down,” Yoochun whispered.

Junsu did, and his eyes shut as another moan coursed through him. It felt good, god, it felt so good, as his skin scraped over skin. The pleasure, lust, urge and need that he fought hard to suppress, filled every cubic centimeter of his body. No amount of praying or will power was going to get rid of it now.

The hand not on his penis reached for something, for some type of anchor against the feeling of being tossed in circles. It landed on Yoochun’s leg and he squeezed as each new wave of pleasure blurred his mind and vision.

“Yoo-Yoochun, it’s … I—can’t … Yoochun.”

“Don’t stop, Su. Just … don’t stop.”

Junsu whimpered, mentally demanding how the hell he was supposed to stop because that was the problem, he needed to stop, wanted to, but he couldn’t, and wouldn’t. Everything was so full, too much, too hard and too good. So good. The fingers on Yoochun’s leg tightened, a scream was ripped from his throat.

“Yoo-Yoochun!”

A blinding white pleasure clouded everything around him, and his penis jerked in his hand, and something shot from it, each pulse throwing another stab of pleasure through his body, and warm liquid landed on his stomach.

He whimpered as the pleasure faded, and the tightness in his limbs and body released and he couldn’t move, hand still around his penis.

Lips pressed against his, and Junsu moaned, whimpered again as he tried to follow Yoochun’s kiss.

“That was beyond sexy,” Yoochun whispered, and then he pulled away.

As Junsu gasped, trying to get a handle on his emotions and guilt and self-deprecation, he realized that Yoochun was moaning, and he opened his eyes. Yoochun was still stroking himself, fast now, his other hand holding his balls down. Junsu licked his lips, because he knew now what Yoochun was feeling, and god, no wonder he and Changmin were moaning so much the other night. It felt so fucking good.

Junsu forced his body to move and very carefully, he ran his fingertips on that spot below Yoochun’s ribs.

“Fuck!” Yoochun shouted, eyes squeezed shut.

Junsu kissed Yoochun’s neck, and then on his collar bone, gaining confidence as Yoochun’s moans and curses increased.

“Kiss me, Su. Fuck. Kiss me, please.”

Junsu obliged, but after the initial press of lips, Yoochun forced his tongue in Junsu’s mouth, harsh and desperate, moaning and biting. His body shook and he broke away from Junsu’s lips with a loud cry.

Junsu watched, as Yoochun’s hips lifted off the bed. White streams of fluid spurted from his cock and landed wet and heavy on his stomach. Yoochun whimpered through the pumps, slowing his hand down until only a dollop of white pearled from the slit.

Junsu looked at his own body, embarrassed when he saw similar pools of white dripping over his muscles.

“Oh, god, that was hot,” Yoochun said. He brought his hand up to his mouth and licked the stuff from his fingers, scooping more from his body.

Junsu licked his lips. “What does it taste like?”

Yoochun grinned, and held out his finger. “Taste it and find out.”

Blushing, Junsu licked Yoochun’s finger, and made a face.

“You’ll get used to it,” Yoochun said with a laugh. He smirked at Junsu and then before Junsu knew what was happening, Yoochun’s fingers scraped across his stomach and then he was licking Junsu’s come from them.

Junsu really blushed and turned away from Yoochun’s wanton moan of satisfaction.

God, that was so wrong, it was all so wrong, but it had felt so good.

After a moment of silence, Yoochun whispered, “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Junsu muttered. “Just battling.”

Yoochun spooned up behind him and Junsu blushed at the feel of naked skin on his. Yoochun’s lips pressed against his neck.

“So, since you got to lick and bite my chest and stuff, will you let me do it to you now?”  
Junsu swallowed.

“And if you want to, instead of stroking ourselves, we can stroke each other.”

Junsu’s eyes shut at the images and wondered what it would feel like to have Yoochun’s hand on his cock. He knew that he shouldn’t, but if he was already going to hell for what he just did, he might as well do it again.


	13. finding pleasure

Changmin lay on his bed, arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He was breathing deeply, trying to get rid of his damn erection without jerking off since Yoochun was sitting at his desk. He wanted to go run to Jaejoong for a fantastic blowjob, but he’d been over there only a few hours before. His mouth still tasted like come.

He sighed.

“What’s wrong with you, Min? Besides the tenting of the pants?” Yoochun said and laughed.

Changmin flipped him off.

“Is that an offer?”

Changmin scoffed. “Not for you.”

Yoochun pushed away from the desk and rolled over to Changmin’s bed. “Ooh, are you going to finally lose your gay-ginity?”

Changmin cursed himself for the blush that covered his cheeks.

“Why are you embarrassed about that?”

Changmin sighed again. “I don’t … I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you scared or something? God, the last three days I’ve heard nothing from Jaejoong about how fucking awesome your cock is and how he can’t fucking wait to get fucked by it.”

“That’s just it,” Changmin said. “I … I’ve never done that and what if it’s not good?”

“You want some tips or something? What to do and stuff?”

“No. I watch enough porn to know what to do. But what if Jae doesn’t like it?”

Yoochun scoffed. “Jae is going to love it, no matter what happens. He likes you, Changmin. He wants you so badly, and I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t prepped himself and sat on your cock himself, but he doesn’t want to pressure you. You’ve been with Jae enough the last few days, you should know that.”

“I know … but what if I’m bad?”

“You won’t be. You’re a quick learner.”

Changmin sighed. “I don’t know … I—”

Yoochun was suddenly straddling his lap, rocking against his hard on. “We can practice if you want.”

Changmin shoved him away and sat up as Yoochun laughed.

“Look, Min, just … the best thing you can do is talk to Jae. Let him tell you what to do, and if you’re uncomfortable with something, tell him. Honesty in sex always makes it better.”

Changmin opened his mouth and shut it.

Yoochun grinned. “I’m right. Don’t even try to argue.”

“Don’t you have class?”

“Don’t you have homework?”

Changmin flipped him off again, but moved to his desk. The reminder of the paper he had due in less than a week was a definite cock-softener.

Yoochun moved behind him and put his arms around Changmin’s shoulders. “Jae’s my best friend, Changmin. I’ve never seen him like how he is with you.”

“What about Yunho?”

Yoochun chuckled. “I took sexy pictures of Jaejoong fucking himself with a dildo and sent them to Yunho while he was at work. I tied Jaejoong up to the coffee table with a cock ring on and a gag in his mouth and when Yunho came home, he spanked Jae until Jae couldn’t sit down and then Yunho fucked him. Yunho had fucked him senseless before they ever kissed. Not exactly the same thing that he has with you.”

“He loves Yunho.”

“So? He loves me, too.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Nor is it the same as your relationship with him.”

“I feel sort of used,” Changmin whispered.

Yoochun hugged him. “Then you need to tell Jaejoong that. Not me. I’m going to be late. Go talk to him.” Yoochun kissed his cheek, and left Changmin with his thoughts. Thoughts he didn’t want to have.

He tried in vain to concentrate on his homework, and in a matter of an hour, he wrote three sentences on his paper about musical theory.

The door slammed open.

“Jae wants you,” Junsu said, gasping a bit.

Changmin scoffed and didn’t look up from his textbook. “So? I’m studying.”

“He’s practically naked on his bed, touching himself.”

Changmin looked up at him, and then smiled slowly, seeing the blush on his cheeks. “Oh, that kind of wanting.” Changmin slammed his book shut, and then winked at Junsu. “Have fun with Yoochun.”

Junsu’s blush deepened.

Changmin walked down the hall, building his resolve to talk to Jaejoong and not just jump him. He opened the door quietly and was met with a whimper and a moan. Jae was on his bed, wearing only bright blue boxer briefs. His hand cupped his covered cock.

“About time,” Jae whimpered.

“You’re just impatient,” Changmin said and crossed his arms. He couldn’t hide how much this turned him on, watching Jaejoong’s beautiful body shake under his own ministrations.

Jae smiled. “Yeah. Come and kiss me.”

“In a second.” Changmin took his clothes off. Jae’s eyes were full of hunger as Changmin climbed on the bed and hovered over his body. He took Jaejoong’s wrists in his hands and pinned them above Jae’s head. “Your best friend says I have to tell you this even though it’s embarrassing, but that you’ll understand.”

“My best friend knows me best. What’s up?”

“I want to fuck you but I’m scared that I won’t be good enough for you.”

Jae’s eyes went wide and he whimpered and tried to free his hands. “Changmin.”

“No. I’m not letting you go until I’m done talking.”

“Okay, but you know this is turning me on, right? Being dominated is what I live for.”

Changmin smirked. “Good thing I don’t like to give up control easily then, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Now talk and then fuck me.”

“You’ve been with a lot of people, Jae, but I’m really worried about being a substitute for Yunho. I don’t want to be and I know you don’t want me to be, but if that’s all I’m going to be if I fuck you, then I think we should wait.”

“It’s not like I’m going to call you Yunho in the middle of it. I have never called anyone by another name. It’s a gift, keeping all those names straight.”

“Are you going to make jokes about it?”

“Sorry, Min,” Jae said with a small smile. “I like you. It’s … it’s weird for me to like someone. I’m not even sure if I’m doing this whole ‘trying to be your boyfriend’ thing right. I’ve never had a normal relationship or a normal boyfriend or anything. My relationship with Yunho was long, but it was far from normal.”

Changmin held his gaze for a long time, contemplating and thinking. “I really like you, too,” he finally said. “Tell me what to do.”

Jae smiled. “Kiss me.”

Changmin leaned down and kissed him. When Jae tried to free his arms again, Changmin tightened his grip. Jae whimpered into the kiss. His legs moved. Before Jae could raise them to wrap around Changmin’s waist, Changmin entwined their legs and pinned them to the bed. The next noise out of Jaejoong mouth was part moan, part whimper, part desire, part plea, and Changmin’s hard cock swelled and pulsed. He was very glad he’d already gotten off once today or that noise would have made him come and embarrass himself more.

Jae tried to pull away from Changmin’s lips, but Changmin wouldn’t relent.

“Lube,” Jae managed between kisses, “drawer.”

Changmin nodded, kissed him for a few more seconds and then released him. There were bright red fingerprints on his wrists and Changmin opened his mouth to apologize, but Jae smiled and shook his head.

“I like it. Don’t be sorry.”

Changmin bit his lip, but nodded and rolled off the bed.

“Top drawer. Pick a flavor, and a toy if you want.”

Changmin blushed when he open d the drawer and saw all the toys. Plugs and dildos and blindfolds and whips and vibrators and cock rings and gags and—

“It’s good you came to college prepared,” Changmin said and grabbed a bottle of strawberry lube.

Jae laughed.

When he turned around, Jae was as he left him, arms still above his head, legs still spread.

There must have been a questioning look on his face, because as he came back to the bed, Jae smirked and said, “You didn’t tell me I could move.”

Changmin swallowed. “Fuck. I’m going to embarrass myself.”

“So, let’s get round one over really quickly and then I can start teaching you techniques.”

“Sounds good.”

Jae smirked again. “Can I move yet?”

“No.”

Changmin hooked his fingers at the waistband of Jae’s boxers and tugged them off. Jae arched as his fingers scraped across his hipbones. Changmin kept his fingers there, rubbing up and down the muscles, not touching Jae’s straining erection.

“Do-do you know-fuck, prep and stuff?” Jae stammered.

“Yeah.”

Jae nodded. “Whenever you’re ready then.”

Changmin scratched his hipbones, pulling a cry from Jae’s throat. He left red marks all the way down Jae’s thighs.

“How do you want this?” Changmin asked.

“Like this, with you kissing me, or biting me or-”

Changmin transferred his grip to Jae’s knees and pushed them up. Jae shifted his body and, without his hands, stayed in that position when Changmin let him go. Changmin swallowed and looked at Jae’s body, hard cock, pink, puckered entrance, smooth, creamy skin. He dipped his head down and licked the curves of Jae’s ass. Jae cried out something that sound like his name. Changmin covered fingers in lube, and with his tongue exploring the space between his balls and ass, he pressed a finger into Jae’s willing body. It tightened around him for a moment as Jae moaned and then relaxed, and Changmin pushed until his finger was completely inside Jaejoong.

“More, please,” Jae whispered, eyes shut tight. His thighs were already shaking, body straining to hold himself where Changmin had put him.

Changmin twisted his finger. Over the last three days, he’d researched everything he could on anal sex and how to do it and as an experiment, crooked his finger as he moved it in and out of Jae’s body.

“Other way,” Jae said. “Turn your finger the other way.”

A different feeling brushed under his finger, and Jae moaned.

“Right there, baby.”

“Does it feel good?” Changmin asked, blushing a bit at the worry in his voice.

“Yeah. The prostate always feels good. It won’t be enough to get me to come, but, god, it’s like little tingles of electricity are shooting through my nervous system.”

Changmin smiled and went back to licking Jae’s skin, his inner thighs, and balls and up his cock and down his ass. Strawberry flavor filled his mouth as he licked around his finger.

“Oh, god, Min, please.”

Changmin poured a bit more lube on his fingers, and then pressed a second one into Jaejoong’s body. Jae sighed in complete and utter satisfaction. Changmin continued to play, spread his fingers and twist them and lick around them.

“Can I touch myself?” Jae whimpered. “Please let me, please.”

Changmin sighed in mock irritation. “No.”

Jae’s whine changed to a scream when Changmin engulfed his cock, gagging when he took too much at once. He pumped his fingers faster, added a third when Jae begged for more.

“Fuck me now, please, fuck me now, please, please, please.”

Changmin let Jae’s leaking cock fall from his mouth. “If I told you to shut up would you?”

“Yes.”

After another twist of his fingers, he removed them. Jae followed them with his hungry eyes and Changmin pressed them again his mouth. Jae moaned, licking around them and sucking them into his mouth. Changmin shivered. He adjusted, up to his knees and covered his cock in lube. A low moan tore from his throat as he fisted the sensitive skin. He watched Jae’s hole clench for him. A pleading whimper came from Jae’s mouth.

Changmin took one more steadying breath and then held his cock against Jae’s entrance and pushed. They both moaned as Changmin’s cock forced its way past the tight ring of muscle, and then cried out as Changmin slid deeper.

“Fuck!” Jae cried, neck arching.

Changmin’s eyes crossed as Jae clenched around him. He tried to pull out and at Jae’s whimper pushed back in, deeper than he had been.

“Oh, god, Min, I knew your cock was going to feel amazing.”

Changmin squeezed his eyes shut as Jaejoong seemed to pull him even deeper. He wasn’t going to last long. He was already fighting off his orgasm, but after a few shallow thrusts and his body pressed against Jae’s, his cock buried completely inside him, Changmin’s body shuddered and his control shattered, and he came, falling over Jae’s body, covering his scream with a kiss.

Jae whimpered.

Panic built in Changmin’s body as Jae continued to lie there, gasping, and then he remembered that Jae wasn’t allowed to touch him.

“Hold me,” Changmin whispered into his lips and immediately and with a quiet moan, Jae’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, his legs went around Changmin’s waist, pulling their bodies together. Changmin’s breath steadied.

Jae moved his hips, and Changmin’s cock moved in and out of Jae’s body.

Changmin moaned as shocks of pleasures whipped through his body.

“More?” Jae asked.

“Give me a moment.”

Jae’s fingers traced up and over his back and shoulder muscles, tangling in his hair. Changmin’s mouth closed around a spot on Jae’s neck. He pulled back after a moment and met Jae’s lips in a kiss. And Changmin decided that even if he was a replacement for Yunho and even if Jae’s heart ached for the other man, that he’d always be there for Jaejoong.

“We have a really big paper due in fives days,” Changmin whispered as he slowly rocked his hips.

Jae groaned. “Yes, we do.”

“We should get started on it.”

“Yes, we should.”

Changmin pushed up to his hands, body hovering over Jaejoong’s. He thrust in and out of Jae’s body roughly. Jae cried out, fingers digging into his back muscles.

“We should really get cleaned up and go to the library and start research,” Changmin said, words labored as pleasure immediately twisted through his skin.

“You should shut up and fuck me harder.”

Changmin laughed. He leaned down, kissed Jae’s lips briefly and said, “Whatever you want, beautiful,” and fucked Jaejoong harder.

“Can I touch myself now?” Jae begged, licking Changmin’s jaw and up his ear.

“Yes, fast, I’m going to come again.” Changmin’s eyes shut tight.

As soon as Jaejoong stroked his cock, his body tensed around Changmin and Changmin cried out, speeding up, slamming into him with longer thrusts, almost pulling out of his body.

“Fuck, Minnie! Fuck!”

“Come, Jae,” Changmin said, voice bordering on desperate.

“Almost, fuck, almost.”

A second orgasm ripped through Changmin and pumped into Jae’s body. His elbow collapsed as he cried out, but he kept himself up and moving, thrusting until Jae threw his head back, screamed and came between their bodies.

Then Changmin landed on top of him.

Jae chuckled through his laughter. “Feel good?”

“So good,” Changmin muttered.

“Got another round in you?”

Changmin tilted his head up to look in Jaejoong’s eyes. “You weren’t planning on being able to walk tomorrow, were you?”

“Nope.”

“Then yes, I have another round in me.”

Jae laughed, their lips met again, and they lay together, still connected until Changmin was ready for more.


	14. the visit home

“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Yoochun asked again.

Jae rolled his eyes. “Yes. I’ll be fine. It’s not like you’re going to be gone forever. I can live without you for three days. Don’t think your SuSu can though.”

They both looked over at the guy in question. Junsu was pacing. His parents were on their way to pick him up for the long weekend.

Yoochun sighed. “The kid is not good at lying. I’m going to be surprised if he shows back up.”

“What?”

“He said if his parents found out, they’d take them to a special school that is set up to get rid of gayness.”

Jae looked at Yoochun for a moment and burst out laughing. “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head.

“They have schools for that?”

“Yeah.”

“Yoochun!” Junsu suddenly shouted and was across the quad and hugging him tightly. “They’re going to kill me. I’m going to hell, I … shit, I’m in so much trouble, they’ll never let me repent for this and they’re going to know and oh my god, what am I supposed to do?”

Yoochun held him tightly and whispered reassurances in his ear. Jae smiled, and then yelped when someone slapped his ass.

“Changmin, you fucker!” Jae said and punched him in the shoulder.

Changmin smirked.

“I hate it when you do that.”

Both Changmin and Yoochun scoffed.

“Okay, so I hate it when you do it outside of the bedroom,” Jae said.

“My parents are waiting. You want to meet them?”

Jae stopped breathing. “Are you insane? No.”

Changmin looked hurt, but Yoochun said quickly, “Jae, don’t be an ass.”

Jae softened his glare and said, “I …”

“You’re my friend, hyung,” Changmin said. “That’s all they know. That’s all they’ll ever know.”

“Pussy,” Yoochun sang, and Jaejoong glared at him.

“Fine,” he snapped and grabbed Changmin’s elbow and dragged him toward a red car. There was a tall man, a shorter woman and a little girl. The little girl spotted Changmin and squealed.

“Oppa!” She launched herself at him, and Changmin caught her and spun her in a circle.

“MinJi! How’s my grown up girl?”

“I miss you!”

“I miss you!”

MinJi looked at Jaejoong and her eyes went wide. “You’re pretty,” she said.

“Thank you,” Jaejoong replied.

“MinJi, this is Jaejoong. He’s my friend.”

“It’s good to meet you, Jaejoong-shi.”

Jaejoong smiled at her and then Changmin walked over to his parents. Jae was never good with parents. His reputation in his home area was well documented, and he was a bit blown away when Changmin’s parents greeted him and he bowed ninety degrees trying to formulate how to talk to them, but Changmin’s mom went on and on about how Changmin was talking about Jaejoong who was so nice to him and took care of him and treated him like a real friend, and it made Jaejoong blush and then suddenly it was over and Changmin hugged him tightly.

Arms shaking, Jae hugged him back.

“Three days without me,” Changmin whispered. “When I get back, your ass better be ready for me.”

Jae chuckled. “It will be. Lubed and stretched with me on my stomach waiting for you.”

Changmin shivered and then pushed him away, landing a quick kiss to his cheek.

Jae waited until Changmin and his family had driven away, little MinJi turning to wave goodbye. He went back to YooSu. Yoochun held Junsu’s shaking body tightly.

“God, my parents are going to kill me,” Junsu muttered again.

“Well, if you don’t let me go and they drive up, you’re going to have to—”

Junsu eeped and pushed away from him. “Oh my god, I’m going to die.” His face was so pale.

Yoochun frowned. “Do you regret it then?” he demanded.

Junsu’s mouth opened, eyes wide. “Of course not, Chunnie, but I … god, I’m going to die.”

Yoochun smiled and shook his head. “Remember, just don’t offer information. Unless they specifically ask you something don’t tell them anything. That’s not lying, Junsu.”

Junsu frowned.

“Oh, dear, that has to be yours,” Jae said, catching sight of a perfectly black Lincoln Town Car pulling into the quad roundabout.

“I’m so fucking dead,” Junsu said. He shook both of their hands. “Please excuse me for not kissing you goodbye, but yeah … come to my funeral?”

They laughed.

“Just go, you dork. It’ll be fine,” Yoochun said.

Junsu took one more deep breath, and then he nodded, turned around and with determined steps, headed to the car.

“He’s dead,” Jae said, as a driver opened the back door for Junsu.

Yoochun laughed. “Yes. He is. Can we go back to the dorms now?”

Jae laughed.

“Unless you …”

Jae waved him away. “I told you I would.”

“I don’t want you because you have to.”

Jae smiled. “Chunnie, come on. It’s you. I always want you.”

“You’re such a liar. You want Changmin.”

Jae didn’t reply to that and headed back to the dorms.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea, anyway,” Yoochun said behind him.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re practically Changmin’s boyfriend.”

“I was Yunho’s boyfriend and that never stopped you from fucking me whenever you wanted.”

“You and I both know that this is completely different.”

“Look, if you want some so badly, go knock on Heechul’s door.”

Yoochun bit his lower lip. He followed Jae all the way to his room. “I can’t do that. It feels …”

“What?”

“I don’t know. But if Su found out I fucked Heechul again, I’d feel bad.”

“But you don’t feel bad for fucking me?”

“Well, I know you’re not going to tell him.”

Jae crossed his arms and shook his head. “That’s called guilt, remember? It’s something I learned from you awhile ago.”

“Fuck, Jaejoong. It’s not that, it’s just. I haven’t had sex in three weeks.”

Jaejoong laughed. “Oh you poor thing.”

“Either fuck off or let me fuck you,” Yoochun said.

Jaejoong walked up to him, didn’t touch him, but got in his face. “Beg me for it.”

“I hate you.”

“Not begging.” Jae turned around. Yoochun caught the sleeve of his shirt. Jae looked down at his fingers, and then up at his face.

Yoochun met his eyes for only a moment and then dropped his eyes and his hand.

“Please,” Yoochun whispered, barely loud enough for Jaejoong to hear.

A shiver of excitement shot through Jaejoong. God, had it really been that long since he’d fucked and or been fucked by Yoochun?

Jae took Yoochun’s face in his hands and lifted his face for a brief kiss. When was the last time, he’d even kissed his best friend?

Yoochun whimpered, his body shaking with need. His hard cock pressed into Jae’s thigh.

“Please,” he said again. “I need you.”

Jae pushed him backwards until they were situated on the bed, with Jaejoong hovering over him.

“Chunnie?” Jae said as he laid kisses over Yoochun’s jaw and neck.

“What?”

“You do realize that the minute we do this it becomes wrong, right?”

Yoochun whimpered, eyes shut. He opened his mouth, to beg again, but Jae shut it with his lips.

“I’m not kind of, sort of Changmin’s boyfriend,” Jae whispered. “I am his boyfriend, and fuck if you say you aren’t Junsu’s boyfriend, you need to have a serious look at what your relationship with him has turned into.”

“Please, Jaejoong. Fucking shut up. Please.”

Jae sighed. “When did I become the rational one capable of logical thought in this relationship?”

“You corrupted me.”

Jae sat back, on Yoochun’s knees and pondered him for a moment. He nodded. “You’re right. I did. And you taught me that life isn’t all about sex. So now where are we?”

“Both with fucking hard cocks and the perfect time to get rid of them with each other while our boyfriends are away.”

“I can’t, Yoochun. I can’t sit here and kiss you and think of Changmin. It’s not fair to Changmin at all.”

Yoochun’s eyes shut tight and he took a deep breath. “Get off me,” he said, voice low.

“Chunnie-“

“Don’t, Jaejoong. I'm not quite sure how I was the one protesting and now you are, but fuck, you’re right. I’m wrong.” Yoochun scrambled out Jae’s body, sitting up before curling his legs around and swinging them over and he was off the bed, headed to the door.

“Yoochun, stop.” Jae’s heart was hurting and he knew Yoochun was so upset.

Yoochun stopped with his hand on the doorknob. “A promise of you before everyone else, do you remember that, Jaejoong? The whole ‘you’re the most important person in my life’ thing.”

“So that only means sex now?” Jae demanded. “You’re horny because Junsu won’t put out, so throw that in my face so I’ll fuck you.”

Yoochun’s eyes narrowed.

“Junsu likes you,” Jae said. “He likes you. You can’t just fuck around on him, and I’m included in that.”

“I liked you,” he said quietly, “when we were fifteen. And I watched you do it, and I learned to cope, because if I wanted even a single part of you then I had to learn to deal with it.”

Jae wondered when he started crying. “This is …”

“Different, I know. It’s always different when it’s you, isn’t it? Look, it’s not that I don’t care about Junsu or his feelings, but I don’t love him. You don’t love Changmin. I love you.”

“Then tell me you understand. I know you’re not happy with it, but please tell me you understand.”

“Yes, I understand.”

And he was gone, slamming the door. Jae winced, heart constricting, trying to get a handle on what just happened. He pulled his No-longer-smells-like-Yunho-but-now-smells-like-Changmin pillow to his chest. A tear trailed down his face and into his ear. He sighed in annoyance and wiped it away.

Yoochun didn’t understand.

No one understood anything.

Even Changmin didn’t get it sometimes. Didn’t understand that Jaejoong didn’t want him to hold him. That Jaejoong needed to be punished. That Jaejoong needed his best friend before he needed anyone else.

Was his love for Yoochun seriously going to be a wedge in his relationship with Changmin? It felt like it, because he wanted to fuck Yoochun. His body still thrummed with lust for Yoochun’s body and his hands and his skin and his lips. But suddenly, after almost five years of continuous messing around, Jaejoong was no longer allowed.

And he hated it. And he hated Changmin for it, even if it wasn’t his fault.

There was only one person who Jae could ask about this, but he didn’t want to. Not at all.

But without Changmin, without Yoochun, fuck even without Junsu, Jaejoong was so alone. His heart ached for home. The other three were going home. And where was Jaejoong’s home? Being with Yoochun was the closest he had to the feeling of security of home, but with Yoochun upset and probably already gone, he had no one else. There was really only one place that Jaejoong had ever called his home, and it wasn’t this stupid dorm room or the houses and apartments he’d been shuttled to.

~+~+~+~+~

Yunho woke up warm and comfortable. And to the smell of coffee. His eyes opened and Donghae sat next to him, only in boxers, sipping on a cup.

“Please tell me you brought me a cup,” Yunho said.

Donghae grinned. “Of course.”

Yunho sat up and took the proffered cup, sipping on it slowly. “What are you reading?”

“Don’t know. Some economic magazine you had lying around.”

“Interesting?”

“Not as interesting as you being naked under that blanket.”

Yunho chuckled. “Let me wake up first.”

Donghae turned to him with a sexy look. “I almost didn’t.”

“What are you doing today?” Yunho asked as the first stirrings of lust shot through him.

“Besides you? Not much. Check on the horses, ride you. Eat something. Swallow something.”

“In that order?”

Donghae licked his lips. “No. I want to ride you first.”

Yunho sat his half empty cup of coffee on his nightstand, and then lay back against the pillows. “You’re the cowboy.”

Donghae tossed the magazine off the bed and with a feral grin crawled over Yunho’s body.

It wasn’t the first time that Yunho compared something Donghae did with something Jaejoong used to do. It wouldn’t be the last. Not for a long while. He much preferred Jaejoong’s lithe body over him. Donghae was beyond attractive with muscles and sex appeal, but he was also funny and cute and cared about everyone and everything.

It was this selflessness that Yunho found most attractive about him. Selflessness that did not manifest in the bedroom, and Yunho rather missed being ordered around and demanded things of.

He missed Jaejoong.

But the other had made no effort to contact him, and even his texts to Yoochun were getting few and far between.

He missed Jaejoong in his bed. Even as Donghae slipped Yunho’s cock into his well-fucked hole and rode him, Yunho missed the beauty of Jaejoong, the sheer wildness in him, the passion, the lust.

He missed Jaejoong after, cuddling and finding that spot next to him that Donghae just couldn’t fill. And he missed the little noises that Jae made while he slept. He missed slamming Jaejoong up against the wall in the shower, and taking him bent over a chair or the kitchen counter.

After Donghae had left and he had extracted a promise from Yunho to meet for dinner, Yunho stood in the middle of his living room and sighed.

He had to move. This house was too big for just him. And there was no reason to keep it. He made his way upstairs, unlocked the door to Jaejoong’s room, and stood there, watching dust float around. Jaejoong would kill him if he saw that Yunho had let this much dust gather.

Yunho went down the hall and while he cleaned, and cried, and thought about things, he decided that he had to stop ignoring the problem and really find a place for Jaejoong to go.

He had to move on.

A moment later, his phone beeped with a text message.

~ … ~

Three dots, from a number not in his phone, but one he’d remember until his last dying breath. He hit reply, and then had no idea what else to say.

\+ … ? +

~ … I … please ~

Yunho’s heart contracted.

\+ where are you? are you okay? +

~ I’m … ~

The doorbell rang.

Yunho looked down at his phone, up towards the front door, and then back at his phone. He was up and downstairs before he even realized he’d moved. He flung the door open, and his heart stopped.

Jae was there, brown eyes cold and empty, hiding whatever pain was warring in his heart.

Yunho stared at him for long minutes.

“Well?” Jae finally demanded.

“Sorry,” Yunho said and moved to the side to let Jaejoong in.

Jaejoong stood next to the door for a moment. He was in jeans and a t-shirt, hair pinned back from his face. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin red, and Yunho had never thought he looked more beautiful. Jae looked every where but at Yunho.

“I … I didn’t know where else to go,” Jae said and then moved further into the house.

Yunho stood frozen as footsteps pounded up the stairs, and then a door slammed.

It took him a few long moments until he followed.


	15. realizations at home

In hindsight, Jaejoong probably should have just called Changmin, not jumped in the first taxi and on the first train he could.

He was still rash and irresponsible. At least some things never changed.

He stood in the middle of his old bedroom, and felt detached from it. It’d been less than two months, and already he no longer belonged there. And he was as alone there as he was in the dorm room.

The place was clean, but only just. The dust wipes still sat on his dresser. Almost like Yunho had been cleaning before he got there. He touched one. It was still wet.

The door clicked open.

“This place is a mess,” Jae muttered.

“I know. I’m sorry. I … I have a hard time being here.”

Jae looked up at him, not bothering to stop the tears that fell from his eyes. “Me, too.” He looked away. He still hadn’t moved, backpack still thrown over his shoulder.

He stood there for a few more minutes, and then turned, and tried to push by Yunho at the door.

Yunho grabbed his shoulders.

“Let me go,” Jae said. “I … I shouldn’t have …” He couldn’t finish talking as his throat closed with more tears and the smell of Yunho filled him. The smell he missed so much, and the arms he needed so much. The backpack fell to the ground with a thunk. Jae clutched at Yunho’s chest, shirt bunched in his hands as he soaked it full of tears.

Yunho held him. So tight, so warm.

“My life is a mess,” Jae said. “Whenever I try to do the right thing, I end up hurting someone. Or I feel like shit. I miss the old me. I miss not giving a fuck about anyone but myself. I didn’t know where else to go because I can’t do anything right, and I needed you, and I needed to be here, but it hurts even more and I don’t belong here, and if I don’t belong here, then where do I belong, where am I supposed to be?”

Yunho’s hands ran through his hair. “I wish I could answer that for you.”

It took long minutes until Jae was calm and Yunho could talk him into going downstairs for some tea.

“Fuck tea,” Jaejoong said as they headed down the hall. “I need something stronger than that.”

Yunho chuckled. When they arrived in the kitchen, instead of going to the cabinet, Yunho opened the freezer and pulled out a bottle of rum. “How’s this?”

“God, please.”

Jae pulled out two shot glasses from the cupboard over the stove. Yunho moved around him to the sink. They barely brushed, settling into the others’ presence. Yunho poured the two shots, and almost before he’d stopped pouring, Jae tossed the alcohol back.

Yunho scoffed. “Here,” he said, handing Jaejoong the bottle. “Don’t even know why you pulled out a glass.”

Jae sneered at him, but took the bottle and swallowed more than Yunho would have.

“Have you eaten today?” Yunho asked and then took his own shot.

“Who the fuck cares?” Jae said, but as he tilted the bottle for more, Yunho stopped him.

“I care.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Tell that to my heart.”

“Tell it to your cock, you mean.”

Jae ripped the bottle from Yunho and took two more heavy swallows. He practically flung the bottle back to Yunho and then left the kitchen. He fell on the couch, already feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Numb. That’s what he wanted to be. Numb.

“Any chance you have a stash of weed?” Jae asked as soon as he felt Yunho’s presence in the room.

“No.”

“Fuck.”

Yunho sat next to him. Jae curled into his body, but Yunho shifted. Jae made a noise of protest.

“Sorry, but I had plans that I am now cancelling,” Yunho said.

Jae pried open an eye and read Yunho’s text to Donghae. +something came up. I can’t make it. I’ll call you tomorrow+

“Still dating Donghae, huh?” Jae said.

Yunho shrugged. “Yeah. He’s nice.”

Jae scoffed. “Nice. Do you think anyone will ever say that about me? Oh, Kim Jaejoong. Yeah, he’s nice.”

Yunho smiled and put an arm around him. Jae buried into his chest. Things were spinning even with his eyes shut, but he wasn’t numb. Everything hurt.

“What brings you here anyway?” Yunho asked.

“Long weekend,” Jae replied. “There’s some teacher thing on Monday so there are no classes. And Changmin and Junsu and Yoochun went home and I was just going to stay in the dorm but I wanted to go home too but then Yoochun … and I don’t have a home so I came here because this is sort of home but not really.”

“What happened with Yoochun?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Okay.”

Jae cried again. Yunho rocked him until the sky went black, and the alcohol tossed Jae to the dreamland. Yunho carried Jaejoong to his old bedroom. He thought for a moment of going to his room, but Jaejoong’s bed was still the only place in the house that was theirs. Where Yunho hadn’t slept with Donghae.

He removed none of their clothes, covered them with a blanket, and listened to Jae murmur and whimper in his sleep.

Yunho didn’t sleep.

Jae woke up at about one am, jerking upright to take in his surroundings. His hands were on Yunho’s chest, their legs entwined.

“Fuck.”

“What?” Yunho asked.

Jae sighed and flopped back against him. “Nothing, just …”

Yunho kissed his forehead.

“What are we doing?” Jae asked. “Like, really, what are we doing?”

“Every man has the right to be a fool sometimes.”

“You take advantage of that a bit too much.”

Yunho chuckled. “I know.”

Jae shifted until he was lying on top of Yunho, his chin pressing against Yunho’s breastbone. He pouted and then yawned, pained eyes meeting Yunho’s.

“I love you,” Jae said, “why isn’t that enough?”

“Do you want it to be?”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I was stupid.”

“Well, duh,” Jae said with an eye roll. He sat up, straddling Yunho’s thighs and crossed his arms. “I told you so.”

“I know.”

“So what does that mean?”

“I don’t know. That I was stupid.”

“Stating the obvious.”

“So what do we do?”

Jae frowned. “Is this my decision?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because to me, Donghae means very little. Yes, he’s nice. Yes, he’s attractive, but he’s not you. I’d dump him tomorrow. But you have Changmin.”

Jae bit his lower lip. “I like Changmin.”

“I know. Yoochun was telling me that he’s never seen you so smitten with someone.”

Jae looked away at the mention of his best friend.

“What happened with Yoochun?” Yunho asked.

“He wanted … I wouldn’t have sex with him.” Jae met Yunho’s shocked eyes for a moment and then launched into his explanation. “I mean, we agreed that as soon as Junsu and Changmin left, we would because Yoochun hasn’t had sex in like three weeks, but then I … I don’t know, it felt wrong. It’s cheating, and I know Changmin would see it that way, but then again, maybe he wouldn’t care, but I wasn’t going to take that chance because if I hurt Changmin I don’t know what I’d do and then Yoochun was all like, but you always fucked me when you were with Yunho, but with us it was different because Yoochun was there since day one, and then—”

Jae couldn’t breathe and he swallowed as another stream of tears fell. “He said that I was the most important person to him and that I had to have had sex with him, and then he said that he liked me when we were teenagers, when we were fifteen, and that he had to watch me fuck around with everyone, and then he left, and he didn’t say if he still liked me, and now he’s mad at me all because I didn’t want to cheat on Changmin, and I didn’t want him cheating on Junsu. I—I know now that I’m thinking about things that this is all fucked up, but did you ever hate Yoochun for what I had with him?”

“Let me get this straight. You refused to have sex with him?”

“Yes.”

“And he got mad?”

“Frustrated.”

“Frustrated. And then he confessed to liking you when you were younger?”

“Yes.”

“And you would have felt guilty for cheating on Changmin, even if it was with Yoochun?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, baby, you’re growing up.”

Jae slugged his arm. “Shut up.”

Yunho smiled and said, “There were moments when I’d come home and find you two together and a little bit of possessiveness would fill me, but it’s like you said, Yoochun was there since day one, and it’s not like what we had was normal. I knew that he came with the package, that he would always be next to you. Jae, you two are … I always knew that if we ever broke up, or if things went to shit for some reason, that you would be okay because you have Yoochun.”

Jae bit his lip.

“It’s true. Yoochun and I have even talked about it. And him getting mad for this is probably just because he’s sexually frustrated with Junsu.”

“I’m trying to talk Junsu into it,” Jae said, “but he’s terrified. God, I’m so glad I was not raised with moral restraints.”

Yunho smiled. “Me, too.”

Jae laughed. He lay back down, cuddling into Yunho’s body. “So now what?”

“Your call, remember?”

“Did you quit your job, like you said you would?”

“Yes. But now I have an even better one.”

“What?”

“I’m recruiting for an entertainment company. I go around to schools and scout talent.”

Jae pushed up, hands on his chest. “They let you around teenage boys?”

Yunho’s smile widened. “Yes, but trust me, Jae, I’ve been there, done that, and teenagers are nothing but trouble.”

“Was I more trouble than I was worth?”

His smile fell and he wrapped his arms around Jae and pulled him back down. “No. Don’t ever think that. I have never, and will never, regret what we had and what we have. Understand?”

“Yeah. So if I want you back, I can have you back?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you like Donghae?”

“Not like I like you.”

“God, I need more alcohol,” Jae said, burying deeper into his hold.

“No, you need to sleep.”

“That, too.”

“We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

“Yeah.” Yunho shifted and Jae tightened his hold on him. “Where the hell are you going?”

“Jae, if I stay next to you any longer, I’m going to kiss you and if I kiss you, then I’m going to fuck you.”

“And?”

“Jaejoong.”

Jae sighed, and reluctantly let Yunho go. Jae watched him as he straightened his clothes, and just as he was about to leave the room, Jae said, “Now, I know how Chunnie felt when I said no to him.”

Yunho turned and said, “Trust me, Jaejoong. He felt a lot worse than what you’re feeling.”

The door clicked shut.

Jae lay in the dark. He sighed. He hadn’t meant to hurt Yoochun. How could he? Hurting Yoochun was like hurting himself. He thought of Yoochun’s confession, that he had liked Jaejoong when they were fifteen. Would Jaejoong be any different if Yoochun had said something? Remembering what he was like back then, Jae probably would have laughed, said something flippant, and hurt Yoochun even more.

He tried to remember where he was living when he was fifteen, but the foster houses all blurred together. He was pretty sure though that he was doing those third years then, sucking them off in the bathroom or letting the three of them fuck him.

There was once, a shot of Yoochun’s face when he caught Jae on his knees with a cock in his mouth and a cock in his ass. His mouth had been open in shock, and Jae had smirked, and Yoochun’s face fell, but Jae had been too busy to really pay attention to the pain in his eyes.

And Yoochun had barely talked to him the rest of that week. Was that when Yoochun had liked him? How long did Yoochun like him like that? By fifteen, they were already fucking each other. Or … wait, that was …

Jaejoong sat up quickly with a quiet gasp. He … fuck, he’d sucked Yoochun off a few times, but it wasn’t until a month or so later that Yoochun first fucked him. Jae … fuck, Jae threw himself back to the bed with an aggravated growl.

God, he was so stupid.

Jae remembered. He’d been shuttled to another house, another family, and he’d convinced Yoochun to ditch school with him, and they had smoked cigarettes and went to the bridge and fucked underneath it and god, damn it. Yoochun had held him so close, so protectively, and Jaejoong hadn’t cared. He hated it when other people held him.

And then the next day he was on his knees for those others again, and bragging about it to Yoochun, and Yoochun had been so quiet.

Jae pulled out his phone.

 **superHero** ~ I am so sorry ~

 **mickyMouse** = for waking me up at 3am =

 **superHero** ~ for using you, for hurting you, for taking you for granted ~

 **mickyMouse** = whatever. Can’t this wait =

 **superHero** ~ no. I love you ~

His phone rang.

“Hello?”

Yoochun sighed.

“I’m sorry,” Jae said. “Really. I … you never told me, and I just treated you like shit and you still stayed right by me and—”

“Jae, come on. It’s over.”

“No, it’s not. I’m still doing it. I expect you to be there for me and, god, what happens if you aren’t there one day, huh? I would die. I would, and you’d never know how much you mean to me or how much I love you because I’m a fucking selfish bastard and I never once thought about you. I used you just as much as I used everyone else.”

Yoochun sighed. “No, you didn’t.”

“Yes. I did.”

“I could have walked away. I could have left you like everyone else.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Yoochun stayed silent.

“Do you still like me?” Jae whispered.

As the silence stretched, Jae realized how backwards this was. Of course Yoochun liked him, just like Jae liked Yoochun, and they both loved each other, but this question was … it was different, and based on Yoochun’s silence, it was the one that Jae should have asked years ago.

“We should talk about this later,” Yoochun finally said.

“Why?”

“Because it’s three a.m. and you’re almost six hours away from me right now, and—”

“Actually, I’m at Yunho’s.”

“What?” Yoochun said, almost shouted.

“I … It wasn’t fair that you three were going home and I—I didn’t want to be alone.”

“You’re at Yunho’s, great. And he’s not fucking you senseless?’

“Yoochun, come on.”

“He turned you down, didn’t he?”

“No, we just …”

Yoochun sighed. “We’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll come over later.”

“Okay.”

After another moment, Jae said, “I’m sorry, Chunnie. I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long to realize that you’re the greatest thing in my life. The most stable thing. The best thing. The corniest, cheesiest, funniest thing. I love you so much. I do.”

“I love you, too, Jae.”

“Come over now.”

“No. I … I need to think. You do, too. Don’t forget, I know you best. You just realized this so you called me without thinking it over. Think it over, Jae. Think about what you’re telling me, and then we’ll talk to tomorrow.”

“Your rationality has returned, and you’re thinking logically, while I am ready to jump off the cliff. Everything is right in the world again.”

Yoochun laughed. “I was a bitch earlier, Jaejoong. I know I was, and I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t want to cheat on Changmin. But now you’re telling me to come over and you know if I do, we’ll end up fucking.”

Jae bit his lip, and then said, “I know.”

“Tomorrow. Okay? I’ll be there.”

“Okay. See you then.”

“I love you.

“I love you.”

Jae reluctantly hung up the phone, and then with a smile, sent Yoochun text.

 **superHero** ~ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ~

 **mickyMouse** = ♥ I only have one, but it has always belonged to you =


	16. understanding

Jae woke up confused. Comfortable bed, too much light, and no Junsu singing in the bathroom. He blinked a few times as the previous night slowly came back to him. He was unwilling to really wake up and leave the comfort of a soft blanket and pillows.

A few minutes later there was a soft knock on the door, and Yunho’s voice asking if he was awake yet.

“No,” Jae said.

The door creaked open. Yunho chuckled as he entered, carrying a laden tray.

Jae sat up, eyes wide, completely awake. “You brought me breakfast in bed?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I felt like it.”

He sat on the edge of the bed. Jae propped up against the headboard. Yunho put the tray across his lap. The first thing Jae grabbed was the cup of coffee.

“You alright?” Yunho asked, and trailed fingers over Jae’s face.

Jae shut his eyes and leaned into the touch. “Yeah. I … I don’t know though.”

“Don’t know what?”

Jae showed Yunho the messages from Yoochun and told him about their talk.

“And now what?”

Jae looked away, biting his lower lip. “I don’t know. I mean, there’s you, and there’s Changmin, but it’s Yoochun.”

Yunho smiled.

“Don’t smile at me like you know everything, old man.”

“Sometimes,” Yunho said, “people spend years trying to find someone to belong to. For me, I honestly thought that was you, and I would not protest if you wanted me again. But that’d be prolonging the inevitable. You’re lucky, Jaejoong. You’ve had Yoochun for years already.”

“But …” Jae sighed. “I … I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“Everything.”

“Who does?”

“Yoochun seems to.”

“Then you need to talk to him.”

“I need to talk to everybody.”

“Eat your breakfast. I’ll be downstairs.” Yunho kissed his cheek.

Jae pouted at his food and said, “I’m still allowed to love you, right? Like … love you, but not fuck you, but still be friends, right?”

Yunho grinned. “Yeah. That’s okay.”

Jae nodded. “Okay.”

Jae finished his breakfast, and then took a shower and dressed in a pair of sweat pants he hadn’t taken to college. He dug in his bag, found a pack of cigarettes and went to the front porch to smoke.

 **mickyMouse** = my mother has said there is absolutely no way that I am allowed to come over because I see you every day and she doesn’t and this weekend is a family weekend =

 **superHero** ~ :( I can’t believe she still hates me ~

 **mickyMouse** = well you did corrupt me =

 **superHero** ~ at least I’m good at something ~

 **mickyMouse** = I’ll sneak out later =

 **superHero** ~ I’ll leave my window open ~

“Um, excuse me?”

Jaejoong looked up from his phone. The man in front of him was attractive with slightly long brown hair, brown eyes. He was smiling, though it was guarded. Jae scanned his body. White t-shirt, jeans that looked a bit muddy, and cowboy boots.

“You must be Donghae,” Jaejoong said.

“Yes. And you’re—”

“Jaejoong.”

“Oh.” His smile fell.

Jae smirked. God, this could be so much fun. But anything he said would probably end up making this hard for Yunho, so he shook his head and said, “Nothing to be worried about. Yunho’s in the kitchen.”

Donghae crossed his arms (strong arms, Jaejoong noted). “He texts and cancels dinner with me yesterday, he doesn’t call me at all, and then I come over and find you on his front porch wearing very little and I’m not supposed to be worried?”

He had a Mokpo country accent, and it was kinda cute the way his mouth moved.

Jae shrugged. “Think what you want,” he said and went back to his phone.

 **superHero** ~ I just met Donghae ~

Donghae didn’t move.

Jae rolled his eyes. He opened the door and shouted, “Yunho, your boyfriend is here and getting suspicious.”

Yunho was outside in about thirty seconds, smiling at Donghae. “Hey.”

“What’s this?” Donghae demanded.

 **superhero** ~ this is fun. Yunho is trying to reassure him ~

 **mickyMouse** = nothing happened? =

 **superhero** ~ *eyeroll* no, gosh I have to reassure you too ~

 **mickyMouse** = I’ve seen Yunho in the morning, wife beater, boxers, musky and disheveled, very tempting =

 **superHero** ~ he brought me breakfast in bed ~

 **mickyMouse** = O.o =

 **superHero** ~ calm down. All I swallowed was rice and eggs and coffee ~

 **mickyMouse** = sounds delish =

 **superHero** ~ this is really stupid, I gotta back Yunho up. I’ll talk to you later ♥ ~

 **mickyMouse** = ♥ =

Jae flung his cigarette into the front bushes. He ignored Yunho’s frown and said, “This is stupid. Like really stupid. I’m going to go be somewhere else so I’m not around stupid.”

“Jaejoong,” Yunho said in warning.

“What? He’s being a baby about this. Nothing happened. And nothing will happen. We’re over that, aren’t we?”

“Yes.”

Jaejoong glared at Donghae. “If anyone should be getting pissed off and indignant, it’s me because Yunho dumped me for you. And honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“Jaejoong,” Yunho snapped.

Jae smirked. “Whatever. You two girls fight it out.”

Jae’s phone rang. He looked at the display.

_**minnieMouse** is calling_

“Changmin!” Jae shouted as he answered. He walked by Donghae asking Changmin about his family and how it felt to be home, and then he lay sprawled out on the lawn, not facing the other two.

“I miss you,” Jae said.

“How’s the dorms without us there?”

Jae swallowed. “Um, actually, I came to see Yunho.”

Changmin didn’t say anything, and Jae winced.

“I … I had an emotional break down, and Yoochun and I had a fight and I … well, I needed to be somewhere familiar. And I don’t have a home, so I came here, but nothing happened.”

“Okay,” Changmin said.

“Just like that, you believe me?”

“Have you ever lied to me before?”

“No.”

“Then I believe you. Should I not believe you?”

“No, I’m just not used to people believing me.”

“Well, I believe you.”

“So you’ll believe that I miss your cock in my ass?”

Changmin snorted. “Now that is probably the truest thing you’ve ever said.”

Jae laughed. He wondered if he should bring up the whole Yoochun thing and decided that he’d better not. Not yet.

“How is Yunho?”

Jae looked over his shoulder at Yunho and Donghae still talking. “Um, not good at the moment. He’s trying to calm his jealous boyfriend down.”

Changmin laughed.

“Well, I guess I don’t blame Donghae,” Jae said a bit louder, catching both of their attention. He rolled on his back and propped up on an elbow. “I mean, I am incredibly fuckable.”

“Not helping, Jaejoong,” Yunho said.

Jae laughed.

“Did you do something sexy to make him mad?” Changmin asked.

“Ah, Minnie darling boyfriend of mine, I don’t have to do anything to be sexy. I just am.”

“He has a boyfriend?” Donghae said.

Yunho sighed. “Yes, he does, which is what I was trying to tell you.”

Jae tuned them out again.

“Jae, I have to go,” he said. “Minji and I are going to the movies. I just called to say hi.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later.”

“See you.”

Jae stared up at the sky, phone on his chest and lit another cigarette. A door shut, and he looked up. Donghae and Yunho had gone inside, which was fine by him. He had to figure out what the hell he was going to tell Changmin and what the hell he was going to tell Yoochun that night.

~+~+~+~+~

“I don’t like this at all,” Donghae said as soon as the front door shut behind them.

“I know. I’m sorry. He just sort of showed up last night.”

“Well, doesn’t he have his own place?”

Yunho sighed. “Not really. Look, I … nothing happened, alright?”

“Your relationship is complicated, yeah, got that part. Want to tell me why?”

“It’s not really any of your business.”

“No, Yunho. I think today, it is my business, especially when I show up at your house and he’s half naked on your front porch, smoking a cigarette.”

“Yes, well, there’s more shit involved than just you thinking I slept with him, okay? There’s more at stake.”

“What?”

The front door slammed. “Oh my god, are you still arguing about this?” Jae demanded from the hallway. “And fuck, Yunho. Seriously, hire a maid or something. This place has gathered too much dust since I left.”

“He used to live here?” Donghae said, voice rising.

“Jaejoong!” Yunho called as Jae headed up the stairs.

“What?” he shouted back.

“Get down here and explain this to him.”

“You’re the one that needs to,” Jaejoong said. “Not me. We used to fuck, we used to date, we used to live together, we don’t anymore. How fucking hard is that? Why do I have to do everything for you? Who’s the adult in this relationship?”

Yunho sighed. “Thanks for nothing, you spoiled rotten teenager.”

“Thanks for giving me something to do this weekend,” Jae said back. “God, have you ever heard of cleaning …” His voice trailed off as he went down the hall upstairs.

Donghae crossed his arms and stared at him. “Teenager?”

“Jaejoong’s eighteen.”

Donghae’s eyes brows crawled up his forehead. “Eighteen.”

“Yes.”

“But you said you’d been with him for two years.”

“So I did.”

Donghae opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again. “Wait.”

“Now, do you understand why there’s more involved in this? Jaejoong is in college. He has a boyfriend in college, who is near his own age. We broke up before he went to college, more or less, but then we really broke up after he’d been there for a couple weeks. It was an insanely complicated relationship. It still is. He and his best friend had a fight, and I found him on my doorstep yesterday in tears. I wasn’t just going to tell him to fuck off. If you have a problem with that, then you can leave.”

Donghae turned away from him for a moment, and then said, “He was sixteen.”

“Yes, he was.”

“One of your foster children?”

“The last one. And the only one where things were inappropriate between us. Don’t think I’m some pedophile, Donghae. You don’t understand the circumstances, and I’m sure I could tell you about them, but that won’t help you understand either. You’re the first real relationship I’ve been in since my wife. I’m not saying that I don’t love Jaejoong, because I do. But what we had, what we did, was never normal.”

“But he was sixteen!” Donghae protested.

Jaejoong scoffed from the doorway. They both looked over at him. Jaejoong walked into the kitchen and headed to the pantry. “And Yunho was not the first old man I seduced either.” He smirked over his shoulder and gave Yunho a quick body scan. “The most pleasurable, but not the first. I was fucking men in their thirties when I was thirteen. Don’t blame him. It’s not like anyone can resist me.”

Yunho chuckled. “Not really helping, Jae.”

Jae ignored him. He smirked at Donghae, looked him up and down again. The look turned feral, wild and it made Yunho’s cock twitch and it wasn’t even directed at him. “I could get on my knees and have you begging for release in less than an hour if I wanted to.”

“Jaejoong,” Yunho snapped, face flushed.

Donghae shook his head. “I doubt that.”

Jae laughed, and then turned so Donghae was out of the conversation. “Where’s your mop?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, it’s not where it’s supposed to be, and it’s not in your bathroom or my bathroom or …”

“Um, check the garage, I guess.”

“Why the hell would the mop be in the garage?”

“I don’t know. I think I used it in there a week or so ago.”

Jae sighed and left the kitchen through the garage door.

Yunho stared at Donghae. It was silent in the kitchen until there was a shriek from the garage and Jaejoong shouted, “God damn it, Yunho, if you do not hire a maid, I am going to have to fucking come down here every week,” The door slammed open, “just so you can keep your head on straight. Look at this thing!” He held up the dirty mop. “I can’t use this in the house now. Fuck, what did you clean up with it? You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know. Seriously. Hire a maid.”

Donghae smiled a bit. “I told him that last week.”

“It’s ridiculous,” Jae said, “that a grown man with as much free time as he has can’t keep his house clean.”

“You’re picky,” Yunho said.

“No, I’m not,” Jae said. “I slept with you, didn’t I?”

“Ouch.”

“Give me some money and your car keys,” Jae said.

“Why?”

“Because I am going to buy you a new mop, get some groceries to make you an actual dinner, and buy something to compensate me for all my hard work.”

Yunho sighed, but pulled out his wallet and gave him some money and the keys to his SUV. “Put some clothes on.”

Jae grinned. “Aw, take all the fun out of it.”

“Jaejoong-“

Jae waved him silent. “Whatever. Give me your shirt.”

Yunho sighed. “Just go, you little vixen.”

Jae grinned again and left the kitchen.

Yunho and Donghae stared at each other again.

“You didn’t sleep with him?” Donghae said.

“No. And I’m not going to. He … he doesn’t need me for that. A friend, someone to talk to or run to when his life gets a little crazy, but not for sex. For two years, I kept telling him that this was temporary, that he had to move on, that he had to do something with his life. Six months before he went to college, he was still adamant about being a porn star, and now he’s a musician. Yes, I pay his tuition and I plan on continuing to take care of him and be there when he needs me. Again, if that bothers you, then … well, it’s been great.”

Donghae took a deep breath. “Can I think about this?”

“Of course.”

“One question.”

“Sure.”

“How did he seduce you?”

Yunho smirked. “Walked around half naked most of the time, and then had his best friend take pictures and videos of him fucking himself with a dildo and send them to me while I was at work.”

Donghae’s eyes were wide.

“And then,” Jae said from the doorway. Again they both flipped around to look at him. He had put on jeans and a t-shirt. “Said best friend tied me to the coffee table and gagged me up, because I was such a naughty boy in need of a spanking, wasn’t I?”

“Fuck,” Donghae muttered.

“I had every intention of saying no,” Yunho said.

Jae scoffed. “For a nanosecond, maybe.”

Yunho grinned.

“What do you want for dinner?” Jae asked.

“Kimchi jjigae. God, please. Please, please. I love your kimchi jjigae way more than I love you.”

Jaejoong looked at Donghae. “You going to be here for dinner?”

Donghae looked at Yunho, and then back at Jaejoong. “Sure, why the hell not?”

“What about Yoochun?” Yunho asked.

Jae made a face. “His mom says it’s family weekend and he’s not allowed to come over. So he’s going to sneak in tonight.”

Yunho scoffed. “Just be quiet, okay?”

“We’re not going to do anything.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“If it was up to me, I’d be up in my room with his cock in my ass right now, but you know Yoochun is better disciplined than me.”

“Everyone is better disciplined than you.”

Jae smiled. “Except for maybe you, old man. See you later. What … forty-five minutes? Does that give you two enough time to thrust out your issues?”

“Jaejoong.”

Jae laughed, winked at Donghae and left the kitchen.

Yunho sighed as the door slammed.

“He’s …”

“I know,” Yunho said.


	17. more understanding

“Hey.”

Junsu whipped around in shock and then visibly relaxed when it was only Junho leaning against his bedroom door.

“Want to explain to me why you were crying in church today?”

Junsu bit his lower lip and looked away.

“Don’t give me that crap you spouted to Mom about missing the congregation. You have guilt written all over your face.”

Junsu’s breath hitched. “Does Mom—“

“No, Su. You’ve never lied to her. She’ll believe anything you tell her.”

Junsu buried his face in his hands. “God, Junho. I’m so fucked.”

“Um, wow. Language. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that word come out of your mouth before.”

“I know. I know. I just … can you keep a really big secret? An implementing the Twins Honor Code secret?”

“Okay, now I’m really worried. And yes, I can.”

“I—”

“Should we talk about this here?” Junho asked, looking out in the hallway.

“No. Good idea. Walk with me?”

“Sure.”

They met their mom in the entry way. Junho smiled and said, “We’re just going to go walk around, Mom. Catch up some.”

“Okay,” she said and kissed both of their heads. “I’m so proud of you both.”

Junsu looked at the floor. His brother tugged on his arm, still stalling and talking over their mother as they slipped on their shoes.

“Be home for dinner!” she called after them. “Remember who you are.”

“Oh, god,” Junsu muttered and walked faster.

“Hey, fuck, Su,” Junho said and grabbed his arm. “Stop acting like something is wrong. You want an interrogation when we get back home?”

“I … I can’t do this, Ho, I can’t. Fuck. I can’t.”

Junho took his hand, and they walked around in silence. Past homes, and children playing, and families out on their porches.

“We have to get out of the neighborhood,” Junsu said.

“Maybe we should have driven,” Junho said. “Come on. We’ll go to the elementary school. We’ll be able to see if someone is coming.”

When they arrived, they walked across the fields to the playground equipment. Junsu sat on one swing facing one direction, and Junho sat in the other, facing the other direction.

“Alright. Blurt it out.”

“Blurt it out?”

Junho rolled his eyes. “I know you, bro. You’re going to dance around all over until I finally figure out what it is you’re trying to say. Just say it.”

Junsu bit his lips. “Promise you won’t hate me?”

“You’re stupid if you think there’s anything that could make me hate you, but I promise.”

“I … I think I might possibly be a little bit interested in doing stuff with guys.”

Junho looked at him, and then smiled. “You still managed to say that without saying it. Just fucking say you’re gay, bro. Make it easy.”

Junsu opened his mouth to protest, remembering what Yoochun said about trying things out didn’t necessarily make him gay, but then he closed it.

Junho grabbed the chain of the swing and leaned his face on the back of his hands. His smile widened as Junsu refused to look at him. “So, do I get details or what?”

“D-details?”

“Who are you fucking?”

“No one!” Junsu shouted. “Well, not yet anyway, but …”

Junho laughed.

“Shut up. I shouldn’t have told you,” Junsu buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking as he tried in vain not to cry.

Junho rubbed his back. “Sorry, bro. This is just awesome. I thought you were going to be a pious perfectionist your whole life.”

Junsu sat up and looked at his brother, eyes narrowed. “What does that mean? You’re …”

“I’m what? Religious, righteous, pious?” Junho smirked. “It depends on who I’m talking to, and if you’re smart and you keep it to yourself, you can do whatever the fuck you want without getting caught.”

Junsu had no idea what to say. His brother … his brother … was—

“Have you kissed a boy?” Junsu blurted out.

Junho grinned. “Yes.”

“And …”

“And what? You want my details, brother? I thought this was your confession time, not mine.”

Junsu blushed. “I … I like it.”

“That’s okay, you know.”

Junsu nodded. “But … he …”

“Which he? Yoochun that you always talk about?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“You’re incredibly amused by this, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

Junsu sighed. “I like him. A lot. Well, he was kind of an ass at first, but so was I, trying to save him, and I’m pretty sure at one point I called him a faggot of the devil.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. I … I apologized for it.”

“By letting him fuck you?”

Junsu blushed. “No! I … I haven’t … we haven’t … I’m scared, Junho.”

“Why?”

“I … It’s like that’s it? You know. No going back. Tainted. Dirty.” Junsu put his face back in his hands.

Junho sighed. “I know what you’re going through, Junsu. I do. I went through it a couple years ago, and you have to understand that it doesn’t change who you are. You don’t have to stop believing in Christ. No where in Christ’s teachings does He condone the ridicule or torture or hatred of people who are different. He was friends with hookers and lepers and the lower class. I’m sure that if Christ were here now, He’d be hanging out with gay people and not the bigoted religious who spread hate in His name and then proselytize about loving everyone.”

Junho hugged him until Junsu calmed down a little.

“So,” Junho said, this time with a leer, “what have you done with him?”

Junsu blushed and looked away, eyes securely staring at his feet as he traced Yoochun’s name in the wood chips.

“Well?”

“We … we stroke each other off and he—god, this is embarrassing.”

Junho laughed. “Why? Three nights ago I was in my dorm with my roommate fucking me. Come on. Tell me.”

Junsu turned wide eyes to him. “You …”

Junho rolled his eyes. “I lost my virginity two years ago, Su.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Are you kidding me? You would have run to Mommy.”

Junsu opened his mouth to protest and then shut it. He would have. “He’s tried to do more, but I end up panicking and he gets frustrated when all I’ll do is stroke him.”

“Blow jobs?”

Junsu shook his head. “He wants to. I know he does.”

“God, Su, every man wants a fucking blow job. How long has this been going on?”

“Three weeks.”

“Three weeks? The poor guy probably has blue balls!”

Junsu cocked his head. “Blue balls?”

Junho laughed. “It just means that he’s probably horny as hell because he hasn’t had sex in three weeks. You’re holding out on him.”

“No, he’s okay. He and Jaejoong are always fucking each other.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Well, yeah. Changmin said that if you get one, you get the other. They come as a package.”

“Ooh, threesomes,” Junho said, almost shouting.

“Shut up,” Junsu hissed, glancing around wildly. But they were still alone.

Junho laughed. “Don’t worry so much about, Su. Okay? There’s nothing wrong with you. You got a picture of Yoochun?”

Junsu smiled. “Yeah.” He took out his phone and found the picture of him and Yoochun with their cheeks pressed together. Yoochun was smiling like a dork.

Junho whistled. “Hot.”

“Yeah. So is Jaejoong. He’s the one with red hair. And Changmin is the tall one. He’s Jaejoong’s boyfriend.”

Junho scrolled through his pictures. “Looks like you guys have a lot of fun. Non-sexual fun, but still fun.”

“We have plenty of sexual fun, too,” Junsu said and blushed.

“I’m sure,” Junho said with a laugh. “A bit of advice, bro. The best thing you can do is just fuck him, or let him fuck you, or I don’t know, whichever you and he want. Waiting is only going to make it worse and if you make him wait too long, then he might end up hurting you out of pure eagerness.”

“But he’s …”

“Are you sure he’s fucking Jaejoong? Like you know, you’ve seen them?”

“Well, no, but …”

“And you just said Changmin was Jaejoong’s boyfriend. Are they fucking?”

“Well, yeah, but …”

“Su, come on. If you were Changmin, would you want your boyfriend to be fucking someone else, and if Jaejoong is getting a steady stream of sex, what does he need Yoochun for?”

Junsu bit his lip.

“You need to talk to Yoochun about this,” Junho said. “And you just need to do it. As soon as you do, you’ll be wondering why the hell you waited.”

“It’s scary.”

“At least you have someone that’s taking their time with you, Su. My first time, the guy didn’t care that I was a virgin and it was over in less than ten minutes and he left me there to figure out what the fuck happened by myself.”

“Sorry, bro. That sucks.”

“Yeah. Try … try not to let the moral crap that Mom and others shove into your head bother you too much, okay? According to them, you’re fucked just because you have these desires and thoughts. And if you’re already fucked, you might as well get fucked.”

“Nice reasoning,” Junsu said with an eye roll.

“Just have fun. Being in college is all about having fun. Well, learning, too. It’s secondary. But don’t let your grades slip.”

Junsu laughed and then frowned. “Fuck. I have a stupid reading I have to do. Oh, well. I’ll do it tomorrow night.”

“Now you sound like a college student. Come on. Let’s go home.”

~+~+~+~+~

“I like him,” Jaejoong said as Donghae’s truck pulled away from the curb.

“He likes you,” Yunho said. “Even if you’re kind of an ass.”

“You like my ass.”

“Too much. He’s going to be suspicious for awhile. Normally, he stays the night.”

“Oh … sorry? Now I feel bad. Depriving you of sexy time with your cowboy. I bet he likes to ride you.”

“Shut up, Jaejoong.”

Jae laughed. “I hope he doesn’t leave you. He still seems tense and stuff.”

“We’ll see.”

“Do you like him?”

“Yes.”

“More than just a rebound?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I hope he likes me someday.”

“He does. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have stayed for dinner. And I think all you have to do to win him over is continue to cook for him. He likes your kimchi jjigae.”

“Everyone likes my kimchi jjigae.” Jaejoong lit a cigarette.

“You should stop smoking.”

“You should stop perving after teenage boys.”

“I have.”

Jae smirked. “You’re still perving. You’re just not doing anything about it.”

“You going to be okay?” Yunho asked. He sat next to Jaejoong on the porch bench. Jae curled up into his body.

“I guess I have to be, don’t I?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you want to happen with Yoochun?”

“I don’t know. I love him too much to hurt him anymore. But if we get together, like really together, and then break up, then that will hurt him even more.”

“That’s a stupid reason not to be with someone. To not be happy with someone.”

“I know.”

“Yoochun is lucky to have you, Jae. You’re lucky to have each other.”

“I … I just hope he still wants me.”

Yunho stood up despite Jaejoong’s protest. Yunho smiled. “Jae, come on. You may not be thinking about sex right now, but I am. I can’t be next to you while I’m thinking about sex.”

Jae smirked and licked his lower lip. “Wanna fuck me?”

Yunho turned away and headed into the house.

“Oh, old man, come on. I was kidding.”

“And if I say yes?” Yunho said, facing him. “If I had said, yes, let’s go up and tie you to my headboard and let me spank your ass. Would you say no to that?”

“Fuck,” Jae muttered and lay on the bench. He blew a puff of smoke into the air.

“Exactly.”

“Changmin still won’t ‘hurt’ me,” Jae said, using air quotes. “It’s like … fuck, just spank me once. I’m not asking him to make me bleed or anything. God, even if he pulled my hair. But he’s like, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Have you told him this?”

“Yes. It’s not like he’s not dominate or anything. He fucking is, but he’s not really comfortable playing yet. He’ll hold me down, order me around and call me a slut and stuff, but that’s it.”

“Did you do what you did to me and have him walk in on you tied up and gagged?”

“No.”

“Try it. The method works.”

Jae laughed. “I have to figure out what’s going on with Yoochun first.” He flicked the cigarette away and they went into the darkened house, light only spreading from the kitchen. Jae snagged the back of Yunho’s shirt before he could leave.

“What?”

Jae swallowed. “What happens with us?”

“What do you mean?”

“When I leave tomorrow, then what?”

Yunho smiled. “You said it, Jae. We’ll be friends. I’m sure we can handle that.”

“And … later, like during the summer.”

“You can stay here. I’m not going to kick you out or anything.”

“Okay.”

Jae looked away and bit his lip.

“Now what?”

“I … I miss you. I miss … I miss you.”

Yunho pulled him close and hugged him. “I miss you, too, but I think we’re both better off.”

“Probably. One more kiss?”

Yunho chuckled. “Sure, why not?” He pulled his upper body away, and with a hand on Jae’s cheek, leaned down and kissed him. Jae whimpered, breath hitching, heart ready to burst. The kiss extended to minutes, extended to tongues exploring mouths, memorizing the feel of lips and hands shaking with barely constrained control.

Yunho pulled away, but not too far. With one more soft kiss, he said, “I love you, Jaejoong. I will always, always love you.”

Jae made a pained noise and hugged him tightly. “I love you,” he whispered.

Yunho ran his fingers through Jae’s hair, and then with a kiss to his forehead, he said, “I’m going to go finish that bottle of rum. Wanna join me?”

“Sure.”

Fingers laced together, they went into the kitchen.


	18. confronting the past

Jae was already sitting on the roof when Yoochun showed up. He was on his fourth cigarette, head still pleasantly buzzed from the alcohol.

Yoochun used the garbage can to climb up on the roof. He pulled himself up to the small flat ledge under Jaejoong’s window. There wasn’t exactly enough room for both of them, but with a bit of adjustment, Jae curled up in Yoochun’s body. He passed him the smoke. Yoochun didn’t take it, but held Jae’s wrist and wrapped his lips around the filter and inhaled a drag.

“You smell like rum,” Yoochun said.

Jae smiled. “Yeah, Yunho gave me some a couple hours ago, but don’t worry. It was only a little bit. He said that if either of us got drunk, we’d end up fucking. I’m sober enough.”

Neither said anything for a long time, smoking from the same cigarette.

Jae flipped the cigarette away.

“I think I like this most,” Jae whispered. “We should stay right here forever.”

Yoochun chuckled and tightened his arms around Jae. “No shower, no bathroom, no ramen, no water.”

Jae sighed. “Best friend who manages to ruin everything.”

“You.”

“I …” Jae shut his mouth.

“Sorry. That was mean.”

“But true. God damn it, Yoochun, even when I try to do the right thing, I end up hurting someone. Life was better when I was selfish.”

Yoochun kissed the top of his head. “I like this you a lot more than the selfish you.”

Jaejoong wasn’t ready to talk to Yoochun about what he really had to talk to him about, so he told Yoochun about Donghae, all the details from their first meeting, and then Donghae finding out about his and Yunho’s real relationship, and then dinner.

“He loved my kimchi jjigae.”

“You made Kimchi jjigae?”

“Yes. And yes, I made enough to take to the dorms tomorrow. I’ll save you some.”

“If you manage to keep Changmin away from it.”

“I’ll make a whole batch just for him.”

“So, is that it with Yunho then?”

Jae sighed. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, we talked after Donghae left. Donghae wasn’t really comfortable staying the night. Yunho’s afraid that Donghae is just going to leave him, but I don’t think he will. Donghae is a reasonable guy.”

“And? Yunho, not Donghae.”

“And nothing, Yoochun. We talked. We … he let me know that no matter what happens that I’ll always have a place here, that I can call this my home until I find my own way, my own spot in this world.”

“That’s good. I was worried about where you’d go between semesters and stuff.”

“Things are still … tense between us though. Like if we’re too close for too long, one of us pulls away really fast, because that physical attraction is there, it’s there so fucking strongly, but it’s like we already said good bye to that part, you know.”

“Yeah. I understand. No more threesomes then?”

Jae laughed. “Not with him. Now if we can get MinSu to cooperate.”

Yoochun’s smile fell, and his body tensed.

Jae pushed up enough to look at him. “What?”

“I … I don’t know. What?”

Jae moved again, shifting until they each leaned against one side of the alcove. They each had one leg bent, wrapped round the others’ leg. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but it was cozy. Their other legs dangled off the side of the alcove, and their ankles crossed

“You’re stalling,” Yoochun said.

“Yeah, but I don’t know. God, I’ve been saying that a lot today. This shit is fucking confusing.”

“I still like you,” Yoochun said quickly. “Let’s go from there.”

Jae smiled. He put his hand on his knee and spread his fingers. Yoochun reached over and entwined their fingers.

“I like you,” Jae said, glad it was dark to cover the blush. “God, I feel like a twelve year old school girl.”

Yoochun laughed.

“I … will you tell me?”

“About what?”

“Before, when … when we were fifteen?”

Yoochun never took his eyes from Jaejoong’s. “Well, I lied. I haven’t liked you since we were fifteen. I’ve liked you was since we were twelve, but when you’re twelve, you don’t understand these things. It wasn’t until later that it really hit me.”

“Twelve?”

“Yeah. After YoungSeang. I … I wanted to hurt him so much. Do you remember, at school?”

Jaejoong’s throat closed. He nodded and squeezed Yoochun’s fingers. It was the first time Jaejoong had let himself break down over his parents dying, and the man he was supposed to trust as a father had raped him. Yoochun held him in the bathroom, glared at anyone that came in, and Jae had cried for hours.

“I meant it then and I mean it now. I’ll always protect you, but after that day, it was like you were this different, strong person that didn’t need me to protect you. I kept waiting for you to ditch me. To find another best friend that was cooler, and knew what to do when you needed them. I never knew what to do.”

“You always knew, Yoochun. Always. You were always there when I needed someone to hold me. And you were always there to listen to me and joke around with me. It’s like my life was normal when I was with you.”

“I almost died from pure happiness the first time you kissed me,” Yoochun said, voice so low that Jaejoong tried to shift forward to hear him. “We were fourteen. Do you remember?”

“Honestly, no.”

Yoochun inhaled sharply.

“I’m sorry. I don’t. I just … one day you were there, and then you were there but I was kissing you. I don’t remember. It makes me feel like a jack ass. Tell me. Help me remember, please.”

Yoochun cleared his throat. “After school, we stopped in the alley between the ramen shop and the bakery. I bought you pudding.”

Jae smiled. “That was the first time I kissed you?” he said and giggled.

“Yeah. You were having a bad day, and bitching about this new sister who liked to lord over you.”

“The one with the hot boyfriend whose name I can’t recall but managed to seduce in two days.”

Yoochun laughed. “Yeah, that one. We sat in the little doorway in that alley and ate the pudding and then you kissed me and thanked me for it, and then we sat there until you got bored and demanded that we go somewhere else.”

“I remember that,” Jae said. “I probably don’t remember all of our firsts though. Not like you would with a normal boyfriend. Fuck, or a normal friend. I do remember the first time you let me suck your cock though.”

“Let you? You practically mouth-raped me in the locker room.”

“I know. You loved it.”

“I did. But the hardest part for me was knowing that I was just like all the rest. I … it hurt.” Yoochun stopped talking.

Jae ran his thumb over Yoochun’s knuckles.

“And then under the bridge.” Yoochun’s fingers tightened and he looked away. “I finally thought you were mine. That you liked me like I liked you, and you were only going to be with me, but then you weren’t and you were just someone else’s whore again.”

Jae tugged on his arm, pulled him forward and hugged him. “I don’t know how to say how sorry I am. I don’t.”

Yoochun’s arms slowly wrapped around him. Lips pressed against his cheek.

“I’d like to think that if you told me, that things would be different,” Jae said. “And I think they would be, but not for the better. I probably would have laughed at you. Said something flippant and pushed you away like I always did.”

Yoochun sighed. “You did that, you know. Right before Yunho. I’d say about a month, maybe two. I asked you. I mean, I was scared, and I’d never come right out and ask you, but we were joking around and I said something like, ‘then you should be my boyfriend’ and you looked at me, and for a brief moment, I thought you were actually thinking about it, and then you laughed and laughed and laughed and said that was the funniest thing I’d ever said.”

“Are you crying?” Jae whispered.

“No,” Yoochun said with a hitch in his voice.

Jae pushed him away enough to cup his cheeks and wipe at his tears. “I was a selfish bastard, Yoochun. I remember that day too, and it was the first time you didn’t kiss me before you went home.”

Yoochun nodded. “I just … I couldn’t anymore, you know? Every time I kissed you it was like a tiny piece of me was torn away.”

Even though his mind was telling him not to, Jaejoong pulled Yoochun forward and pressed their lips together briefly. “Do you still feel like that?”

Yoochun shrugged. “No. I got used to it, and then you were with Yunho, and even if it wasn’t with me, I was so glad you weren’t sleeping around, that you found someone to at least try to be normal with no matter how fucked up it was.”

“The threesomes helped.”

“Definitely.”

Jaejoong hugged him tightly. “I never would have gone to college if you weren’t there with me, Chunnie. If I hadn’t gotten accepted, I would have been a porn star.”

“Liar. You’d still be here arguing with Yunho about not going to college.”

“College. What a fucking trip it’s been. And it’s only the third month.”

“God, don’t remind me. Did you do that reading for Ancient composers?”

Jae scoffed. “No. I figure I’ll read through Changmin’s notes on Tuesday morning.”

“And what are … well, Changmin. Junsu. Are we … what are we, Jaejoong?”

Jae bit his lower lip. “Will you kill me if I say I don’t know?”

“No. I don’t know either. Do we keep what we have with MinSu, risking whatever this is, or do we follow this and piss MinSu off and break their hearts?”

Jae sighed. “Well, when you put it that way … foursome?”

Yoochun laughed, falling back against the edge of the alcove. “That is a perfect idea.”

“I know you want Junsu’s ass.”

“Yeah.”

“And you know I’m in love with Changmin’s cock.”

“Well, what kind of bottom whore would you be if you weren’t? But you also really like Changmin. I know you do. You two are almost lovey dovey with each other, and frankly, it’s incredibly disconcerting seeing you act like that.”

“I do really like him, but we’re talking about a guy I’ve known for not even three months, compared to you, who I’ve loved for who knows how long.”

Yoochun smiled. “You don’t remember the first time you told me you loved me, do you?”

Jae smirked. “Yes. I do.”

“Really? Pray tell.”

Jae smacked his knee lightly, and then said, “It was after Jungsoo raped me. Well, okay, technically, it wasn’t rape, but it was damn close. And you let me crawl into your bed and I told you I loved you because you were the only one that I could ever count on, and you said you loved me and that you’d always be there for me.”

Yoochun shook his head. “True. But that wasn’t the first time.”

“What? Yes, it was.”

“We were eight,” Yoochun said. “And I asked you if it was okay for boys to love each other, and you said that you hoped so because you loved me because we were best friends.”

“That doesn’t count,” Jae said.

“Yes, it does.”

Jae laughed. He leaned forward and Yoochun met him half way and they kissed again, softly, hands on each others’ legs.

Yoochun broke away first. “So what’s our decision?”

Jae shrugged. “God, Chunnie, I don’t know. Before, I’d say we hide it, have our fun with them but really be together, but Junsu said awhile ago that if you lie and get caught, it’s worse than if you just told the truth, even if the truth sucks.”

“So we break up with them?”

“God, I don’t want to.”

“Me neither, surprisingly. Junsu’s cute, and when he’s not talking about religious shit, I actually like him.”

“I won’t lie to Changmin.”

“I know. So we don’t lie. We tell them straight up and let them decide?”

Jae laughed. “Ah, put the blame and decision on someone else, huh?”

“Yeah. I figure you’ve been doing it for long enough, should be second nature by now.”

“Shut up.”

“Got another smoke?” Yoochun asked.

“Yeah.” Jae pulled one out and lit it and they passed it back and forth. When it was gone and Yoochun had flicked it away in an arch of orange sparks, Jae said, “In or out?”

Yoochun sighed. “I don’t know. In is what I want, but …”

“Yeah.”

“We’re leaving tomorrow at about noon if you want to hitch a ride back up to school.”

Jae shook his head. “I already have a train ticket. Yunho’s dropping me off at the station early on his way to work.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you up there then.”

Jae nodded. “Okay.”

They hugged again and Jae couldn’t let go, not yet, but Yoochun didn’t seem to mind, arms tight around Jae’s waist.

“I am so sorry for everything I’ve done to you,” Jae whispered. “I had no idea I was hurting you. I love you so much and it makes me so upset that you loved me and I didn’t see it.”

Yoochun kissed his cheek. “Better late than never, I guess.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. Stop apologizing. Give me a kiss and then go try to sleep.”

“Okay.”

Their goodbye kiss was short, little more than a press of lips. Yoochun smiled at him. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you,” Jae replied.

Yoochun jumped down from the ledge, made his way off the roof and Jaejoong watched him until he disappeared in the dark. He sighed and climbed through the window.

Jae smiled and lay in bed. He held his phone securely, waiting for Yoochun’s message that he arrived home. It came not even five minutes later.

 **mickyMouse** = I’m home now. My mom is pissed =

 **superHero** ~ she’ll survive ~  
**superHero** ~ sleep well ~

 **mickyMouse** = you too ♥ =

 **superHero** ~ ♥ it’s a little battered, beaten, and fickle, and it doesn’t have the best track record, but I hope you want it anyway ~

 **mickyMouse** = forever =


	19. postponing the present

Jaejoong entered his dorm room with a sigh. Things had been complicated before the weekend, and they were about to get worse. He wanted to see Changmin so badly, but he didn’t want to see him either.

His phone beeped.

 **minnieMouse** | I’m on my way there |  
**minnieMouse** | are you going to be waiting for me like you said? |

Jaejoong smiled.

 **superHero** ~ no … I … it’s been a long weekend ~  
**superHero** ~ maybe after we cuddle for a bit, but I can’t wait to see you ~

 **minnieMouse** | I’ll make all your worries go away |

 **superHero** ~ yeah. I just got here. I’m tired, early train ~  
**superHero** ~ I’m going to take a nap ~

 **minnieMouse** | rest up *leers* |

Jaejoong did lie down, but he didn’t sleep. He waited for Yoochun to text him, but the next text wasn’t from Yoochun.

 **I’m_old_UKnow** \+ did you arrive? +

 **superHero** ~ yes ~

 **I’m_old_UKnow** \+ problems all worked out? +

 **superHero** ~ no. I’m the only one here. Changmin should be here soon. Chunnie won’t be here until later. I don’t know about Su. ~

 **I’m_old_UKnow** \+ I have a meeting, so I have to go, but remember, that honesty is better than lies +

 **superHero** ~ I know. I know. ~

A few minutes after Yunho’s text, Jaejoong grew impatient. Yoochun had said he’d text when he was on his way, but it was after one already.

 **superHero** ~ where are you ~

 **mickyMouse** = last family lunch, my mom is stalling =

 **superHero** ~ tell her you have homework ~

 **mickyMouse** = already tried and now she’s bitching at me for having my phone out =

Jae sighed. He really hated Yoochun’s mom sometimes. Yoochun had tried on more than one occasion to get his parents to let Jaejoong live with them. But Jaejoong was a pain in the ass. He didn’t blame his mom, just didn’t really like her.

 **mickyMouse** = I’m in the car =  
**mickyMouse** = I told her that I didn’t care how long it took her to get ready, but that I’d wait in the car =

 **superHero** ~ lol, good one ~

 **mickyMouse** = we’ll see how long it takes her to get out here =  
**mickyMouse** = min or su there yet? =

 **superHero** ~ no. min will be here in a couple hours. I don’t know about su ~

 **mickyMouse** = I miss Su =

Jaejoong frowned. He knew it was true, because he missed Changmin, but a spark of jealousy shot through him at the thought of Yoochun running to Junsu as soon as he got here.

 **mickyMouse** = *eyeroll* god, don’t get all emo about that =

 **superHero** ~ I’m NOT ~

 **mickyMouse** = you ARE =

 **superHero** ~ I’m NOT. I miss Changmin as much as you miss Su. Probably more, since I get to fuck Changmin ~

 **mickyMouse** = … *pouts* … =

 **superHero** ~ yeah, see. I know ~

After a couple minutes of not getting a response, Jaejoong sighed. This was ridiculous. They couldn’t do this, they couldn’t love each other and talk about MinSu.

 **mickyMouse** = this is a mess =

 **superHero** ~ yes, it is ~

 **mickyMouse** = okay, my mom is finally coming =

 **superHero** ~ it’s about time ~

Again Jaejoong waited for a response, but he didn’t get one. He curled up on his bed, with his new Smells-Like-Yunho pillow that he had snagged off Yunho’s bed right before he left. He knew, like the first one, that it wouldn’t smell like Yunho for long, but for today, it was enough of a comfort.

Eventually he fell into a light sleep, but he woke up immediately when the door shut.

“Hi, Jaejoong,” Junsu said.

“Hey, Su.” Jae rolled over, face half hidden and watched as he unpacked his things. “What’s wrong?”

Junsu jerked, a bit startled. “Oh, um, nothing really, just burning in hell for all my sins. The usual.”

Jae chuckled. “Yeah. We’ll burn together though. At least you’re alive. The parents didn’t find out?”

With a sigh, Junsu said, “No, but I told my brother.”

“And?”

“He … he’s gay, too. Well, not gay because he likes girls just as much as boys, but he’s been fucking around for two years.”

“Good for him. You have a lot of catching up to do.”

Junsu blushed. “Is Yoochun here?”

“No. His mom was being a bitch, and they didn’t leave until after one. He won’t be here until seven or so.”

“Um, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Have … you and Yoochun … in the … well, it’s weird, because I thought you were, but Junho said you probably weren’t, but I don’t know, what—”

“Su, please. I’m too tired to decipher your embarrassed rambling.”

“I … have you and Yoochun been … you know, having sex?”

“Lately, or in general?” Jae asked very carefully.

“Lately. Like since you’ve been with Changmin.”

“No. Why?”

“I thought you were.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, well, I figured that since I wasn’t ready yet that he’d be getting it from somewhere. Has he been with Heechul?”

Jae shook his head. “No, Su. He likes you. He hasn’t been having sex at all. And I consider Changmin to be my boyfriend. I’m not like I used to be and fucking everything that has a cock. This is the first time I’ve been exclusive with anyone, including not fucking Yoochun.”

“Oh.” Junsu stood there, face pensive. He bit his lower lip.

“Wait, you said yet,” Jaejoong said, sitting up. “Does that mean you’re ready to have sex with him?”

Junsu sat hard on his bed and put his face in his hands. “Junho says that as soon as I do I’m going to be kicking myself for waiting because it’s so good.”

“Your brother is smart.”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t have to be scared, Su,” Jaejoong said. “Yoochun likes you. He’ll do his best not to make it hurt.”

“I know. Where’s Changmin?”

“He should be here soon.”

Junsu nodded. He went to his desk, pulled out his text book and started reading.

“Oh, fuck that, Su,” Jae said. “You just got back.”

“Well, I didn’t read over the weekend.”

“Neither did I, but you know as well as I do that Changmin did, and he took notes on it, so I’m just going to read his notes.”

Su smiled. “You should do your own work.”

“That’s what I tell Changmin when I’m riding his cock.”

Su blushed, but still managed a small smile. “It … sex feels good?”

Jae scoffed. “Yes, it does. Beyond good. Your first time is going to hurt, maybe the second and third time too. It will Depend on how much your gorgeous ass wants it.”

Junsu put his head on the table.

“Stop stressing,” Jae said. “You’ll be fine.”

There was a soft knock on the door, and then it opened. Jae smiled widely and shouted Changmin’s name. He held his arms out and demanded, “Come here. Now.”

Changmin chuckled. He stopped at Junsu’s desk and handed him some papers. “Here. My notes. You look too stressed to concentrate.”

Junsu pouted, but nodded and took the notes. “Thanks, Min.”

Jae made a noise and said, “Um, hello? Arms out, needing a cuddle.”

Changmin went to his bed and sat down. Jae curled his arms around Changmin’s waist and kissed his neck. Changmin shivered, and then said, “Here. From MinJi.”

He opened up a piece of paper. There were three crude stick figures on it, but underneath were names. “Jae, Min, Ji”

“She really likes you,” Changmin said.

Jae swallowed. He’d never been given anything like that before.

“She calls you ‘Pretty Jae’,” Changmin said and nuzzled Jaejoong’s neck. “’Is Pretty Jae your best best friend?’ ‘Can Pretty Jae come with us?’ ‘Why isn’t Pretty Jae here?’ Full of questions all weekend long.”

“Wow.” Jae met Changmin’s eyes. “I have no idea how to react to this.”

“She wants you to draw her a picture,” Changmin said. “ ‘Tell Pretty Jae to make me a picture, too’. So do that.”

“I will. She’s really cute.”

“So are you,” Changmin returned and then suddenly his lips were against Jae’s and Jae was pushed back on the bed, Changmin hovering over him.

Jae panicked, inside of course. He’d never let Changmin see that. With firm hands on his shoulder, Jaejoong pushed Changmin back. “I wanted a cuddle, remember?”

Changmin smiled. “Yes, but I wanted a kiss.”

“You have your kiss, give me my cuddle.”

Changmin moved to the side, between Jae and the wall. He lay down and Jae scooted up to him, back to Changmin’s front. Changmin’s arm draped over him. Jae sighed and settled against him.

“What happened that you’re so upset?” Changmin asked.

Jae bit his lip. He was definitely going to wait for Yoochun before bringing that up, so he told them about meeting Donghae and the talks he had with Yunho.

“Well, that’s good,” Junsu said. “I mean, of course, you love him and everything, but at least you’re not so broken up that you have no where to go.”

Jae nodded. “I know. Still hurts though.”

“No fucking?” Changmin asked.

Jae smiled. “No. Besides a kiss, a few hugs and a lot of awkward moments when we were too close to each other, we didn’t do anything.”

“Good,” Changmin said and kissed Jae’s cheek.

Guilt—god, fucking guilt—filled Jae to the point where he could no longer look at Changmin and he turned away quickly before he could see it cover his face. But that meant he was looking at Junsu and Junsu was looking at him in wide eyed wonderment.

“Oh, Min, you hungry?”

“Um, is the sun hot?”

Jae smiled. “In my bag is some kimchi jjigae that I made.”

Changmin sat up and shouted, “You made kimchi jjiage?” He was off the bed in the next moment.

“Only half of that is yours, dongsaeng,” Jae said quickly. “Save some for Yoochun and Junsu.”

“Oh my god, I love you,” Changmin said as he dug through Jae’s bag. “Well, I love this part of you anyway. God.” A moment later, with a container firmly in his hands, Changmin was out of the room.

Junsu stared at Jaejoong.

“What?” Jae asked, not meeting his eyes.

“What are you hiding?”

“I’m not hidin-“

“I know guilt when I see it. What happened with Yunho?”

“I told you what happened with Yunho.”

Junsu moved to the bed and sat down, not facing Jae. “There’s one thing I don’t understand.”

“What’s that?”

“Why you went to Yunho’s. You were going to stay here.”

“Yeah, well, I went.”

“And if you say nothing happened with Yunho, then what happened with Yoochun?”

“What?”

Junsu shrugged. “There’s a reason why you feel guilty.”

“What is this? Some sort of confession?”

“Do you need to confess something?”

Jae opened his mouth to lie, but Changmin came back in the room. He was already eating right from the bowl.

“Oh my god, Jaejoong, this is so fucking good. Cook for me forever.”

Jae chuckled and then tugged on Junsu’s arm.

“What?” Junsu asked.

“My cuddler has been distracted, so now you get to do it.”

Junsu sighed. “Fine. It’s not like I could concentrate anyway.” Junsu lay down, on his back, as Jae directed him, and Jaejoong curled up against his side.

“What about me?” Changmin said, frowning.

“You eat, and then come back,” Jae said. He gestured to the space behind him. “Your spot is still here.”

“You’re such a cuddle whore,” Changmin said.

“I’m an everything whore,” Jae shot back with a grin.

“So you said you had a fight with Yoochun,” Changmin said.

Junsu shot a look at Jaejoong. Jaejoong didn’t meet his eyes.

“What was that about?” Changmin asked.

Jae sighed. “It … it … can we talk about it later?”

“Are you and Yoochun still fighting?” Junsu asked.

“No.”

“What happened?”

“Fuck. What part of talk about it later did you not understand? I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Or are you just waiting until Yoochun gets here?” Junsu asked.

“Drop it.”

“You’re hiding something,” Junsu whispered.

“Fuck off.”

Junsu sighed and put his arms around Jae. “Is it really that bad?”

Jae didn’t know how to answer that, so he didn’t.


	20. decisions, decisions, decisions

It was a long few hours. Yoochun stared out the window of the car, keeping his anger in check as his mom drove slowly onto campus, and slowly towards the dorms.

“It doesn’t matter how slow you drive,” Yoochun snapped, “I’m still fucking Jaejoong as soon as I get there.”

“Watch your mouth,” she said. “Such crudeness.”

“You know, why don’t you just stop here and I’ll get out and walk. I’ll get there faster.”

His mom looked at him with a frown.

Hours later, she finally stopped in front of his dorm building.

“May I have my phone back?” he asked.

She frowned and took it from her purse and gave it back. There were five missed calls from Jaejoong and more than ten texts.

“He thinks I died,” Yoochun said and sent Jae a text really fast to say he was here. He climbed out of the car without saying goodbye and slung his back pack over his shoulder. He slammed the car door.

“Yoochun,” his mom said through the window.

He turned around and demanded, “What?”

She frowned. “Be good.”

Yoochun scoffed. “I’ll have Jaejoong call you and tell you how good I am.” He spun around and called Jaejoong.

“What the hell?” Jae answered. “It’s almost nine.”

“I know. But she was driving under the speed limit and then we had to stop for dinner.”

Yoochun entered the building. “Are you in your room?”

“Yeah, all of us are.”

There was a tone to his voice that made Yoochun walk faster. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s … awkward.”

“Did you tell them?”

“No, I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Coward.”

“And you’re not?”

“True. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Kay.”

Yoochun hung up and sprinted up the stairs.

“Hey, Chunnie,” Heechul said as Yoochun barreled past him.

“Hey, Heechul-shi. Can’t stop.”

Heechul chuckled behind him. “Need to fuck a preacher boy,” he muttered.

Yoochun waved him away and then entered Jae’s room.

It didn’t look like things were awkward. All three of them were squished on Jaejoong’s bed, but there was definite tension in the air.

“Yoochun!” Junsu shouted and pried himself away from Jaejoong and launched himself at Yoochun. Yoochun caught him, held him close and pressed their lips together in a brief kiss.

“I’m glad you didn’t die,” Yoochun said.

Junsu smiled. “Yeah. My … I had to lie, but I’m better now. I talked to Junho about it.”

“Good.”

Yoochun met Jaejoong’s eyes.

Changmin, despite Jae’s grip on his arm, sat up and leaned against the wall. “Okay. Can we talk about why Jaejoong is being vague and guilty now?”

“I’m not being guilty.”

“You are.”

“Jae doesn’t know how to feel guilt,” Yoochun said.

Jae frowned. “Shut up. I do, too.”

Yoochun and Junsu sat on Junsu’s bed, curled together, but Jaejoong couldn’t curl up with Changmin, so he sat on the edge of the bed and looked at his hands.

“Someone say something,” Changmin said after a moment. He ran his hand on Jae’s back.

“Me or you?” Yoochun asked.

Jae winced. “You.”

Yoochun smirked. “You’re a coward.”

“So? You gave me the option.”

Yoochun sighed. “After you guys left, Jae and I had a plan to have sex.”

Changmin visibly stiffened.

“But god, somehow we ended up fighting instead, because Jae didn’t want to cheat on Changmin and I was horny, and … well, I sort of let it slip that I’ve been in love with Jaejoong for a long time.”

Changmin took his hand away from Jaejoong.

“You shoved it in my face as a reason to fuck you,” Jae corrected.

Yoochun grinned. “Yeah. Not my finest moment. But then I left and we both went home. I didn’t know Jae went to Yunho’s until he called me.”

“I … I didn’t know where else to go,” Jae whispered, face in his hands.

“Then we had a talk,” Yoochun said.

Changmin sighed. “And the results of this talk?”

Jae turned to look at him. Changmin's face was carefully blank, but Yoochun could tell that all it would take was one little thing and he’d snap. Jae either didn’t see it, or decided there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

“We love each other,” Jae said.

Changmin looked away.

“We … we do, but we like you both,” Jae continued. “It’s like …”

“Have your cake and eat it too,” Changmin muttered.

“What?”

Changmin glared at Jaejoong. “You get to love him and be with him, but you like me, so I’m just supposed to sit back and let you do what you want with me.”

“No,” Jae said. “That’s not it at all.”

“Then what the hell is it?” Changmin demanded and climbed off the bed. “Think of what you’re saying, Jaejoong. You two love each other, and we’re supposed to be happy with being second best? That’s bullshit.”

Changmin stormed across the room.

“Changmin, wait,” Jae said, “let us explain—“

“What else is there to explain, hyung?” Changmin asked. “I thought that after you left Yunho, and Yoochun had Junsu that we could be together, but I guess that was stupid of me, wasn’t it?”

“I’m not breaking up with you,” Jae said.

“No. You’re just asking me to let you be selfish.”

“I’m not!”

Changmin sighed. “Really, Jaejoong?” The door slammed behind him.

Jae whimpered and threw himself to the bed, curled up in a ball, body shaking.

Yoochun sighed and looked down at Junsu still curled up in his arms. “What about you?”

“I thought you two were still fucking each other, so whatever.”

Yoochun laughed. “What?”

“I figured since I wasn’t ready, you’d be getting it from him, or from Heechul. I didn’t know you weren’t fucking anyone.”

“Wow.”

“It’s okay that you love him,” Junsu said. “I mean, this is all brand new for me anyway. Experiments and stuff. I like you and all, but … yeah.”

Yoochun smiled and kissed Junsu’s forehead.

“I’m going to go talk some sense into Changmin,” Junsu said. “You go make Jaejoong feel better.”

“Thanks, Su. You’re awesome, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Junsu kissed him, pulling a started gasp from Yoochun when he bit down on Yoochun’s lip. “My brother was telling me some things, and yesterday it took all my effort not to jerk off to the thought of you sucking me off.”

Yoochun grinned. “You can stroke one off now.”

“Rather have you do it with your mouth.”

“God, yes. I will. Fuck Changmin. Let’s do it now.”

“You need to go take care of your best friend first.”

“You okay, Jae?”

“Fuck you, Chunnie,” Jae muttered against his pillow.

Yoochun sighed.

With one more kiss, Junsu stood up. “I’ll be back, hopefully with Changmin.”

Yoochun waited until the door shut behind Junsu. He stared at Jaejoong’s shaking body and then sighed. He whispered, “Do you want me to come and hold you?”

“Yes.”

Yoochun rose and moved to the bed. He lay on his side and then curled around Jaejoong. Pressing a kiss to his neck, he whispered, “Don’t worry.”

“Why not?”

“Changmin likes you. A lot.”

“Do you remember what I said a few weeks ago, before I kissed Changmin, before all of this?”

“Maybe. Tell me.”

“I asked you why we even needed anyone else. And you said for the challenge.”

“Yes. I remember that.”

“Well?”

Yoochun sighed. “What do you want, Jaejoong?”

“I don’t want to do this anymore, that’s for sure. I’m tired of my heart hurting, Chunnie. You don’t make it hurt. You have never made it hurt. Well, except for Saturday, but first time in eight years, I say that’s pretty good.”

Yoochun chuckled. “Let’s see if Junsu can talk to Changmin first, okay?”

“He hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s just frustrated.”

“Why can’t I ever do anything right, Chunnie?”

“It takes practice. You’ve only been doing the right thing for a few weeks.”

“Please stop making jokes,” Jae practically shouted.

“I’m not, baby, come on. I’m serious. It does. You have to learn to weigh your options and then decide what to do. I know you know how to do that. You’ve survived a hellish life doing that. But now you just need to change what option you pick.”

“So which one is right? Which one causes the least amount of pain for you, for Changmin?”

“What about for you?”

Jae scoffed. “I deserve a bit of pain after everything I’ve put you through.”

Yoochun tightened his hold. “Don’t ever say that, love. Ever. You hear me? I could have left, I could have abandoned you, but I didn’t. I chose the option that I wanted. What do you want?”

Jae sighed. “I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, too. You don’t have to know everything. You don’t have to solve everything.”

“Kiss me?”

Yoochun kissed his cheek. Jae turned his face and their lips pressed together in a shaky kiss.

“Love me?” Jae whispered.

“Of course. Love me?”

“Always.”

~+~+~+~+~

Junsu slipped into Changmin and Yoochun’s room. Changmin was on his bed, facing the wall, curled on his side. Junsu sat on the edge.

It was quiet and then Changmin asked, “Did you run away, too?”

“No. I’ve been sent on a peacekeeping mission.”

Changmin snorted. “Guess that’s good. I’m not likely to punch the religious one.”

“What’s wrong, Min?”

“Really, you’re asking me that?”

“Well, yeah, because I don’t understand. You’re the one that told me that if you get one, you get the other. That they’re more like one person than two.”

“I know, but … I thought that since Yoochun had you, I wouldn’t have to share. Aren’t you bothered by this at all?”

Junsu chuckled. “Not really. Their relationship doesn’t bother me. It’s kind of sweet, when you think about it. Yoochun having this unrequited love for so long, and then Jae finally realizing he loves him too. I thought they were still fucking anyway, since I wouldn’t do anything with Yoochun.”

Changmin looked over at him in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

Changmin rolled on his back, arms above his head. “I … it hurts. I mean, I know I’m really young, and no where near as experienced as the two of them, but I feel like Jaejoong is just playing with my heart and ripping it to pieces.”

“He isn’t meaning to. He’s in the other room crying his eyes out at the moment because he doesn’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m sure Yoochun can take care of him.”

Junsu smiled. “And who’s going to take care of you?”

Changmin snorted again.

“Really, Min. Stop being an ass. Twenty bucks says the two of them are making out.”

“I thought you were supposed to be helping,” Changmin said and rolled on his side again. “Thinking about them making out is not helping.”

Junsu took a deep breath as he stared at Changmin. His brother had told him to have fun. Would this be fun, or would this just make Changmin feel worse? Did Junsu care? Yes, he did. Changmin was his friend. He settled a hand on Changmin’s shoulder.

“You know, Min. It really isn’t fair if the two of them think they can have us and have each other. I mean, it’s the best of both worlds, really.”

“It’s selfish.”

“Yeah. So if they get to be selfish, then we should get to be selfish, too.”

“What do you mean?”

“If they get to share each other, what’s stopping us from sharing each other?”

Changmin turned his head and stared at him with narrowed eyes.

“I’m just saying,” Junsu said with a shrug. “If they’re in there making out and having fun with each other, why can’t we do that, too?”

“Alright,” Changmin said and rolled over so he was facing Junsu. “Who are you and what have you done with Junsu?”

Junsu laughed. “Jae said that to me a few weeks ago. And I … I don’t know. I don’t want the only person I’ve kissed to be Yoochun. That’s like … kind of pathetic, you know?”

“So, you’re now Junsu the Slut instead of Junsu the Righteous?”

“I don’t like that name. Slutty Su sounds better.”

Changmin burst out laughing. Junsu decided that was a good sign and he moved closer.

Changmin shook his head but didn’t hesitate to pull Junsu against him. “What happened to our straightness?”

Junsu shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t really care. Kiss me now?”

Changmin sighed. “Why the hell not?”

Junsu leaned down. Changmin’s hand slid up his shoulder and into his hair. He pulled Junsu down to him, and their lips met. It was no where near as terrifying as his first kiss with Yoochun. Changmin’s other hand settled on Junsu’s hip, and then curled around his body. Junsu moaned and shifted closer. Their kissed stayed chaste for another couple of seconds, and then Changmin swiped his tongue along Junsu’s lower lip. Junsu hummed in agreement and deepened the kiss, letting his body fall completely against Changmin’s. Without stopping the kiss, they adjusted until Junsu was flush against Changmin’s chest and each had a leg between the others. They both moaned when Changmin moved his hips.

“Yoochun has taught you well,” Changmin said against Junsu’s lips.

Junsu smiled. “He’s an amazing kisser.”

“So are you,” Changmin said. “Stop talking.”

“You started it.”

Changmin smirked and kissed him again, more dominate, more passionate, and Junsu meeped and followed along. He knew Changmin was frustrated, and taking his frustrations at Jae out on him. Not that Junsu minded. It was a fucking sexy kiss, and by the time Changmin finally broke away, Junsu was aching for more.

“Feel better?” Junsu whispered, kissing down Changmin’s cheek to his neck.

Changmin’s fingers were light on his back, tracing circles over his t-shirt. “I don’t know.”

“You should go talk to Jaejoong. He likes you. And like you said. You’re still young, Changmin. This isn’t going to be your only relationship.”

“I know. It’s really hard not to fall for him.”

Junsu pushed up enough to look down at him. “You know, if you’re really mad, you could always punish him for it.”

“What?”

“I was talking to Yoochun last week about some things, and Jaejoong loves to be spanked and whipped and gagged and—”

Changmin blushed and looked away.

“Go take your frustration out on him. It’s his fault anyway. Throw a cock ring on him and fuck him until he’s begging.”

“Okay, I’m serious. Who the fuck are you?”

Junsu giggled and rolled away, and off the bed. He held his hands out for Changmin. “Come on. You need to talk to Jaejoong and I need Yoochun to suck me off.”

Changmin sighed, but let Junsu pull him up and lead him from the room.


	21. cock rings and spanking and gags ... oh my!

Just outside the others’ door, Changmin stopped. “I … I can’t do this, Su.”

“Why not?” Su whispered back.

“I …”

“Would you rather not have him at all? And think of it this way. You’re with him, but if you see something else you like, then you can have that, too.”

Changmin stared at him.

Junsu put his arms around Changmin’s neck. “You’re looking at me like you see something you like.”

“Don’t be so cliché.”

“Don’t be so chicken shit.”

“If I walk in there and they’re fucking, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“I do.”

“What?”

“Join them. Yoochun owes me a blow job.”

Changmin shut his eyes. “This new you is weirding me out.”

Junsu chuckled. “And for the first time, I feel … fine. You know. Like … like, yeah, I’m going to burn in hell, but all of you are going to burn with me. Stop stalling.”

Changmin sighed. He bent down and kissed Junsu briefly. “If I can’t do this, then I want to do you.”

“Fine. But you’ll have to share me with Yoochun, you know. He gets me first.”

“This is fucked up.”

“Yes, it is.”

Junsu reached behind Changmin and opened the door. Changmin turned in Junsu’s arms, and with one more deep breath, he entered the room. Yoochun and Jaejoong were curled up on Jaejoong’s bed, though Jae was under the blanket and Yoochun wasn’t. Jae lay on his back, Yoochun on his side. One hand was resting on Jae’s stomach.

They both looked over at the same time. Their eyes widened in surprise at the same time.

“Half of a whole,” Changmin muttered.

Junsu’s arms stayed around his stomach. “Go get him,” he whispered against Changmin’s neck. “Be dominating.”

Changmin nodded once, and Junsu released him. Changmin went to the other bed, trying to calm his shaking hands. He wasn’t sure if he had the right to do this when the two of them obviously loved each other so much.

 _Just do it_ , his inner slutty!Su told him.

He crawled on the bed, trapping both of them there with his arms and legs. He held Yoochun’s eyes, unable to look at Jaejoong, but in the corner of his eye, he saw Jaejoong biting his lower lip. Changmin took one more stabilizing breath, and then before he could talk himself out of it, he bent down and kissed Yoochun. Yoochun gasped in surprise, but didn’t stop him, nor did they close their eyes. It was a brief kiss, soft, and only a touch of tongue.

Jae whimpered.

Changmin pulled away. “Mind if I chat with your soul mate?”

Yoochun scoffed. “Nope. Not at all.”

Changmin moved enough for Yoochun crawl out from under him.

“Changmin—“ Jae said.

“No,” Changmin said, and turned his full attention to Jaejoong. “You are going to shut up and you are going to let me talk. Is that going to be a problem?”

Jae swallowed and shook his head.

“Hey, Min.”

Changmin turned to Junsu. The smirk on his lips looked out of place. He held out a necktie.

“Just in case.”

Changmin smiled. “Good idea, Su.” Changmin took the tie, folded it once and then slipped it under Jae’s head. Jae couldn’t move, his arms were trapped under the blankets.

“Changmin,” Jae said in disbelief.

He shook his head and tied the fabric, shifting it until it was in Jae’s mouth. He tightened it and finished tying the knots.

Yoochun chuckled. “Don’t be surprised if he gets an erection from that,” he said.

“So? If he gets turned on, it’s more torture for him,” Changmin said. “And he totally deserves to be tortured.”

Jae tried to move and his eyes rolled back with a moan. Changmin shifted one more time, enough to free Jae’s arms and then take him by the wrists and pin them above Jae’s head.

“Now. Listen.”

Jae nodded.

“This is entirely unfair, but I get it. Okay? Yoochun told me you were going to break my heart, and I guess it’s my own fault that I thought you wouldn’t. I am definitely a little bit in love with you, but again, Yoochun says that’s normal. That everyone falls in love with you even if you’re a bastard, or maybe because you’re a bastard, I’m not sure. But Junsu, who is from now on to be known as Slutty Su, says that this is good for us, since we’re so new to the gay thing, that we don’t have to settle down with you two. And by the way, Yoochun has taught Junsu to kiss very, very well.”

“You kissed him?” Yoochun said in surprise.

“Well, yeah,” Junsu said. “If you and Jae get to play around with each other, why can’t we?”

“You have a point,” Yoochun said.

Jae’s gaze flicked to Yoochun and settled back on Changmin.

“And,” Changmin said, leaning forward so his lips just barely brushed against Jae’s cheek. “Slutty Su may have mentioned that for being a douche and for making us make this choice, you should be punished.”

Jae’s eyes went wide and he said something behind the gag.

“But I don’t know,” Changmin said. He sat back, and right on Jae’s crotch where there was indeed a hard cock. “I think you may like it too much. So instead, you are going to stay right here. You are not to touch yourself or to move, except your head to watch.”

With those instructions, Changmin let Jaejoong go and climbed off his lap. Jae’s eyes shut with a whimper, but he didn’t move, arms staying above his head.

Changmin walked over to YooSu on the other bed.

“You’re evil,” Yoochun said with a smile.

“He deserves it.”

Yoochun nodded. “And what do I deserve?” he asked with a grin. “It’s not like this is just Jaejoong’s fault.”

“True.” Changmin looked at Junsu. “What do you think? What does he deserve?”

Junsu grinned. He pushed Yoochun’s shoulders to the bed and then straddled his waist. “Driven mad by desire? Does that sound good?”

Yoochun moaned and leaned up to kiss him, but Junsu moved away with a laugh.

Changmin snapped his fingers. “I forgot.”

“What?” Junsu asked.

Changmin moved to Jaejoong’s dresser. “Oh, something you mentioned before.” He opened Jae’s drawer of toys. There were so many of them, and Changmin swallowed, a bit intimidated, but he knew what he was looking for. There was a little baggie full of them, and he pulled out a blue, rubber cock ring.

“Does this need to be cleaned or anything?” he asked Yoochun.

“No. Jae takes care of his toys. If it’s in the drawer, it’s already been washed and stuff.”

Changmin nodded. He stood at the end of Jaejoong’s bed. He took the blanket in one hand and tugged until it was on the floor. Jae didn’t move, but his body was shaking, eyes wide. Changmin climbed up on the bed, legs trapping Jaejoong’s. He unbuttoned Jae’s jeans and pulled them and his boxers off at once. Jae moaned, hips arching.

“Did I say you could move?” Changmin asked with a slap on Jae’s hip.

Jae whimpered, but held still. Changmin finished taking the clothes off. He straddled Jae’s knees. Jae’s hard cock jerked against his stomach. Changmin ran a finger down the length of it, pulling a full body shiver from Jaejoong. He touched Jae’s cock only long enough to slide the cock ring over him and cinch it tight.

“Better,” Changmin said. With a tiny flick against the head of Jae’s cock, Changmin climbed off him. “Hands and knees. Now.”

Jae’s eyes went impossibly wider, but he scrambled to do as he was told.

Changmin looked over at the other two. “Think you can handle Yoochun’s punishment on your own?”

Junsu shot a feral smile at Yoochun. “I’m sure I can think of something to do to him.”

“Um, do you want us to leave, Min?” Yoochun asked.

Changmin smirked at Jaejoong. “No. Punishments are more fulfilling if there’s an audience to see it.”

Jae’s eyes went wide again.

Yoochun chuckled. “Someone’s been watching too much porn.”

Changmin smiled. “That is a direct quote from Jaejoong, actually.”

Yoochun laughed. “Why am I not surprised?”

Jaejoong made a noise, and Changmin fought not to turn to him and acknowledge him. He watched as Junsu turned Yoochun’s face to his and said, “You’re talking too much. Less talking, more begging for forgiveness.”

“Can I beg you with my lips?”

“Yes.”

Their lips met and Junsu lowered his body onto Yoochun’s.

Jae whimpered again. This time Changmin turned to him, but only long enough to slap his hip. “Be quiet. Watch them.”

YooSu’s kiss deepened. Junsu tangled hands in Yoochun’s hair, pulling mewls of pleasure from Yoochun’s throat as he tugged. Junsu lowered his hips and thrust against Yoochun’s body. Yoochun broke away from the kiss with a moan.

“Oh, god,” Yoochun said, hands settling on Junsu’s hips. He tightened his grip and thrust up as Junsu kissed down his neck. Agile fingers unbuttoned his shirt.

“Who are you and what have you done with Junsu?” Yoochun said.

“Why do you guys keep saying that?” Junsu demanded and sat up. He crossed his arms. “It’s all your fault. Being naked and sexy and kissing each other and telling me how good it is. And now that I know, you’re all like—ooh, what, what? I’m so confused.”

Changmin chuckled.

Junsu grinned at Yoochun as he pulled his own t-shirt over his head. “It’s about time the two of you suffer the consequences of your actions.” He climbed off Yoochun and said, “Now, strip.”

Yoochun looked over at Jaejoong, but Jaejoong’s eyes were so full of lust that he got no help from them.

Junsu twisted Yoochun’s nipple.

Yoochun cried out.

“I said strip. I want to see you naked. Take your damn clothes off.”

“Okay, okay.”

Yoochun unbuttoned his jeans and slipped them and his boxers off. His shirt and the tank top underneath soon joined the pile on the floor.

“Good,” Junsu said. “Now, be a good boy, don’t touch me and let me play, okay?”

Yoochun smiled and nodded. He put his hands above his head.

Changmin watched a bit longer as Junsu’s lips and tongue attacked the skin of Yoochun’s neck and shoulders. The bed shivered and he remembered his own captive. He turned, meeting Jae’s begging eyes. Changmin, heart still hurting a bit, licked his lips and whispered, “This is hard for me. I … I don’t want to share you, but I will if I have to.”

With that, he moved behind Jaejoong.

Junsu said to let his frustrations out, and it was Jaejoong’s fault anyway. Or at least it was easiest to blame Jaejoong. Without a warning touch, Changmin brought his hand down on Jae’s ass sharply.

Jaejoong jerked and yelped. The other two jumped, but after a single look and a smirk, Junsu went back to teasing Yoochun’s skin.

“Don’t hold back, Min,” Yoochun said, gasping as Junsu’s mouth surrounded his nipple. “Jaejoong hasn’t had a good spanking for months.”

Changmin stared at the spot of skin at it turned pink from his slap. The excuse ‘but I don’t want to hurt you’ was no longer true. Changmin spanked him again, this time accompanied by a moan from Jaejoong. After the fourth one, he lost track. The moans from the other bed molded with the moans and yelps from Jaejoong. His hand stung, Jae’s creamy skin blossomed deep red under the assault.

“Fuck, Junsu,” Yoochun shouted.

Junsu chuckled. “Yeah, baby?”

Changmin stopped, that moment somehow breaking him from the spell. He looked over at the other two. Junsu was licking Yoochun’s thighs, one hand wrapped around Yoochun’s erection.

Jaejoong’s whole body shook. His back shone with sweat. His head dropped low, but he stayed on his hands and knees. Changmin’s cock was so hard. He ran his hands up and down Jae’s ass and thighs before spreading him open. He leaned down and licked Jae’s hole.

Jae cried out, back arching, and one elbow collapsed, but he pushed up before he could fall.

Changmin licked him again, the heat of his skin transferring to Changmin’s face as it pressed against Jae’s ass.

A steady whimper streamed from behind the tie in his mouth.

“God, that’s hot,” Junsu said.

Yoochun chuckled. “Yes, it is.”

It wasn’t the first time he rimmed Jaejoong, but it was the longest. He knew he was stalling. He was going to fuck Jaejoong, but as soon as he did, he made this arrangement okay. He gave up his right to win Jaejoong’s heart; it belonged to Yoochun.

And if it belonged to Yoochun, did he have any right to try for it? To fight for it?

Junsu was right. He was too young to just settle for Jaejoong. But Jaejoong was only a year older and already he’d settled with Yoochun. Changmin knew that no matter what happened in any of their lives that Yoochun and Jaejoong would always be right by each other.

Changmin pulled away from Jae’s ass. Almost absentmindedly, he ran his fingertip up and down the slick crack, around the clenching entrance.

He kneeled.

God, this was fucked up. He could take everything from Jaejoong, but after this, he was still going to be left with nothing.

He pressed the head of his cock against Jae’s entrance. He wasn’t prepped at all, but something told Changmin that Jaejoong wouldn’t give a fuck. Another slap landed on Jae’s ass, and then another. After the third, Changmin pushed in, breaching him, forcing him open. Jae cried out, screaming behind the gag as his elbows finally collapsed. Only the grip Changmin had on his hips kept him up. He moved without giving Jae time to adjust, in and out, fast until their bodies smacked together, and Jae’s constant whimpers filled the room.

There was a touch on his cheek and he jerked around, slowing his violent thrusts.

Junsu smiled at him. “We’re going to go to your room, okay?”

Changmin nodded. Junsu smiled, and then looked down at Changmin’s cock disappearing into Jae’s body.

“Sexy,” he said and touched a single fingertip to Changmin’s cock. Changmin’s eyes shut with a groan and he sped up, cock scraping in and out of Jae’s body.

Junsu kissed Changmin, quick and deep, and said, “Next time you see me, I doubt I’ll be a virgin. So get a good look.”

Changmin laughed and did as he was told. He took one hand off Jae’s hips and stroked Junsu’s half hard cock. Junsu moaned and kissed him again.

“Hey now,” Yoochun said, pulling Junsu away. “It was your idea to leave. You want to stay now?”

Junsu broke from Changmin’s lips and smiled. “No. Let’s go.”

They slipped on sweats and left the room. As soon as the door shut behind them, Changmin pulled out from Jae’s hole, leaving it open and stretched. He touched his finger to the rim.

“On your back,” Changmin said and slapped Jae’s hip.

Jae collapsed, back rising and falling with his deep breaths. It took a minute, but Jae managed to roll over. Changmin grabbed behind his knees, pushed up and forced his cock into Jae again. He fucked him like that for only a moment, and then let go of Jae’s legs and leaned over him. He landed with his elbows on the side of Jae’s face. He tugged on the gag until it slipped from Jae’s mouth.

After allowing him only one deep breath, Changmin stole his breath again with a greedy, needy, violent kiss. He moved his hips faster, deeper, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back in. Jae whimpered into the kiss. Shaking hands settled on Changmin’s sides, slid up his sweaty back, nails scraped his skin.

With a gasp, Changmin broke away, buried his face at Jaejoong’s neck and whimpered as pleasure wracked his body. His hands tangled in Jaejoong’s hair, pulling as he cried out, deep, emotional. His body shook, and he closed his mouth around a patch of skin on Jae’s neck, biting and screaming into it as he came hard into Jae’s body.

He couldn’t stop the tears that dripped down his face, but they mingled with sweat and were lost on shivering skin. His breath was harsh in the silence.

Jae was still moving, whimpering.

Changmin pushed up to his hands, hovering over him. He took a breath for control and said with a smirk, “You okay, Jaejoong?”

Jae’s eyes shut and he whimpered. His hips lifted. Changmin pushed in quickly to keep from slipping out of him.

“Please, Minnie. Please.”

Jae twisted below him, head thrashing back and forth. Changmin continued to move slowly in and out of him.

“I really like you, hyung,” Changmin said. “I do. But …”

Changmin sighed. He reached between their bodies and loosened the cock ring. He wrapped his hand around Jae’s cock. Jae cried out, nails digging into Changmin’s arm. After only two strokes of Changmin’s hand, Jae’s body arched off the bed and he screamed as come arched high, splattering on his chest and stomach.

His body went limp, chest heaving with deep breaths.

Changmin let him rest for a moment, and then pressed closer, pushing his hands under Jae’s hips. They shifted to the side, bodies flush, and Changmin held him tightly. It took Jaejoong a bit longer to return the strong embrace. His lips pressed along Changmin’s collar bone.

“I’m sorry, Minnie. I am. I … we shouldn’t have … I don’t know what. But … I need to apologize for something, don’t I? I like you, too. You’re amazing.”

“But you don’t love me?”

“Do you love me?”

“No, but it’s like you’ve taken that option away, no matter what happens.”

Jae sighed. He shut his eyes as Changmin leaned away. Their lips met in a tender kiss.

“We’re still friends, though,” Changmin whispered against his lips. “Always friends.”

Jae wrapped his arms tightly around Changmin’s neck. “Good.”

A few minutes later, Changmin pushed him away and smirked. “So?”

“So what?”

“Did you enjoy getting your ass spanked?”

Jae laughed. “God, yes. Fuck, yes. I’m going to be shifting in my seat in class tomorrow.”

“Good.”

“Where’d our voyeurs go?”

“Su says they went to my room.”

“God, Yoochun better be fucking that ass.”

Changmin laughed. “With Junsu’s sudden eagerness, I’m putting my money on Junsu topping.”

Jae shook his head. “Nope. Yoochun has been fantasizing about that ass for weeks.”

“Wanna bet on it?”

Jae smirked. “Sure. The prize?”

“If you win, sex with some of those toys in your drawer,” Changmin said.

“And if you win?”

“You top me.”

Jae’s eyes went wide. “What?”

“I know you’re a cock whore, but I still want to know what it’s like.”

“Yoochun can top you.”

“While I top you?”

“Threesome?”

“Foursome?”

Jae laughed. “Oh god. Too much. Too much.”

Changmin smiled, leaned down and kissed him. “Not enough. Can I have some more?” He rotated his hips.

Jae’s eyes rolled back with a whimper.

“I will take that as a yes.”


	22. virginity and blow jobs and lube ... oh my!

Junsu licked another wet line down Yoochun’s torso, purposely bypassing his nipple. He bit down just above Yoochun’s hip, pulling a startled cry from his captive. He licked over the spot a couple of times, and then left a line of purple hickys across his stomach, to his belly button.

“Fuck, Junsu,” Yoochun said, voice layered with disbelief.

It made Junsu grin. For once, he wasn’t the one that was a mess when it came to this. Not that he was calm, the shaking of his hands showed how nervous he was, but they were currently clutching at the blankets on each side of Yoochun’s body, so Yoochun couldn’t tell. He sucked on patches of skin to Yoochun’s other hip, added a matching bite, and then licked up his side.

Yoochun’s moans made him shiver from something other than nerves.

Junsu ran his tongue along Yoochun’s collar bones, sucking up the skin in the valleys, biting on his neck and shoulders.

“Junsu, fuck, please, let me touch you. Please.”

“No. Punishment, remember?”

Yoochun whimpered.

Junsu shut his eyes as the sound caused a wave of pleasure through his body. His cock jerked in the confines of his jeans. He sat up, ass right on Yoochun’s crotch and unbuttoned his jeans to relieve the pressure. Junsu bypassed the rest of Yoochun’s body and slipped down to between his legs. He ran a teasing finger up Yoochun’s hard cock.

Yoochun’s eyes shut with a gasp.

Junsu gripped him, stroked up and down, making Yoochun squirm. With a smirk, Junsu leaned forward and bit down on Yoochun’s inner thigh.

“Fuck, Junsu!”

“Yeah, baby?”

Yoochun gasped, eyes squeezed shut tightly.

A particularly loud moan had both of their heads whipping to the other bed. Changmin kneeled behind Jaejoong, hands spreading his ass while he licked at his hole. Jaejoong was almost screaming behind the tie.

“God, that’s hot,” Junsu said.

“Yes, it is,” Yoochun replied with a laugh.

They watched the couple for a moment, Junsu’s hold on Yoochun’s cock light, teasing.

“I think the only problem is that I still have clothes on,” Junsu said.

Yoochun laughed. “Yes. Get naked, preacher boy.”

Junsu bit his thigh again. “Don’t call me that anymore.”

Yoochun ran his hand over Junsu’s face. “Sorry.”

“Did I say you could touch me?”

Yoochun tried to look contrite as he put his hand back over his head, but the smile ruined it.

“You’re an ass.”

“I love your ass.”

Junsu shimmied out of his jeans and then went right back to licking and sucking on Yoochun’s body while his hand stroked Yoochun’s cock.

“Fuck, Su,” Yoochun whimpered.

Junsu looked up Yoochun’s body from his position between his legs. He smirked and then very slowly stuck his tongue out and touched it to the tip of Yoochun’s cock. Yoochun eyes widened further with a whine. His hips thrust up, and then Junsu licked the length, stopping at the ridge before circling the crown.

“Fuck,” Yoochun said and pushed Junsu’s head away right before a string of come shot from his cock and covered his stomach.

Junsu laughed. “Quick.”

Yoochun gasped, chest heaving and he fell against the bed. “Your fault. Sexy.”

Junsu climbed over Yoochun’s body and kissed him. “Not much of a punishment. I’m going to have to take lessons from Jaejoong.”

“No, you’re not. I can teach you just as well.”

“You two are sluts.”

“Yes.”

They looked over at the other two again. Changmin was fucking Jaejoong, and Junsu could tell it was more about emotions than it was about pleasure.

“I say we leave these two alone and get out of this emotionally constricting room.”

“Good idea,” Junsu said and he rolled off the bed and stood up. “Min.”

Changmin didn’t reply, eyes glued to his cock disappearing into Jaejoong’s body. Junsu reached out and touched his cheek. Changmin jerked alert, eyes wild before focusing on Junsu.

Junsu smiled. “We’re going to go to your room, okay?”

Changmin nodded. Junsu looked down and watched Changmin fuck Jaejoong for a moment.

“Sexy,” he said and touched a single fingertip to Changmin’s cock. Changmin’s eyes shut with a groan and he sped up.

Junsu kissed him, quick and deep, and said, “Next time you see me, I doubt I’ll be a virgin. So get a good look.”

Changmin laughed and did as he was told, eyes racking over Junsu’s naked skin. He took one hand off Jae’s hip and stroked Junsu’s half hard cock. Junsu moaned and kissed him again.

“Hey now,” Yoochun said, pulling Junsu’s arm. “It was your idea to leave. You want to stay now?”

Junsu broke from Changmin’s lips and smiled. “No. Let’s go.” They slipped on sweatpants and quickly left the room. Their lips attached, Yoochun pushed him up against the wall in the hallway. Junsu moaned, hands on Yoochun’s hips, slipping under clothes. Yoochun growled and spun them, walking Junsu backwards, trying to find their way down the hall. They slammed into a wall again. Junsu ground their hips together. Yoochun moaned loudly.

“God, I want to suck on you, Su, drop to my knees right here and swallow your dick.”

Junsu groaned, fingers digging into Yoochun’s ass.

A throat cleared behind them. Yoochun jerked away, and with eyes heavy with lust, they looked down the hall.

Heechul stood there, jeans riding low on his hips, a smirk on his face. “Either take this to your room, or come to my room.”

Junsu laughed. He pushed Yoochun away from him enough that he could take his hand and they walked toward Heechul. “Sorry. It’s—”

Heechul looked down at Junsu crotch. “Hard, I know.”

Junsu laughed again, and to Heechul’s surprise, kissed him, long enough for it to be a kiss, but not long enough for it to upset Yoochun. “This is not for you this time,” he said, grabbing his cloth-covered erection. He tugged Yoochun past him.

Yoochun shrugged at Heechul’s look and said, “It’s a long story. I’ll explain it tomorrow.”

Heechul smirked.

As soon as the door to Yoochun’s room was shut behind them, Junsu pinned him against it and ravished his mouth again.

“Going to go for Heechul now?” Yoochun asked.

Junsu pulled back. “Tell me I can’t.”

Yoochun sighed and bit his lip.

Junsu smiled in victory. “But don’t worry. I don’t think I need Heechul. He’d just be what my brother called a quick fuck. But you. I need you. So fucking much right now.”

“God, what did your brother say to you?” Yoochun asked as Junsu led him to the bed. He lay on his back, arms above his head like he had been before. Junsu undressed them both, and then straddled Yoochun’s hips.

“He told me a lot of things. Gave me a lot of details. We talked for hours, Chunnie, and god, it’s like, this whole new brother that I didn’t know I had was suddenly there. I’m supposed to thank you for him, by the way.”

“For what?”

“You and Jaejoong, for, and his words were, ‘kissing some sense into me’.”

Yoochun laughed, leaned up and kissed Junsu quickly.

“We also talked about … like commitment and stuff, and he told me not to fall in love, because being so young, falling in love just meant getting your heart broken, and that with you and Jaejoong and Changmin that I should learn everything I can and then branch out. He pretty much told me to be a slut.”

Yoochun smiled. “I don’t suggest you do that. Ask Jaejoong. Nameless, emotionless sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Jaejoong is different though, isn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love him?”

“I always have, Su.”

“So why am I with you and why is he with Changmin?”

“Um … because we’re selfish?”

Junsu laughed. “Yes, you are. Want to take what you want from my body?”

Yoochun’s eyes rolled back with a groan. He lifted his hips and pushed their bodies together. “Is my punishment over?”

“Yes.”

In the next moment, the room spun and Junsu found him self flipped over and under Yoochun with a tongue in his mouth. He really didn’t care. His hands tangled in Yoochun’s hair and he followed the kiss with eager noises and nips on Yoochun’s lips.

Yoochun was shaking. “Fuck, Su.”

“You keep saying that.”

“I know, I’m just … so … fuck.”

His lips attached to Junsu’s neck, sucking and biting down to his shoulders, across his collar bone. Junsu ran his hands over Yoochun’s back, down to his ass and pulled his hips, sliding their bodies together, erections pressed together. Yoochun cried out, eyes shutting and then bypassed all of Junsu’s skin and wrapped his tongue around Junsu’s cock.

It was Junsu’s turn to scream. The sweet, agonizing pressure from Yoochun’s mouth gripped the head of his cock and then slid down, moving slowly, over the length of him. Wet and warm, tight and loose. He tried to watch through blurry, half-lidded eyes as his cock disappeared into Yoochun’s mouth. He moaned and arched up, gagging Yoochun. He tried to stammer an apology, but it was cut off as too much pleasure rushed through him and, he cried out. White flashed behind his eyelids, and his body jerked as he came into Yoochun’s mouth.

“Do it again,” Junsu said. “Fuck, do it again.”

Yoochun chuckled. He kissed the inside of Junsu’s thigh, the bend in his hip, his abs and chest and nipples, up to this collar bone. Their lips pressed together, their kiss full of the tangy taste of come. Junsu moaned, arms wrapped around Yoochun’s body, holding him close. Yoochun’s hand caressed his side, and along his leg. After a single tug, Junsu lifted his leg and wrapped it around Yoochun’s hips. Yoochun’s fingers caressed his skin, dancing along the curve of his ass.

Junsu couldn’t help the shivers that assailed him when Yoochun’s fingers touched his entrance.

“You sure about this, Su-ah?” Yoochun asked.

“Yes, please. Yes.”

Yoochun continued to kiss him, and did nothing more than lightly press his finger against his hole. Nothing more, until Junsu realized, through his slightly panicked brain, that Yoochun was waiting for him to relax. He broke away from the kiss, eyes shut and took a deep breath, focusing on that touch until it wasn’t scary and he wanted to feel more of it. His cock was still hard, pressed between their bodies.

Yoochun pecked his lips. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

Junsu opened his eyes to watch as Yoochun moved to his desk and opened a drawer for a bottle of lube. He was nervous, but as the bottle shook while Yoochun spread lube on his fingers, Junsu knew that Yoochun was as well.

“Why are you nervous?” Junsu asked.

Yoochun sort of smiled. “I don’t want to hurt you, and this is going to hurt.”

“True, but at least I’m not letting Changmin fuck me first.”

Yoochun laughed. He came back to the bed, and they rearranged to their previous position. Yoochun’s slick finger touched his hole. Their lips pressed together, and Junsu moaned into the kiss as Yoochun’s finger pressed into him, shallow, not much, and before Junsu could wince from the slight sting, he withdrew it. Their lips parted long enough for Yoochun to pour more lube on his finger and then they kissed again.

Junsu was in heaven, or the deviant, sex-filled equivalent. Junho had said that preparation would feel amazing, and it did. And it was a form of torture as Yoochun pushed more and more of that single finger inside him. There was a thing called a prostate that Yoochun may or may not find, his brother said, and Junsu wanted to ask Yoochun, but couldn’t, mind too clouded with lust and need.

A foreign voice (his own but so lustful and greedy) moaned when a second finger pushed in with the first. Yoochun asked him if he was okay. Voice lost, Junsu nodded. It felt weird, but in a good way, and god, so full, so fucking full and stretched and—Junsu shivered when Yoochun rotated his fingers, spreading them apart.

Lips pressed against his, but Junsu couldn’t kiss Yoochun back, mouth open, gasping as the world tilted around him. He was dizzy, eyes shut tight, as even the bed felt like it was buckling, trying to throw him away.

He cried out in pain when more was added to him, and Yoochun stopped, whispering words to him he wasn’t sure he heard. Yoochun’s other hand rubbed up and down his thigh and stomach, trying to calm him down, and Junsu concentrated on that voice, took deep breaths. More lube was poured on his body and then the pressure came back, the pain didn’t increase, but settled in his stomach.

A soft caress of lips pressed against his cheek, and Junsu realized he was crying, and the fingers had stopped moving, settling inside him, calm compared to Junsu’s shaking.

“Su-ah, Su-ah,” Yoochun whispered, caring and quiet.

Junsu whimpered, and then the lips moved to his and they were kissing again, kissing until the pressure was bearable and the pain was little more than a sting in the deepest parts of him.

“You with me, now?’ Yoochun asked, kissing Junsu’s cheek.

Junsu nodded.

“Do you want to stop? We don’t have to do this all right now.”

“No,” Junsu managed. “No. Just … I … just do it, please.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Yoochun said, lips dancing over Junsu’s lips.

“I know. But I want you. I want this. Please, Yoochun.”

Junsu winced when Yoochun removed his fingers.

He grabbed his pillows. “Put these under you, Su. It will be better.”

Shaking and with help from Yoochun, Junsu did, raising his hips up.

“Wait,” Junsu said as Yoochun tipped the lube. He held his hand out, and Yoochun smiled before pouring the lube on Junsu’s hand. Still shaking, but more from lust, Junsu wrapped his slick hand around Yoochun’s erection and stroked him. Yoochun’s eyes shut with a moan. He gripped Junsu’s knees and thrust into his hand, groaning as Junsu twisted his fists.

“Okay, fuck, Su, stop or I’m going to come all over you.”

Junsu stopped and then said, “Come inside me.”

Yoochun’s whole body quivered. He moved his hands to behind Junsu’s thighs and spread him open. With one hand, he pressed the head of his cock against Junsu’s clenching hole. Junsu’s breath caught and he bit his lip against a scream as the head breached him, whining a moment later when Yoochun pulled back and pressed in again, Each press pulled another whimper, another moan, another cry from Junsu’s lips. He heard Yoochun tell him to relax, but he couldn’t and the pain was suddenly gone, and lips against his.

It took a few minutes, but eventually, much needed oxygen permeated his brain enough that Yoochun’s whispers permeated his hearing.

“Gorgeous, Su-ah, and perfect and amazing, and—”

“Chunnie?”

“Huh?”

“Shut up for a minute.”

Yoochun smiled and kissed him.

Another few minutes and Junsu took a deep relaxing breath. Yoochun had moved the pillows and thrown a blanket over them. Junsu nestled into his hold.

Yoochun kissed the top of his head.

“My ass is going to be sore tomorrow,” Junsu said with a pout.

“Yes.”

“Your fault.”

“Why? It’s not like I stole your virginity.”

“Take care of me anyway.”

“I will.”

Junsu met his lips and their kiss deepened. Lust sparked in Junsu’s body again and he broke away with a smile. “No more sex tonight, but it’s still relatively early.”

Yoochun grinned. “What did you have in mind?”

“Suck on me again?”

“Are you going to force me? I’m all tuckered out.”

Junsu wrapped his fingers around Yoochun’s half hard cock, stroking only twice before it filled again. “Huh. Look at that. He’s not all tuckered out.”

Yoochun grinned and emulated Junsu with a hand around Junsu’s cock.

“Consider it part of your punishment,” Junsu said.

“Do I call you master?”

“If you want.”

Yoochun laughed slinked down Junsu’s body. He wrapped his mouth around the head of his cock. Junsu moaned and shifting, wincing a bit at the pain in his lower back. And then Yoochun’s throat was around him and who the fuck cared about a little bit of pain?

“Fuck, Yoochun,” Junsu said, eyes shutting with pleasure.

Yoochun hummed, jerking a startled cry from Junsu as his cock pulsed. He was surprised when a finger circled his entrance, he wasn’t sure why he was surprised, but when it slipped inside him, Junsu whimpered and thrust up, begging for more as pain and pleasure warred in his brain. Yoochun’s mouth and tongue and fingers fell in sync with Junsu’s moans and whimpers. Junsu tangled hands in Yoochun’s hair, yanking up and down, begging for more in gasps and stilted speech. Yoochun’s fingers twisted and Junsu cried out as everything went black, and his nerves felt like they were on fire. He came again in Yoochun’s throat, falling boneless as the pleasure left him all at once.

Yoochun kissed up his body, stealing his lips in a frantic kiss. Moments later he shuddered and warmth splattered on Junsu’s stomach right before Yoochun collapsed on top of him, out of breath.

Junsu was too tired and exhausted and absolutely sated to make him move.


	23. extra credit

Jaejoong sat gingerly at his desk. Changmin leaned against the edge of the desk, and without Jaejoong asking, he slid his notes over. Jae smiled and leaned his head on Changmin’s side for a moment. Changmin pulled out his phone and rapidly hit some buttons.

Jae tried to concentrate on the words in front of him, but his whole lower body ached so much. Even the shower the two shared wasn’t enough to relax his tight muscles.

The door opened, allowing a clinging, giggling YooSu into the room.

Jae met Yoochun’s eyes. Yoochun smirked, and Jae smiled and passed a _it’s about fucking time_ look to him. Junsu peeled himself away from Yoochun and came to him. He put his arms around Jae’s shoulders and kissed his cheek.

“Hi, Jaejoong.”

“Hi, Slutty Su.”

Junsu laughed. “Was that an offer? Yoochun says you’ll let me top.”

“Sure, but not today. I hurt.”

Junsu kissed his cheek again and then straightened. He fingers dug into Jaejoong’s shoulders. Jae moaned and laid his head on the desk.

“You’re supposed to be studying,” Changmin said.

Jae flipped him off. “Class isn’t for another hour.”

“Plenty of time for plenty of things,” Junsu said and then moved in and licked Jae’s ear.

Jae shivered. “God, Su.”

Junsu laughed.

Yoochun slid close to Changmin. “You okay?” he whispered, but Jae heard and stiffened.

“Yes.”

Their warmth was suddenly gone, and Jae opened his eyes to find them. Yoochun had led them to Junsu’s bed. Changmin looked irritated as Yoochun straddled his lap.  
“You sure?”

Changmin sighed. “Yes. I’m sure. What do you want?”

“A kiss.”

Changmin’s gaze flicked to Jaejoong’s for a moment, and then he sighed again. “Fine.”

Yoochun chuckled. “God, don’t be such a bitch. If you don’t want to kiss me, you don’t have to.”

Changmin’s eyes shut. “Sorry, Yoochun. You guys will have to give me some time to get used to this.”

Yoochun smiled and ran his hands through Changmin’s hair. “Sorry. We’re really being selfish.”

“So am I,” Changmin said. His hands settled on Yoochun’s hips.

“How?”

“I could have told you all to fuck off, but I want all of you.”

Junsu laughed. Jae smiled. Yoochun covered the short distance between their lips and kissed him.

“What about me?” Junsu said, leaning over Jaejoong again. “Can I have a kiss?”

“Sure.”

Jae sat up and twisted around the chair. Junsu straddled his lap. Jae put his arms around Junsu’s waist and held him, face pressed into Junsu’s shoulder for a moment, and then he leaned back. Junsu smiled just before their lips met, and Jae sighed, mouth opening to follow Junsu’s tender kiss. Junsu’s fingers carded through his hair. His hips shifted, pulling a shaky moan from Jaejoong.  
  
When Junsu pulled away, his eyes were glazed over, his mouth turned in a satisfied grin.

Jae smiled back. “Get off me,” he said. “I have to read these notes.”

Junsu laughed, but did as he was told. He went to the other two, who had lain down on his bed. He crawled over them and kissed Changmin.

“So what should we do before class while Jaejoong studies?”

“God, you really are a slut,” Changmin said.

Junsu laughed and kissed him again. He pulled away almost immediately and said, “Oh my god. Yoochun.”

“What?”

Junsu climbed off the bed and tugged on Yoochun’s arm. “You are going to explain some things to me.”

Yoochun let himself be pulled up. He chuckled. “Okay. What?”

Junsu went over to Jae’s dresser and opened the top drawer.

“Changmin,” Jae said. “You should go pay attention.”

Changmin met his eyes and smiled. Jae smirked.

“What’s going on?” Yoochun asked.

“Oh, we had a little bet on which one of you would top last night,” Jae said. “And I won, which means Changmin is going to give me kinky toy sex.”

Yoochun narrowed his eyes at his best friend.

“Oh come on,” Jaejoong said. “You’re such a whore for his ass. I knew you’d top.”

Junsu laughed and kissed Yoochun. “Okay. Tell me things. I know about lube,” he said and passed a bottle to Yoochun who passed it to Changmin who passed it to Jaejoong.

“And cock rings,” Junsu said, and the baggie of cock rings went down the line.

“What is this?”

“That would be a butt plug.”

Junsu cocked his head to the side.

Yoochun grinned. “You just shove it in your ass and leave it there. After a while it’s like … fuck, take it out and fuck me already.”

“Okay,” Junsu said and handed it to Changmin. Changmin handed it to Jaejoong.

While the other three had their backs to the drawer, Jaejoong very quietly twisted the cap off the lube.

The next things passed to him were his ball gags.

“Those are just restraints,” Yoochun said. “Jaejoong loves to be tied up and at the mercy of whoever is fucking him. It’s a rush, I’ll tell you that much.”

A few sets of handcuffs were passed down and Jaejoong set them on the desk.

Jae met Yoochun’s eyes and Yoochun smiled as his eyes went down to Jae’s hand, slick with lube. He turned back and explained the differences in all of Jaejoong’s dildos and vibrators, which ones had moving parts, which ones had different speeds.

Jae shifted so he was kneeling on the chair. He pushed his sweats off his ass, and then took the plug and pushed it into himself. He bit his lip against any noise.

Yoochun continued to distract the two with stories about the time Jae had three vibrators in his ass and one down his throat while Yunho and Yoochun fucked each other. Jae slipped a cock ring on his hard cock, and then put a gag in his mouth.

Finally as he snapped the padded cuffs around the top of the chair, the three of them looked over.

Changmin’s eyes went wide. Junsu laughed.

Yoochun shook his head. “This is why you don’t leave Jaejoong unsupervised when there are toys nearby.”

Jae whimpered and tugged on the cuffs. The butt plug was already touching his prostate.

Yoochun smirked. “You know, we could leave him here while we go to class.”

“Ooh,” Junsu said.

“Hyung,” Changmin said. “He has to go to class.”

“True.” Yoochun checked the clock. “Okay, boys, we have about forty minutes.”

“Thirty,” Changmin said. “Jaejoong is going to want a shower.”

Jaejoong nodded.

Junsu smiled. “Well, then what the hell are we waiting for?” he demanded and with two steps was next to Jaejoong and running his fingertips over Jae’s lips stretched tight around the gag. His tongue soon followed and Jaejoong whimpered, eyes falling shut. Changmin stood next to him and twisted his nipples. Yoochun moved behind him. Jae’s ass was still pink and sore from Changmin’s spanking. Yoochun spanked him anyway.

“So will this count as an orgy?” Junsu asked.

Yoochun laughed. “No. This is a foursome. An orgy has five people.”

“Someone go get Heechul,” Junsu said as he kissed Jae’s neck. “I want to be in an orgy.”

Changmin rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure you can use orgy for anything with more than two people.”

“I don’t care,” Junsu said. “Go get Heechul anyway.”

“Fuck, Su. Way to dive in head first.”

“I prefer cock first.”

Changmin pulled Junsu away from Jaejoong and kissed him. “Shut up.”

Junsu laughed. He grabbed the bottom of the chair and then pulled it over to a bed. After a moment of inspecting them, he unhooked the cuffs and then said, “Get naked and get on the bed, Jaejoong, so we can take advantage of you.”

Jae whimpered and did as he was told, body shaking as the plug moved inside him. He stopped in the middle of the bed on his hands and knees.

“On your back,” Yoochun said, “knees bent.”

Jae turned over. He gripped behind his knees and lifted them.

“Junsu, you take his ass, Changmin you take his cock, and I’m going to take his mouth.”

Jae whimpered. Yoochun removed the gag and said, “Any complaints from you?”

Jae whined as Junsu grabbed the plug and twisted it. Changmin’s hand wrapped around his cock, and he shouted out as his body tried to come.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Yoochun said.

Changmin licked Jae’s cock, pulling another cry from him.

Junsu looked pensive.

“What’s wrong, Su?” Yoochun asked as he traced his fingertip over Jaejoong’s lips.

“It’s just … it’s red already.”

Yoochun smiled. “That’s because Changmin fucked him really hard. Don’t worry. He’ll like it.”

“So it’s not wrong to be utterly turned on by this?”

The three of them laughed. “No,” Yoochun said, and pulled his clothes off. “Not at all. Now yank that plug out of him and slam your cock into him.”

Yoochun followed his own advice and straddled Jae’s face. He held his cock down and Jae lifted his head, taking it down his throat. Yoochun moaned, leaned forward and braced himself on the wall. He slowly fucked Jae’s throat.

Changmin’s mouth closed around his cock again and he screamed in absolute pleasure when Junsu twisted the plug at the same time. The noise he suppressed while pushing it in shot from his throat as Junsu tore the plug out.

“Don’t forget lube, Slutty Su,” Changmin said with a grin. “It will feel okay without lube, but it feels better with.”

Jae whimpered around Yoochun’s cock when something hard and warm pushed into his used body.

Junsu groaned. “Oh, fuck.”

Junsu fucked him, quick, no rhythm, just a virgin’s first time. His grip on Jaejoong’s knees was going to leave nail marks. Changmin tightened his throat around Jaejoong’s cock, and with a flick of his finger, released the cock ring. Jae cried out, gagging on Yoochun. Junsu cried out again, body shaking. Warmth spread through Jae and he groaned, rocking his hips and his cock into Changmin’s throat.

“Fuck that feels good,” Junsu said, running his hands up and down the back of Jae’s thighs.

“Feel good?” Yoochun whispered, and their eyes met. Jae smirked around his cock and winked. He lifted his head and took more of Yoochun. Yoochun moaned and cradled the back of Jae’s head, angling his head so every trip down his throat had Yoochun’s cock scraping on the roof of Jae’s mouth.

Jae whimpered when Changmin’s mouth left his cock.

“You want me to suck on you, or fuck you?” Changmin asked.

Jae whined and lifted his hips.

“I’ll suck on you, Jae,” Junsu said. “Don’t worry.”

Yoochun and Changmin chuckled.

Firm hands spread his legs again and the wide head of Changmin’s cock pressed into his body. Jae’s eyes shut against the wince, but Changmin gave him no time to get used to it. He pulled out and pushed in, moaning until he was completely inside him. He set a shallow pace, driving Jaejoong’s insides crazy.

Lips and tongue touched the tip of his cock. He shouted, the vibrations making Yoochun shudder.

“Can you multitask, Junsu?” Changmin asked.

“Um, sort of.”

“Here.”

A few moments later, Yoochun moaned loudly above him, eyes opening and closing, mouth open wide. “He … fuck, he’s fingering me,” Yoochun whispered, and Jae chuckled, causing another body wracking vibration through Yoochun.

A warm mouth covered his cock again.

Yoochun sped up, Changmin matched his pace, but the mouth and tongue stayed slow, calculating and he concentrated on that, took his pleasure from that and let it build around and join with the ache in his neck and the pain from last night.

Yoochun body jerked, the cock in his mouth grew large and twitched. Jae whimpered and then Yoochun came, wave after wave of his release slid down Jaejoong’s throat. Changmin’s thrusts were going erratic, and Jae knew that Changmin would not come before him just to prove a point. Yoochun carefully withdrew his cock from Jae’s mouth. A dollop of come landed on Jae’s cheek.

Yoochun leaned down to lick it up at the same time that Jae’s body decided it’d had enough. He cried out, hips rising from the bed and the mouth moved away and he moaned his disappointment just as he came and he whined and whimpered, covering his body with come. After only a few moments of recovering, Junsu moaned and splatters of warmth landed on Jaejoong’s body. Yoochun climbed away from him, settling close on his side.

Junsu was kneeling next to him, his cock in his hand, come still dripping from the tip.

Changmin’s eyes were shut, his head back, hips slapping forward.

“Come, Min,” Jae said, voice rough again. “Come. Fill me up.”

Changmin whimpered.

Junsu smiled and then moved his head forward. He licked Changmin’s nipple. Changmin’s head shot forward, eyes wide, watching as Junsu licked and chewed on him.

“Fuck,” he shouted. He sped up, body and muscles strained. His eyes shut and he shook, half screaming when he finally fell over Jaejoong’s body. He jerked and Jae shut his eyes in bliss as another load of come filled him up.

Jae let his legs relax. Junsu leaned over and kissed him, tongue reaching into his mouth.

“So I win,” Junsu said.

“Why?” Yoochun asked.

“I came twice.”

“No, I win,” Jae said. “I have five orgasms soaking into my body right now.”

Junsu smiled and bent down to lick up a drop of come from Jae’s chest.

“We’re all going to lose unless we can get ready to go in ten minutes,” Changmin said.

The rest moaned.

“He’s right,” Yoochun said. “And we’ll have to get breakfast after class.”

“Oh well,” Junsu said. “I’d much rather have sex than eat.”

“Not me,” Changmin said with a glare at him. “I need food.”

Yoochun kissed him. “You go shower, and I’ll heat up the rest of that jjigae from last night. Okay?”

Changmin smiled. “Oh, yes.” He jumped up from the bed and went into the bathroom.

Junsu gave each one of them a kiss and said, “What else are you going to teach me while we’re in college?”

Jae and Yoochun smirked at each other. “Lots and lots.”


	24. extra love

Yoochun knocked gently on Jaejoong’s door.

“Yeah,” a voice not Jaejoong’s said.

Yoochun pushed it open. Changmin was at Jae’s desk, reading a book. Jae was asleep. “Hey, Min.”

“Hey, Chunnie.”

Yoochun leaned over him and kissed his cheek. “What are you reading?”

“Ancient composer boring stuff. Where’s Junsu?”

“I don’t know. He said he had a meeting or something.” Yoochun moved over to the bed “I was going to hang out with you two, but I think I’d rather take a nap.”

“You better not wake him up,” Changmin whispered. “He said that I was in for a load of torturous hurt if I woke him.”

Yoochun smiled. “You just need to learn, dongsaeng.” Very carefully, he pulled back the blanket from the wall, but not from Jaejoong. Jaejoong whimpered. “If you pull off the blanket, he’ll be cold and wake up immediately. Getting next to him is tricky.” Yoochun kneeled and then with an exaggerated movement, put his leg over Jaejoong’s body. He held the position for a moment, making sure Jaejoong didn’t wake up, and then finished climbing over him. “Weight distribution,” Yoochun whispered. “And he likes spooning. If you try to climb in front of him, he’ll wake up.” Yoochun lay on his side, and then lifted the corner of the blanket to throw it over them.

Jae whimpered and rolled over, and just like that, Yoochun had his arms full of a sleeping Jaejoong.

“Wow,” Changmin said.

“Comes with practice.”

Yoochun shifted a bit to get comfortable and then shut his eyes, willing his body to relax. It was hard not to smile though; Jae fit so perfectly against his body. He woke up when Jaejoong moved and stretched his arms above him. Yoochun draped his arm over Jae’s stomach and buried into his neck.

“Hmmm, hey, Chunnie,” Jae said, whisper-sleepy.

Yoochun tightened his hold on Jae’s side and threw his leg over Jae’s hips.

Jae chuckled. “Clingy much?”

“So?” Yoochun replied. “I feel like I haven’t held you in days.”

“You haven’t. And it’s been weeks, not days since I’ve last had a proper cuddle from you.”

“Where’s Changmin?” Yoochun asked.

“He left right before you woke up. He said he was going back to his room. That we needed to talk. Do we need to talk?”

“Don’t know.” Yoochun propped up on an elbow. They stared at each other.

Jaejoong smiled. “This is weird.”

“Why?”

“Because … well, yeah, Changmin freaked out a little and so did Junsu, but otherwise … it’s like …”

“Too perfect?”

Jae nodded. “So when does it fall apart?”

Yoochun traced a finger over Jae’s face, along his forehead, across his eyebrows, down his cheek. “You think that I’ll just leave you like that?”

“I don’t know.”

Yoochun smiled. “I’ve been dealing with you too long to just let this fall apart. I love you, Jaejoong. Best friend, lover, boyfriend, whatever you want to call me, but I fucking love you so fucking much that it actually hurts to hear you talk about us falling apart.”

“And MinSu?”

“They know what they’re getting into. We’re not lying to them. So when they’ve had enough, or they’ve met someone else, then good for them. But you, you are mine, and I will always be here for you.”

“Good.” Jae wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Yoochun moaned as Jae’s tongue swiped along his lips. He pushed Jae back, demanding more with a steady push of tongue. Jae’s fingers tangled in his hair, and his legs wrapped around Yoochun’s body. They settled together, bodies aligned, moving in sync. Their cocks hardened and tented their sleep pants.

Jae’s hands pushed into the back of Yoochun’s pants, cupping his ass. Yoochun broke away with a gasp, lips still brushing as they rocked together.

“Jae, you’re …”

Jae kissed him. “Let me fuck you.”

Yoochun shivered. “What?”

“Let me fuck you,” Jae said, gripping his ass tightly. “You know, shove my cock in your ass. I hear it feels good.”

Yoochun chuckled. “You want to top?”

“I want to have sex with you and right now, my ass hurts because Changmin has a fucking huge cock.”

“You’re still going to make me do all the work, aren’t you?”

Jae rolled his eyes. “Well, duh.” He shoved him a bit. “Go get lube. Now.”

Yoochun laughed as he climbed out of the bed and went to the toy drawer. He dug around it for a moment and said, “Where’s your lemon lube?”

“Um, it’s not there?”

“No.”

“Just grab one, fucker.”

“I want lemon.”

“I want you.”

“Fine, fine. Strawberry?”

“Whatever. God.”

Yoochun smiled as he climbed back on bed. “Well, I’m the bottom, aren’t I? And aren’t bottoms supposed to be demanding and picky? Or is that just you?”

He cut off Jae’s reply with a deep kiss. When Yoochun finally pulled away, Jae’s eyes were shut, breath heavy.

“I’m supposed to be angry about you saying smack about me,” Jae said. “Kiss me again.”

“Nope.”

Yoochun covered his fingers in lube. He brought one to his mouth and licked it. “I want lemon.”

“Your ass wants strawberry,” Jae said.

Yoochun smiled. “Let’s see,” he said and pushed his sweat pants off his ass. He ran his fingertips over his entrance. “Doesn’t seem too eager for strawberry.” He pushed the finger inside him and moaned. “Yeah, fuck. No strawberry. It’s so tight.”

Jae smirked. “You’re such a dork, you bastard. Hurry up.”

“But I want it slow,” Yoochun leaned over and pressed their lips together. “Slow, and beautiful and don’t you dare say something about me being a girl. I don’t want to have sex with you, Jae, I want you to love me.”

Jae smiled. “Sap.” He cupped Yoochun’s face and kissed him, slow and languid, a comfortable touch and slide of tongues. Jae pulled on his arm, and Yoochun removed his finger. Jae’s arms wrapped around him and they turned so they were on their sides, legs entwined, bodies pressed close.

“You’re my favorite person in the whole world to kiss,” Jae whispered.

“And I’m the sap,” Yoochun returned with a smile.

Jae slapped his arm. “Shut up. I’m trying to be loving. I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“How about we stop talking, because it seems like we’ll just ruin the mood if we keep it up?”

“Fabulous idea.”

They kissed again, but Yoochun kept the kisses light, teasing, drawing Jae closer and more impatient as every attempt to add tongue to the kiss was ignored. Yoochun traced his fingers over Jae’s cheeks, down his neck, into his hair. Jae whimpered, and finally gave in, following Yoochun’s open-mouthed kisses, moaning into each press of lips. When Yoochun finally added tongue, it was light but firm, and Jae followed, letting his hands show his impatience by gripping Yoochun’s back and ass and shoulders.

“You’re my favorite person in the whole world to kiss,” Yoochun whispered, heart clenching when Jaejoong smiled.

Before Jae could reply, Yoochun kissed him, really kissed him, throwing every bit of his heart and soul and love into it. Jaejoong was his. Or he was Jaejoong’s. He’d always belonged to Jaejoong. He always would.

Jae’s hands tugged on Yoochun’s t-shirt. Their lips parted enough for Jae to pull it off, and then the desperate kisses were back until Jae lifted up and his tank top was tossed somewhere else. Yoochun tugged at Jae’s pants, and with lips connected, they helped each other get naked.

Yoochun pinned Jae’s shoulders to the bed and then kissed down his neck and collar bone. It was skin he knew well and he paid careful attention to every spot that jerked under his tongue, just above his nipple, right below his collar bone, against his stomach, around his belly button. And then he went back, kissing everywhere else, sucking on his side, leaving light hickys across his shoulders and chest.

“Fuck, Yoochun,” Jae whispered. “Fuck.”

The hitch in his voice made Yoochun glance up at him. Jae’s eyes were shut, and a trail of tears shone in the dim light. Yoochun kissed up his neck and over his cheek. He kissed the corners of each of Jae’s eyes.

“Why are you crying, love?” Yoochun whispered against his lips.

“I love you,” Jae said immediately. “I love you, so much.”

Yoochun smiled. “I love you.” He let Jae kiss him again, lead it and push him to the bed and crawl over him.

After the second press of lips against his neck, Yoochun understood why Jaejoong was crying. He clenched his hands into fists, eyes shut tight, trying to stave off the emotions, but they leaked from his eyes any way. Jaejoong said nothing, but kissed the corners of his eyes and then his lips, before moving back to his neck. Yoochun took a few deep breaths to calm down, and then concentrated on the feel of those lips on his skin.

Jae knew all the right spots to make his skin shiver, and when his fingertips caressed just below his ribs, Yoochun moaned. He grabbed Jae’s head and practically screamed when Jaejoong scraped his teeth along the edge of his rib.

“Fuck!”

Jae chuckled against his skin and continued kissing down his body.

Yoochun lay back with a sigh, body shuddering as Jae licked around his cock, tongue barely brushing it. His palms rested on Yoochun’s stomach, his fingers curled to just that spot on his ribs.

“Hey, Chunnie,” Jae said, singsong.

Yoochun opened his eyes, and then moaned and shut them again as Jae’s tongue darted out and licked the head of his cock. “If you tease me, I’m going to come,” Yoochun warned.

Jae laughed. A slick finger ran around the underside of Yoochun’s balls.

“Oh, god,” he groaned and lifted his legs, grabbed behind his knees.

Jae laughed again and put the finger to better use, sliding it into Yoochun’s body. “See? It likes strawberry.”

“It likes you,” Yoochun said with a grin. He held a hand out and Jae laced their fingers together.

“I like you,” Jae said, and licked Yoochun’s cock again, but not teasing, enough to wrap his tongue around it and lift up, slide it into his mouth without using his hands.

“Fuck, Jae,” Yoochun said. His other hand tried to grab air first and then settled into Jaejoong’s hair. Jae swallowed his cock, took all of it down his throat.

Yoochun moaned and lifted his hips. Jae hummed, and met his eyes for a moment. A second finger pressed into him, but Jae stopped, Yoochun’s cock held lightly between his lips. Yoochun’s eyes rolled back, and he tightened the hold on Jae’s hair. He thrust up sharply into Jae’s throat.

“God,” Yoochun whispered as Jae matched his pace with fingers in his ass. “Remember that if you tease I’m going to come thing?” he said, words laced with moans, each one accompanied by a trip into Jae’s warm mouth.

Jae immediately pulled away, ignoring Yoochun’s groan of disappointment. “With all the years you’ve been having sex, you’d think you’d built up your longevity.”

Yoochun shook his head, unable to come up with a response to that.

A third finger twisted inside him.

“Oh, fuck, Jae, please, that’s enough. Please.”

“Patience, love,” Jae whispered against his thigh. He kissed up the bend at Yoochun’s hip and then over his stomach and ribs, again pausing to tease and torture that one spot. He swirled his tongue around Yoochun’s nipples and then over his collarbone. Their lips pressed together, and then opened, tongues reaching, teeth biting lips. Jae removed his fingers, and settled between Yoochun’s legs. He paused long enough to smile at Yoochun, and then pressed the head of his cock into Yoochun’s body. They both moaned, Yoochun’s eyes shutting at the stretch. It really had been too long.

Jae fell over him, forcing his cock deeper, hands on planted on either side of his head. Their lips met again and Jae moved, thrusting slow and steady, Yoochun’s legs wrapped around him. Their breaths were shared, ghosting across kiss-abused lips. Their eyes locked, foreheads pressed together.

Jae shifted up enough to grab Yoochun’s cock. Yoochun cried out at the sudden pressure.

“Weren’t you going to come?” Jae asked.

Yoochun whimpered and nodded, and he was, his orgasm twisted through him, teased him, building. “Harder, Jae, please, please. It feels so good.”

Jae kissed Yoochun’s cheek and along his jaw. He gave Yoochun what he wanted, hips snapping forward. Yoochun’s eyes shut, his back arched, and with a cry, he shot his release between their bodies. Jae moaned and sped up again. Yoochun twitched, trying to recover. Fingers pressed against his lips and he licked at them, cleaning his come up, and Jae joined him, tongues wrapping together.

“Oh, god, Yoochun,” Jae whispered, body shuddering. “I fucking love you.” His body shuddered, and his teeth bit down on Yoochun’s lower lip. He moaned as he came, warmth spreading through Yoochun’s body. Jae collapsed on top of him, and with a minor adjustment, they fit together again, from lips to legs.

Jae’s body hitched, and Yoochun tightened his embrace.

“I love you,” Yoochun said, kissing Jae’s shoulder.

“Love you. God, this made me never want to be with anyone else again,” Jae said.

Yoochun chuckled, “I will take that as a compliment. But that’s also a lie. You love Changmin’s cock.”

Jae laughed and very carefully pulled out of Yoochun’s body. They rearranged again, with Jae curled up into Yoochun’s chest.

After a few minutes, Jae whispered, “Chunnie?”

“Huh?” Yoochun’s head was still spinning from his orgasm, body weak.

“Why do you put up with me?”

Yoochun smiled. “Because you’re pretty.”

Jae slapped his stomach, and then tickled him. Yoochun tensed and laughed under the onslaught, struggling and finally forcing Jae’s hands above his head. Yoochun pinned him down, and they continued to laugh for a moment before Yoochun kissed him.

“Do I need a reason?” he said against Jae’s lips.

Jae pouted. “I guess not, but that sounds bad. Like … like I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”

“Baby, I fell in love with you when we were barely teenagers,” Yoochun whispered. “If I didn’t leave you then, why would I now, when you’re all mine, and you’ve given me everything I’ve wanted?”

Jae sighed. “I … I just, I don’t want to lose you, Chunnie. I don’t.”

“You won’t.” Yoochun kissed him again, and the cuddled together. “I will never ever find someone who I fit with so perfectly.”

Jae sighed again. “You’re so cheesy sometimes.”

“I’m trying to be serious and tell you how I feel.”

“I know. I – I like fitting with you.”

“Good, now stop talking. I’m tired.”

Jae chuckled. “You’ve got the demanding bottom part down to an art.”

“I learned from the best.”

Jae moaned. “God, I want you to fuck me.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Now.”

“See? You’re the best.”

Jae pouted.

Yoochun kissed it away. “Tomorrow. Let your body rest, you little slut.”

Jae shivered.

Yoochun kissed him again. “My little slut.”

“Oh, god.”

Yoochun’s lips trailed down his jaw, and to his neck. “My bottom whore. My toy. My pet.”

“Please, Yoochun, fuck. Don’t tease me.”

Again, Yoochun pinned his arms above his head. Their cocks brushed and Yoochun’s was hard in an instant.

“I can do whatever I want to you,” Yoochun whispered, lips barely touching Jaejoong’s, “because you’re mine.”

Jae’s eyes rolled back, but he smiled and nodded. “Always.”

“Good, now, go to sleep. We have a test tomorrow.” Yoochun pulled away from him and lay on his side, back to Jaejoong. Jae groaned. Yoochun smiled. He’d let Jae rest, fake sleep for a bit longer and then at two or three in the morning, wake Jaejoong up with his cock down his throat.

Jae huffed. “Are you going to rape me while I sleep?” he asked, cuddling closer, his arms snaking around Yoochun’s waist.

Yoochun laughed. “You know me so well, huh?”

“Yes. Just make sure you tie me up beforehand. I like waking up all tied up.”

Yoochun chuckled. “Demanding bottom.”

Lips pressed against his shoulders, and then breath ghosted over his skin. “I love you, Yoochun.”

Yoochun held onto Jae’s arm tightly. “I love you, Jaejoong.”


End file.
